It's sad that this was a surprising interaction?

[Birthdayfeel]

I went to the pub last night, they have a TV in the garden and it was nice to escape my boiling hot house and still warch the game (France v Morocco)...and do some people watching.

It wasn't busy. There was a single French woman eating sticky toffee pudding, a large family group with a toddler sitting at the far end of the large beer garden, half a dozen young Eastern European men, not really watching the football but chatting quietly, a French family, and a man with a young teen boy. They had good English, the boy's unaccented, but between themselves were speaking an accent I didn't recognise. They looked just like a middle class Englishmen.

Anyway setting the scene, a eclectic group enjoying the cool and watching a (boring) game of football.

The toddler was running round and round the garden. Plenty of space, no bother to anyone. At one point he fell, like they do, at the feet of the man with the boy. The man picked him up and stood him back on his feet. The toddler was wimpering a bit and the man sat him on his lap until mum arrived from the bottom of the garden to take over, all smiles and thank yous.

It was nice, just people looking out for each other and being kind, but I don't think I know any British men who would have "risked" picking up a stanger's child like that, and I think I know a few British families who would object if they did?

He did a lovely kind thing but I'm not sure what his nationality had to do with it

Well, I guess there are probably cultural differences over whether you touch other people's kids, but should there be? I once rescued someone's small child from being shut in a chest freezer in a big Curry's. His big brother (I think) had done it & was sitting on the lid. So I went over, told his brother to get off, and then lifted the poor kid out of the freezer; he was just sat there, didn't even try to scramble out when I opened it. Anyway, the kid's parents then steamed in from the far end of the shop, swearing, shouting "Did you touch my kid?!!" demanding the police be called and for me to be detained (by the Curry's staff!) until they arrived. I honestly wondered was I caught up in some weird reality-tv "gotcha". Anyway I left (with my own crying kids going, are you going to jail, Dad?). These guys were like, cartoonishly white (red-faced) British working class (btw I'm white British working class but probably more middle than working now). But we can't let worries about parents high on self-righteousness stop us from being human beings.

Relevant because it's not something you see everyday in UK, and most Brits wouldn't feel comfortable picking up a stranger's child?

Hmm i do feel a woman would but maybe not a man? I just asked dh and he said he would think twice about helping a child in need just in case the parents did think he had nefarious intentions. But I think I (woman) would pick the child up or at least help them to their feet if the parent wasn't around. Maybe hold their hand to walk around and help them find a parent.
I do agree with you it's a shame that a few men have ruined it for everyone else though haven't they? If paedophilia wasn't a thing, this wouldn't even be a question would it?
Eta - dh is not british

The game was a surprising bore wasn’t it

I think most people would have picked the toddler up and put him back on his feet, but wouldn't have sat him on their lap - that's the bit people would be understandably worried would be misinterpreted.

I was at a lake with my teenage boys a couple of years ago and a toddler was alone on some rocks, slightly hidden from the pathway by scrub/ tall plants - the toddler was howling and my boys instinctively ran ahead to him but the older one who got there first shouted for me to come and pick him up and then stood between him and the water to stop him falling in (my younger one also got the before me and crouched next to him which for some reason - probably surprise - stopped the crying). As it was I got there just before his mum arrived on a bicycle with an even smaller child in a seat on the back and held the bicycle while she retrieved the toddler. She thanked us and didn't say anything untoward, and we left.

My boys wanted to help and went to the child without thinking, but they also didn't pick him up. In the end none of us did but I probably would have, and taken him a few metres from the water to somewhere more visible for parents searching for him, if he'd still been howling and his mum hadn't turned up.

I'd have picked him up, taken his hand and gone to look for his parents. If I was accused of an ulterior motive then I'd have told them to keep him nearer to them.

Well, we're really scraping the bottom of the barrel, perhaps we're even under it, to bash British people now... Really quite sad....

Really? I wasn't bashing anyone. I was commenting on the fact that this felt unusual.

No doubt that it was (I’m sure) a caring act and I’m glad that it was received well, but as a woman and mother I wouldn’t have done this, I wouldn’t sit any stranger’s child on my lap. I’d have definitely helped him back up and probably knelt down next to him until a parent came over, or stood up and waved to them to let them know that their child was with me

To be honest, I’m childless but I’d have picked up the child and cuddled them if it was obvious their mum wasnt there, until mum got back.

The mother clearly wasnt paying attention to her child so the man stepped in to help. Supposing he hadn't done so and the child wandered into the road, who would be to blame?
He just did the right thing at the right time.
I myself had to marshal a small toddler back into a charity shop recently. The child had already been ushered back in by the parents, then they turned their backs once again and the child was on the way out again. Parents didnt seem overly concerned and the child was about 2 🙄

Even when I was a kid, my dad got my mum to help with kids-like when a youngster not from our neighbourhood was running past. It's dangerous, because the kid could have been run over in the time he yelled for her!
It is terrible that we have created this society. And that was obviously long after Myra Hindley, Mary Bell etc, so he shouldn't have been stupid enough to think women are necessarily safer than men,

Tbf women are many many times safer than men.

Oh gosh this has reminded me of the time I was in a pub garden and the woman on the next table was engrossed in her phone and hadn’t noticed her two little boys rolling around on the floor fighting, one was strangling the other to the point he had gone blue, I leaped up and shouted quickly to her what was happening. She was furious with me, gave me a right mouthful! But that child could easily have died 🙁

Statistically women are many multiple times more likely to be safe than men.

That is no reflection on the fact most men are safe and some women aren't.

I think many people would have picked up a child who fell over , especially if they had their own child with them and the parents were close by.

There was a single French woman eating sticky toffee pudding
I thought all French women existed on coffee and cigarettes because it helps them stay tres teeny tiny 🤔