has anyone bought one of those 'i'm dead now what' books?

[DecisionTime123]

single parent, in 60s ,to 2 young adult DDs no other family other than ex, their dad. I keep starting to write down instructions for the worst case scenario on bits of paper or in note books but I have quite limiting ADHD so I feel one of these books would focus my mind but are they all very American? I think the idea is that the book prompts you on what to include so if it's a non UK one i'd assume a lot would be irrelevant or confusing. any thoughts/recommendations?

Thanks for that detail. A shame as that’s the one I was considering.

Yep, sorry. It was basically just a fairly flimsy and very thin booklet.

I'm looking for something that adapts to different needs. I think it needs to be separate sheets able to be put in a file, and which can be altered when necessary. A fixed page booklet with limited space, where you have to cross things out or stick labels over when you change your bank, etc, really isn't going to work well .

That’s a great idea.

I have more than one bank account but no life insurance. Something flexible would be good. In the mean time I might adopt the indexed notebook idea. ATM I have a section in my notes on my phone. I’ve shown my dc where but a book seems better.

Thanks for these links. The Age UK one looks good although some sections could do with more space.

What we did during covid when everyone was a bit paranoid that they could be wiped out overnight, I drafted a special email titled 'KEEP guidance in case of death' and forwarded it to my husband and two children.
It covered a lot of the same things as are in the free Age Concern book and also referred my family to an Excel spreadsheet on my computer which lists the finances.
I need to reissue the email as these things: e.g. utility providers etc don't tend to stay the same.
So whatever method you use, you need to bear in mind that it needs to be kept up to date.

Facebook keeps feeding me adverts for a product called My Estate Kit which has 3 versions and you download it after payment (not cheap). It claims that it tells your relatives what to do and when rather than them having to go hunting around the house for what they need. Even if you get a solicitor to act for you, you still have to provide them with all the items and information. A solicitor who searches the house on your behalf would be very expensive indeed, if such a person even exists.
This kit would still need to be kept up to date so I am not sure whether my email method is not more efficient.

Do make a will and when you get a bit older Power of Attorney as well.

Yes I have one. I thibk its good to plan how you would like thibgs done. Ive got one that says 'I put the FUN in Funeral'

You can download it and print it off yourself. You could add an extra sheet if you needed more space. Its free at least.

I did, but I misplaced it before I could even look inside.
I bought it to write down passwords for everything, what and how bills come in and are paid, online subscriptions and services to cancel, where certain things are stored, like our will and other papers.

I bought my mum something similar for xmas, but it’s called “fuck it, I’m dead!!”. She’s using it to write her final wishes, where things are, what her husband might need help with if she dies first. Funeral details. Bank and insurances etc. She’s also added notes and advice for me and my children (she’s very close to them). And I know she’s been brutally honest with these notes. I think it’s helped her deal with any family issues between us all and given her some control over her own death. Also, it’s a keepsake that I presume will be left to me, albeit a very morbid one!!!!

I thought it was going to be one of those novels written by the dead person.

It sounds a really good idea. I mean, I’ve told my dc where our will is, but there is so much more than just that.

My partner died 5 weeks ago and believe me when I say everyone should leave instructions in the event of their death. It's been really tricky to find things like bank passwords and important information and he left no actual funeral instructions so I had to just do the best I could. What you want your funeral to be is really important and if possible leave enough money to pay for it 😞.

This is the one I printed out last year and planned to complete, but still haven't 🤦‍♀️

I'm so sorry to hear that @Barney16 thank you for coming on and sharing that, it does rather prove the point that stuff like this is helpful to those left behind.

You shouldn't need to leave passwords for financial and bank accounts, its not legal to access them. You should know the account numbers and types, and contact the institutions bereavement service.
However I think it's useful for people,to be able to access your emails, so they can unsubscribe, deal with any issues, unexpected people contacting you etc. And I'm going to write a list of people to tell that I've died, my husband would know, but what if we died together in an accident? My family wouldn't know about friends, clubs etc. And to note that one person can tell the others in a group e.g. tell Cedric to let the university friends group know.

Good points. I agree that the situation is more acute were you to die together so two versions of instructions is a good idea.

I got mine from Temu too. I got it but I have not actually started writing in it yet. ATM I have a page of A4 on my computer with information on.

Acc numbers/passwords

I always say this on these threads - when someone dies their account is frozen and you should not be accessing it. If you will need money available on their death, have it in your own account in your own name.

Passwords to get into laptops etc. is different, but remember some may have stored passwords for things that should get locked down.

Age uk do a free version which I’ve got

Free download on Age UK website will cover all you need.

But it's it editable to make spaces bigger? Because the hard copy version is pretty useless if you've got more than one bank account, for instance. And has sections that I don't need.

I want an editable download so I can make as much space as I need for various information.

Just downloaded it, and it isn't editable

Who only has two digital subscriptions, for starters? And that's just the first page.

Ask chatgpt to put together a handbook for you.
I'd you explain you have adjd and need it chunked then chatgpt could break it down into bits for you to make it easier

I'm so truly sorry.. virtual hugs..

My ex husband was a hoarder and kept every piece of paperwork. It made life difficult when he died, as the children didn't know what was or wasn't relevant. I still think they've missed some things. I didn't want that to happen in my case, so I got a notebook and wrote down everything. Names, reference numbers, addresses, policy numbers, bank accounts, NHS and NI number, you name it I've written it down. It did take me a long time but I did it a bit at a time and I'm so glad I did.

I've got one but not started filling it in yet as worried about security tbh. Writing down passwords, bank account details etc etc. If I got broken into, it would be a nightmare. I'm not sure whether to even start, but I do like the idea of it.

Oops. Sorry. This appears to be a duplicate.

Ask chatgpt to put together a handbook for you.
If you explain you have adhd and need it chunked then chatgpt could break it down into smaller bits for you to make it easier to accomplish.