How can I make mum friends when everyone seems exhausted at baby groups?

[Goatscheese21]

I’m super new to an area (literally moved a month before baby was born) so 5 months ago now. I’m starting to go to baby groups and there are some very sweet like minded mothers that I’ve chatted to - a few already come with another friend.

The thing is no one seems to ‘ branch out’ and ask for anyone’s number to grab a coffee or something in the future. I assume we are all probably completely exhausted and I’m often running on baby brain when I’m there which is probably why I find it so hard to string a sentence to ask them myself. They are probably feeling the same.

how can I break the ice? I can’t believe I’m even asking this! I’m usually sociable and not socially awkward but postpartum I don’t realise how tired I am until I mingle with other adults that isn’t my husband!

it would be nice to just make a ‘friend’ round here. I’ve made friends with my neighbour who’s 60 and we go out to farm shops and have coffee but it would be nice to find someone more similar in age!

Have you asked for anyone’s number for coffee? Maybe they are waiting for you to branch out…

be brave, get the ball rolling x

Have you suggested exchanging numbers or going for a coffee?

Very often, they’ll be thinking the same thing and it just needs one of you to be the confident one to make it happen.

Take it steady and see it as a long game. You want the right friends, that takes time.

It's great you have your neighbour, does it really matter about age?

Keep going to groups, don't apply pressure, let natural friendships evolve.

You’re right and no not at all! She is SO great but I realise she has her own friends her own age and maybe just having another ‘option’ for myself might be good so to speak!

I found it easier to ask if they wanted to do a thing straight after the group. Sort of a "what are your plans for the rest of the day? Fancy doing xyz before you head home?"

Will the groups stop over the summer?
If they do, ask for some numbers before they stop and suggest some meet ups during the break. Either small get together at the park/coffee shop or may be ask someone individually if there is someone you think you would get on with.

Yes they do! That is a great idea thank you

When I went to baby group one of the instructors wasn’t happy that my NCT group was there so there was 7 of us and 3 who didn’t know each other. She made a big speech about people being left out and then gave us 10 minutes to ‘chat to someone we haven’t met before’… it was a bit awkward as I felt she was suggesting we were cliquey, which wasn’t true - we were just exhausted/wrapped up in our unruly crawlers… however, the 10 mins was a nice idea. Maybe ask the instructor if she could arrange a 5 minute ‘chat and try to know each other’ at the start of a session.

edit to add- some classes are better than others to meet people. Personally I find playgroups easier to meet people than classes!

Just try ‘do you fancy grabbing a quick coffee after this’ to someone you feel would be easy to talk to. Or suggest it for the following week if that feels too spontaneous. I also found baby groups tricky, good luck!

I always used to say/others used to say that they were going to grab a Costa straight after if the other person fancies. It was low threat and if the person declined you wouldn’t usually ask again 😂 but once we’d done it once it often used to turn into a weekly routine x