Has anyone had success with Meet Ups?

[Feadsisbanging]

I’m in London, single (47) and as my daughter gets older and doesn’t need me so much I’m looking to broaden my friendship group as I’ve started to get quite lonely.

People on here talk about Meet Up a lot but when I look it’s quite confusing. Firstly it’s pretty expensive if you want to sign up to see who’s attending (£10 a week!), secondly a lot of the events seems to have just 1 attendee or they have very few.

Anyone had success with using it, as I’m not envisaging turning up to events and it’s me and some weirdo…

How do I weed out actual decent meet ups?

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/meetups

You could try this.

What sort of activities do you like doing or want to be doing?

Tennis is a really sociable sport - or padel, or badminton. If you play ot ochle learn can you join a club or a league ?

There are 3 local parks near me looking for volunteers.

Choir (or band orchestral) also has been a great one.

A friend met her now husband when they both volunteered for Samaritans.

Cold water swimming attracts lots of like-minded middle aged women!

there are a lot of activities that are done in groups and facilitate chat. Some may involve a regular coffee or pub visit afterwards - others this comes later. I think the key is to find something that you are happy doing anyway and allow the friendships to grow from that.

You don’t need to pay. They brought this in a couple of years ago…but there’s no need to. Just join some groups and attend some of their activities/events.

I joined in 2017 and have had some fantastic experiences, made lifelong friends and done things I’d never have done by myself.

To add…the weekly fee that they try to make you ‘think’ you need to pay, just gives additional perks. All of these ‘perks’ used to be free…things like being able to direct message anyone in your groups, see everyone’s photos and bio (a bit like dating apps!). However, just click past the fee bit and use the free stuff…you don’t need the perks. I’m a member of several groups…nobody pays the fee!

Adding also horse riding.

My local riding school does lots of classes during the day for 'returner riders', so you get women (it's usually women) who are coming back into riding after raising families and they group them by ability. There's lots of laughing and one or two have gone on to own a shared horse between them. But even if you've never ridden before there are beginner groups too, and they tend to socialise after classes a lot.

No just a normal reformer or mat Pilates but always an opportunity for a quick hello before or after the class, I’ve found it a great way to meet new people. You can usually get a general first impression and they of you ..

Sorry, I think that's a bit odd. I've done tons of yoga and pilates classes. Hardly ever talked to anyone else and I certainly don't think it's the best place to make friends... You're busy! Do you talk to people afterwards? When they are trying to leave? I would find it so odd if someone tried to befriend me after a yoga class. How do you go from a 'quick hello' to besties?!

Glad it's not just me!

That has always been my experience - people are in, out & off.
Plus most come along with a friend & just chat to them if they do any chatting...

Maybe it depends on the location, smaller town/village might be friendlier?

No need to apologise, works fine for me. Not looking for besties.. I’m not ten years old. Pleasantries before and after have led to chats to the car or waiting for class to start and I’ve met some wonderful people. People are different ! And that’s ok !

@cloudtreecarpet I have found similar. I am 52. I went to a hiking group. Everyone was lovely but I was at least two decades older than everyone else there! It didn't stop me but I was just at such a different life stage to the others and was really aware of the age difference.

Noot quite the same but I have seen speed dating events on Eventbrite for younger and older people, but very little for our age group. Not that I would ever do speed dating. I am single and would like to meet friends.

Have you met actual friends that you do things with away from the class or do they remain people you chat with at the class?
I think that's what people are wondering.

I have definitely had the odd chat with people at a class before but never moved beyond that - chatting at a class.

Your first post implies you have found this, your subsequent post doesn't make it sound like that?

So they are acquaintances then? People you talk to on the way to your car?

I think the OP wants a bit more than that.

I have met loads of mates via Meetup groups, but I put effort in by turning up regularly.

@KitsyWitsy@cloudtreecarpetsome of them are acquaintances but some, as a result of those chats have moved on to be lovely friends. It’s great to have a blend of both