Who is your favourite fictional mother figure?

[DontTellMama]

Something I’ve been working on in therapy for a long time is what makes a good (enough) mother. And I’ve realised I don’t have any real life role models of good mothers (aunts and uncles on one side of the family are childless, and on the other side are estranged), so I’m looking to fiction for some help!

Who would you say is the best/your favourite fictional mother figure?

The Dowager Duchess of Denver

Mrs Cratchit! Gives her all to raise a family where her children are encouraged to have aspirations despite the limitations of their circumstances whilst managing a very poorly child with no state assistance. Has a sense of humour and is feisty enough to argue against toasting Scrooge on Christmas Day (and only relents due to her loyalty to her husband, and models this to her children). Conjures up Christmas dinner (mainly potatoes) from a budget of nothing and then frets about the Christmas pudding. Resourceful and proud, setting the tone for her whole family’s outlook on life, focusing on gratitude for what they have rather than being dragged down by the impact of what they lack. And finally, forgiving and compassionate, welcoming Scrooge into the family rather than harbouring resentment towards him.

I also have considerable sympathy for Mrs Bennnet, trying to secure the future of 5 girls whilst clearly in the throes of menopause and with limited intellectual and social skills. All the while belittled by her husband.

I grew up reading and re-reading Little Women, so Marmee was very influential. I know she’s perceived as saintly, but the love she has for her daughters and the bond she has with Jo I found very moving. When she admits she is “angry nearly every day” it gives her such more emotional depth.
I love that she is the moral anchor and emotional heart of the family. You see how much she worries about and misses her husband, but swallows it down to put on a brave face for the girls.

Secondly, and probably more relatable to my own personality: Nanny Ogg. 🧙🏼‍♀️

Growing up in the 70s, I always thought Olivia Walton from The Walton's seemed the perfect mother. She was beautiful too.

My immediate thought was Marilla Curhbert. So pleasing that others think the same.

Sound of music - Maria
Mrs Large
Alfie's mum

This is an interesting thread- i remember my English teacher in y7 explaining that you don't get many good mothers in children's books, because a good plot requires adversity and adventure and a good mother protects small children from those.

I think a lot of the mothers in Motherland are good role models. They obviously love and want what’s best for their children, hold down demanding jobs, navigate the difficulties and mundanity of modern life, whilst still being their own person and not just ‘mum’.

Lois MacMaster Bujold has some good mothers in the Vorkosiverse. First and centre Cordelia, but Alys and Drou and Aunt Helen all provide mothering to their adult children while pursuing their own adult lives and interests.

The first name that came to mind was Marilla Cuthbert.

I was thinking of Ann. I love Ann. I love her mixture of clucking around her children but being proud of them starting to become adolescents. And she is a person in her own right but never brags about it. (Didn't she run Glaxo Smith Kline before she became a mother? )

The grandmother in Roald Dahl’s The Witches, although possibly without the cigar smoking.

Garnie & Nana from Ballet Shoes. They were both so loving and did their best for the girls who weren't even their own.

Joyce Summers from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Ok, she did once try to burn Buffy at the stake but she was under a spell at the time. Otherwise, she's a normal, caring mum, makes mistakes but always has her daughter's best interests at heart, worrying about her grades, cautioning her against dating unsuitably older men, and protecting her from the occasional supernatural attack with whatever means necessary.
She's also a kind motherly presence to Buffy's mates, and has a relatably naughty streak herself...

Nancy in Oliver! (I don’t know about the version in the original Dickens).

She brings much-needed softness to Fagin’s den, she’s warm and funny, she’s also a mother/big sister figure to Bet and she ultimately sacrifices herself to save Oliver. All without being an actual mother herself.

TV and film, not books, sorry but...

Ripley in Aliens.

Joyce in Stranger Things.

Pam...PAMALA 😂 IYKYK

This was my first thought too

Sue Brierley and Kamla Munshi as Saroo's adopted and biological mother in Lion.

My first thought was Molly Weasley. I grew up as an abused child reading Harry Potter and Mollys kindness to Harry made me cry at times as Id never came across a character like that, she stood up for him, included him and treated him like one of her own and treated all her kids with love. She was a strong but loving character and I felt she protected him and valued him.

Also the nice teacher in Matilda, I liked her and wished for someone like her to come and rescue me - but no one ever came unfortunately!

Then in the early days of youtube I watched Shaytards and I remember in the first video I seen I was a bit shocked how they openly said "love you" to their kids but thats just how they treated their kids! Collette is a great Mum and for lots of people in comments ive seen over the years she showed what a mum could be.

And as an adult ive continued to watch occassionaly and keep an eye on how she navigated her husbands affair, his alcohol issues, separation and reconcilliation. Shes a strong woman and the epitomy of a good Mum, a fantastic woman and I took a lot from her and it influenced my parenting and to be honest made me believe I could one day be a Mum myself and gave me a different blueprint for how to do it over years.

This was in early days of youtube and there was no polished vids like nowadays.

Theyve now been on youtube been online for 20 years and now post very occassional video of kids leaving home, preparing to get married etc. Not like the old days but nice to see how theyve all turned out despite their challenges

But yes Collette is a great woman and Mum.

Miss Honey from Matilda, soft and loving and kind or Piper Halliwell from Charmed, badass but still soft and with cool powers!

Grams in Dawson's Creek.

i agree Miss Honey

@VimesandhisCardboardBoots which doscworld novel is Sybil from, I don't think I've read that one.

I was coming on to say Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg...I really like the tough love relationship they have with Magrat (and how they are motherly/protective over their whole village)

Oh, yes, this!! I have never been so traumatised by fiction as I was as a small child by the sight of her being imprisoned and called mad for standing up for her child.