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Has anyone moved away from an area where they had a troubled past and how did it help if so?.

3 replies

malificent7 · 06/08/2026 08:22

I moved back to my childhood area 18 years ago when I was pregnant and alone.
It is a beautiful place in the countryside but I had a lot of problems growing up...bullied at school, abusive childhood, being involved in a toxic scene and I find it incestuous...e.g my dad is with my ex best friend's mum. It is also rural so opportunities are limited.
Now dd is 18 I want to move away. Will it help? I feel kind of trapped here and like I want a fresh start. Dh likes it though ...very tricky .

OP posts:
malificent7 · 06/08/2026 09:00

Anyone?

OP posts:
TheeNotoriousPIG · 06/08/2026 09:52

I did. I left three times- once for university, and twice because of work. Each time, it was predicted that I'd fail to cope, and run home with my tail between my legs. Almost five years have passed since I last left, and I have no intention of ever going back.

I grew up in a village where my entire extended family lived within a three mile radius, and has done since the Dawn of Time. I like most of them dearly, but... it was suffocating. I didn't want to stay there forever, send my children to the same schools, etc. It was expected that I'd grow up there, get married, have children, and stay there forever. Unfortunately, all I had wanted from my teens onwards was to escape. It is lucky that I did, because the village is now being swallowed up by a large town with a notorious reputation, and it's nice to live somewhere where people either haven't heard of it, or go, "Oh, X is a lovely place!"

The privacy here, 80 miles away, is AMAZING! I can go to a shop and not see anyone that I'm related to! The independence is also incredible, and I still feel terribly rebellious for driving in the dark, or driving on the motorway (I was frequently warned how dangerous it was). I have more freedom, and I don't get guilt-tripped into doing things by family. In short, it is liberating!

I now have family members who feel trapped there, by work, family ties and so on. I appreciate that it was easier for me, because I was doing it on my own, and didn't have to convince anyone else to come with me!

OneMoreBanana · 06/08/2026 10:14

I grew up in a toxic family situation and moved to another country when I was 21. Have only ever gone back to visit. At the time the move was for work and meant to be temporary but then it just gradually more permanent. I know the main reason I never reversed it was because I was better off with some distance between myself and my family.

It definitely helped. I'm not "over it" as such but when I go back and see the people involved I'm always struck by what complete fuck ups they still are, in ways that I've grown out of and been able to see beyond.

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