How to give cash at a wedding

[TheChaffinch]

Going to a nephew's wedding soon. They are a lovely young couple, it's quite a low key event and when I asked about gifts they said they didn't want anything.
It's true they have a home and everything they need but I would like to give money at least then they can buy something.
I don't really want to ask for bank details but I also feel just putting a few hundred pounds in a card it might get lost on the day.
Any suggestions as to how it's done?
I don't think I have such a thing as a cheque book any more.

Hand it to the groom he usually has an inside pocket that’s what they did at my wedding (if there’s no box)

Cash in a card is honestly fine. We said no need for gifts either. I'd have liked a card alone but a lot didn't even do that 😅

My daughter got married last year and they had a postbox at the reception for all the cards to go in. They actually had over £4000 in cash in their cards and was very grateful for it so cash is still very much accepted in the cards.

@Hayfield123 That’s utterly bizarre. DD says after going to nearly 40 weddings she’s never seen that. Every single person has a present list and guests don’t have to give anything! A post box is presumably chosen because they think people will bring cards and post money but is this cultural? It’s alien to dd and she’s not doing that. There’s a link to the gift company via the RSVP web page. It’s completely optional.

@MeetMeOnTheCorneri suspect your DD is just the oblivious type. 40 weddings too? Every wedding but one I’ve been to had a box to drop your cards in. It’s usually next to the guest book, or does she not see those either? 😅

OP just give them the card and say “there’s something in there for you both”. Trust me, they won’t lose it

Every wedding I've been to, including my own had a wedding post box for people to put cards in. Its safe and secure and a family member or the bride and groom take it home at the end of the night. Its the norm to just give cash in a card id say. The only person to give us it early was my hudbands cousin because it was £1000 and they felt a bit uncomfortable leaving that. Most other cards were just £100.

I recently got married. People gave us a mixture of cash and cheques. The only trouble with some of the cheques, they were in our joint married name. I had to go to the bank and physically change my account into my new name. Something to bear in mind, not everyone takes on their DH name or has a joint account! Maybe ask, who the cheque needs to be payable to?

Most weddings nowadays, where I live anyway, will have a postbox / box for cards with a lid and padlock that the cards are all placed in and I guess you pretty much just trust that no one will take it. I understand the hesitancy of this though if you aren't used to it. I would probably drop it off at their house if I felt worried about it or do a bank transfer if they live a distance away and that's not possible.

I've probably been to about 20-25 weddings and at these weddings cash in a card that's then placed in a post box is the norm. There were two exceptions to this, 1 where they had an online gift list and another where you could contribute to a giving style page for their honeymoon. Both of those weddings were around 4/5 years ago, all recent ones have been cash in a card.

In terms of whether it's cultural or not, all weddings I've attended have been in Scotland, mostly NE Scotland.

I put it in a card and hand it to them or someone like chief bridesmaid so she keeps it safe.

I would just put cash in a card if you are taking it to the wedding give it to the brides mum or somebody, my Dd had a locked postbox at her wedding that her bridesmaid looked after, there might be a locked box.

@AliceMcKyou can pay a cq in online with most accounts, no need for a bank visit.

Pop the money in a card and post it in their letter box the week before or after.

@Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain And when the chief bridesmaid gets drunk?! What then? Or they just have dc? Quite simply don’t do it.

I once gave a family member a photo frame engraved with a line from their first dance song and nice new matching £50 notes (the bank teller looked them out for us) folded into heart shapes and put in the frame. Actually looked quite pretty. But it was before £50s were plastic notes, not sure how well they would fold now.

Slightly off topic but I think these days it would be so good if invites included a note along the lines of, after marriage we will use only use/ or use hyphenated names/take whoever’s name/etc. Many don’t like to assume and there are so many variations now.

All major banks allow you to deposit cheques in apps

Can you pay cheques in at cash machines? I hadn't had to for a while but it used to be possible.

Yes you can feed them into teller, i just did it last week Dh got a refund for something and they sent a cheque.

Sorry i misread I thought you were asking a question ignore me 😳😀

We always do cash in cards for weddings, we use £50 notes so you can give a substantial amount it and look less obviously cash filled that way.
Every wedding I’ve been to there’s either a gift table somewhere near the cake or a postbox/wishing well type cardboard construction for cards.

Also for anyone receiving cheques and have no local bank branch, I’m sure you can pay them in now at post offices everywhere. We have a few post offices that are now in local corner shops etc which are far closer than any of our actual bank branches. I don’t receive cheques but recently was given a load of cash I didn’t want, just trotted 10 minutes up the road to the post office counter and paid it in that way.
Sorry for teaching you to suck eggs if you were already aware!

Bank draft of cheque if posting I think. It's hardly a big drama, it's still much easier than going present shopping. The recipient is hardly going to begrudge having to go to a bank or an ATM that scans them to get their money. I also think cash in an envelope on the day is OK and have done this. However personally I didn't like getting cash, being handed an envelope in the middle of your own wedding is awkward. It needs to be minded and immediately put in a safe, i think its traditionally the best man's job but it means someone is running up and down to a safe and worrying about theft etc. I'd prefer a cheque.

I'd definitely ask for bank details in advance rather than take cash on the day. Or give them cash in advance of the wedding day.

Probably one of those machines inside the branch (where they exist).

Banks issue cheques.
Pay for a bank cheque if you want security.

Otherwise suggest to their folks that they have a locked "wishing well" box tethered to a pole and available for guests to post cards and money. Someone needs to take charge of it's contents.

Cheques are the safest.