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Original poster

Is it my dog's time to go? Please help me make the decision.

43 replies

Suspicioustoenails · 09/07/2026 10:36

I absolutely want to do the best for my dog.
Is it time to make The Decision?

  • 16 years and 1 month old
  • multiple liver tumours diagnosed 2 years ago, since then vet ruled out medication.
-blood tumors, most noticeably on head, large, probably itchy, vet advised scrupulous cleaning which we do, and sometimes antibiotics because it smells really bad. ( Antibiotics not making difference anymore though)
  • very, very I mean very anxious around food. Still eating a lot, but I've been reading this morning that this could actually be a negative because his body is panicking for food, not because he's enjoying it.
  • pants a lot. Whines sometimes.
  • still controls his bladder and bowels
-mobility not bad for his age, though obvious arthritis in legs , much stiffer gait . -will enjoy short walks
  • sleeping a lot, though I m questioning just how peaceful his sleep is ( breathes regularly, but very loudly, so maybe that is sign of discomfort too)
-does some " head pressing" when I cover his ears, just read about this today, seems like it indicates some head pain -lives with another younger dog, will get up and bark if she is barking

I've been vigilant for a while, but today am really questioning if it's time. If he is in too much stress during rest of the day to compensate short walks.

Please be honest with me
What would you do?

OP posts:
WillThingsEverBeFergaliciousAgain · 09/07/2026 10:39

Its going to be hard for anyone here to help you decide, you have loved him for his entire life, so you will make the right choice for him.

I do really agree with people who say that its better to let them go a day too early than a day too late though.

Im so sorry, its such a crappy decision to make.

ImPamDoove · 09/07/2026 10:40

It’s hard to know. I’d probably think if he’s eating and drinking and continent and still going for walks, I’d keep him going for now.

HelenaWilson · 09/07/2026 10:42

I always think that if you're at the point of wondering whether it's time, it probably is time.

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Dogs
HotJuneSummerNights · 09/07/2026 10:43

I’m very much a “better a day too early rather than a day to late” sort of dog owner. But I reality it’s a harder decision than you think it’s going to be. It’s so hard to say goodbye.

Is this the first you’ve considered that it might be time to say goodnye? Have you had a chat with your vet about realistically how much pain they might be in?

it’s a blessing to give them a longer life through veterinary care. I feel it’s equally important not to accidentally give them a longer death.

All the best. Take care.

Original poster
Suspicioustoenails · 09/07/2026 10:44

WillThingsEverBeFergaliciousAgain · 09/07/2026 10:39

Its going to be hard for anyone here to help you decide, you have loved him for his entire life, so you will make the right choice for him.

I do really agree with people who say that its better to let them go a day too early than a day too late though.

Im so sorry, its such a crappy decision to make.

Thank you so much.
I know it's hard to say without seeing him, I guess I just want to try and get objective views.

Given his age I've obviously been thinking for a while, but today I feel like it's just moved so much closer.
Reading about how his extreme food anxiety is a negative and not a healthy appetite... and just constantly wondering now.

OP posts:
summitfever · 09/07/2026 10:45

Ask yourself are you keeping him here for your benefit at this point or do you think he’s still genuinely enjoying his retirement? If the dogs not having a good time then that’s your answer. If he’s chilling and enjoying everyone’s company still, there’s merit in keeping going.

Original poster
Suspicioustoenails · 09/07/2026 10:45

HelenaWilson · 09/07/2026 10:42

I always think that if you're at the point of wondering whether it's time, it probably is time.

This is what I have heard 😓

OP posts:
Nousernameideaaga · 09/07/2026 10:47

Can you talk to the vet who knows your dog about the things you have read?

Sending lots of love 😢 xxx

shaleand · 09/07/2026 10:49

Do you think he’s enjoying his life? Or is it more suffering than happiness at this point? You know him best

Original poster
Suspicioustoenails · 09/07/2026 10:50

summitfever · 09/07/2026 10:45

Ask yourself are you keeping him here for your benefit at this point or do you think he’s still genuinely enjoying his retirement? If the dogs not having a good time then that’s your answer. If he’s chilling and enjoying everyone’s company still, there’s merit in keeping going.

Genuinely enjoying his retirement...gosh this really hit home.
No, I don't think he is .
I think he enjoys small portions of the day, but my question is whether he's had enough the rest of the day.

I'm so torn because there's moments that I think he's not ready to go, and then I worry he's probably suffering more than I realise.
😓

OP posts:
Original poster
Suspicioustoenails · 09/07/2026 10:51

shaleand · 09/07/2026 10:49

Do you think he’s enjoying his life? Or is it more suffering than happiness at this point? You know him best

This is the point I'm at today.

Seriously questioning if he's suffering too much.
If only they could speak.

OP posts:
Topseyt123 · 09/07/2026 10:54

I'm sorry. I've been through this three times with two dogs and a cat. It was a decision that never got any easier.

Hard for us to judge, but you know your dog best. I too think that if you are starting to question whether it is time or not then it either is, or it is fast approaching. Only you can make the final decision, and that is never an enviable position to be in.

I am sorry again. It is so hard.

Butteredtoast55 · 09/07/2026 10:54

I'm so sorry that you're having to make such a hard decision but I also think, from your OP, that it's time to let him go peacefully and surrounded by love.
There are signs that he's in distress even though in other ways he seems to be coping, and you don't want to prolong that distress if it's only going to get worse. However, I'm aware that's only a stranger on MN's opinion....do you have a trusted friend or family member who can help you decide? Sending love and support.

Lomonald · 09/07/2026 10:55

I read on here, better a day too soon than a day too late, which i thought made sense.

I probably would have a dog like you are describing PTS soon, it is a horrendous decision but dogs hide so much that you don't want to wait till they are so ill that they can't eat or drink. Take care it isn't an easy decision.

BoldAquaOP · 09/07/2026 10:58

I think it’s sounds like it’s time
i lost my dog last year and it’s devastating, I feel for you.
sometimes it’s the kinder thing even though we will hurt after

Lomonald · 09/07/2026 10:58

Have you spoken to your vet ? With our last dog we had a phone consultation with the veterinary nurse before we decided, she was very kind and of course they can't decide for you but it helped us get our thoughts out.

hairbearbunches · 09/07/2026 10:59

OP, I think you know already. It is one of the hardest things you'll ever do, having that power and control over something that has been so important to you and given you so much love and affection. It's your one last gift to your dog to allow him to slip away peacefully.

I always like to think of Winnie the Pooh's wisdom in this scenario...'how lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard'.

They don't ever leave you, they live on in your heart and come back to you every day.

Be brave. 16 years old is a marvellous age for a four legged doggy friend.

💐xx

DramaAlpaca · 09/07/2026 11:12

OP, I'm so sorry. This is really tough. It's such a hard decision to make isn't it?

Honestly though, from what you've said I think it's time. A peaceful end is the best gift you can give him at this stage.

Sending love.

InOverMyHead84 · 09/07/2026 11:13

Sadly. Sounds like it's time.

Gonk123 · 09/07/2026 11:14

I think when you start asking the. You kinda reluctantly know it’s time. I spoke to the vet at that point and they didn’t try and stop me which said everything…

Tel12 · 09/07/2026 11:17

I'm so sorry. All I can say is that in your shoes last year I kept my promise to my dog that I wouldn't let her suffer. Hardest thing I've ever done. Better a week too early than a day too late. Xxx

estrogone · 09/07/2026 11:20

My darling boy was similar last year - same age.

I had him at the vet for a quality of life assessment and he was just OK. In the end he went downhill over a few days and we had him put to sleep in what I feel were not the best circumstances. I had to carry him im and he was very poorly.

I regret that.

ItsPickleRick · 09/07/2026 11:22

I am so very sorry you’re facing this.

I had my beautiful boy PTS in March at 14 years old. I am firmly in the “better a week too soon than a day too late” camp, it was the deal we made right at the beginning - we gave each other a lifetime of love and happiness, and I made the kindest decision for him at the end.

We used a private vet. He was at home, being fed his favourite foods and surrounded by love.

It does sound like it’s time OP x

Thehorticulturalhussie · 09/07/2026 11:22

From what you have said I think it's time to let him go peacefully, with someone who he loves and trusts. Dogs hide huge amounts of pain until they simply can't and it is in our gift to cut that short, it's the final act of kindness for a loved and loyal friend. I'm very sorry. Been there myself.

averylongtimeago · 09/07/2026 11:23

I’m so sorry, dogs can’t tell you when it’s time. We have had to make this horrible decision several times over the years, it’s never easy.
Dogs are good at hiding when they are in pain, they will carry on doing things because they want to please you.

Let him go, while he still has some quality of life.
Our old golden retriever died at home, in her favourite spot, in my arms. The vet visited at home by arrangement, he was very kind and it was very peaceful. She just slipped away. Stay with your dog, they know you are there, and trust you.

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