How to deal with this - DC making house too hot

[Bubblebathbefore8]

How to handle this? During the last heatwave my DC (13) used my bedroom and bathroom- leaving it in a way that meant when I went to bed later my bedroom was 33c - in extreme heat we are vigilant and ways to keep house bareable/giving us a chance to sleep, they disregarded this. I had tried so hard to keep house cool. I went mental, my DH told me I was over reacting, but we barely slept because of heat.

fast forwarded to today, my DH had an accident at work a few days ago, had surgery, finally home tonight, the UK temperature is high again, I’ve kept house as cool as possible, Dc used bathroom, I reminded them not to repeat situation, instead they showered, didn’t open blinds, didn’t turn fan on and I discover a bedroom temperature of 29c - it was 25c in there when I went up earlier and it should have been reducing gradually, so DH (their Dad) straight from hospital, surgery is now struggling to sleep, in High temperature that I made such an effort to avoid.

Im not proud that I shouted, I tried to stop myself from crying, I’m fucking exhausted and now probably won’t sleep. The DC in question is a good one, not naughty, I dont want to harm them by being angry, they feel guilty at wrong doings, will knock their confidence. It sounds like nothing but not sleeping due someone else’s carelessness isn’t good, tonight it’s a medical thing, I’m kind on duty to physically help DH - who is pretty mashed up and I work full time. Yes we would love aircon, South East England.

Unclench OP. Teenagers are not renowned for their thoughtfulness. How hot can they realistically have made it unless they stated a fire in there?

I get it’s frustrating but surely you can now open the windows and let the cooler air flow in and it will cool down. It’s not worth being this angry over (and I say that as someone with teens who are selfish and I also have autoimmune issues which mean I can’t cope with the heat)!

Don't let them use that bathroom again? I'm assuming it's an en suite if it's impacting the bedroom temperature?

But really OP, a teenager being thoughtless and their parent shouting at them is very normal! I don't think you need to worry about harming them or knocking their confidence. Just ban them from that bathroom or make them shower in the morning.

And sleep downstairs if upstairs is too hot.

I dont think the night temperatures are as hot as they were at the last heatwave (although nay depend where you are). The house should cool down easier at night.
It was malicious or on purpose just typical not thinking teens.
If you cant cool the room back down then sleep downstairs or swap with the teen. Being cross won't help your temperature

@Bubblebathbefore8 call me old-fashioned but I think it's perfectly fine to shout at a teenager who's done an inconsiderate thing. Please don't worry about that.

if they were using your ensuite, then tell them they are not allowed to use it until further notice.

It is horrendous in my flat tonight, so I do feel your pain. I hope your DH recovers well

What an over reaction. Unless your DC was roasting chestnuts in your bedroom, you need to calm down. What is it with all these posts of people losing it with their DC.

We can’t sleep downstairs due to DH injuries, bed down there ls too low for a body cast. He needs our bed, help turning and help with toilet visits.

we have all windows open, my bedroom is still 28c - before the DC used our room it was cool enough to sleep.

it’s not just using using the ensuite, it’s various things but tonight it was taking a 30 minute shower, then leaving ensuite door open to bedroom, without turning a fan on or opening any/bathroom window, literally introducing the sauna to the bedroom, the bedroom that they knew that their Dad needed to sleep in

It does sound selfish and unthiking and I can see why you wpuld shout. But it presumably wasn't done on purpose.
Stop them using th ensuite from now on (i presume you have a main bathroom) even if they prefer the ensuite
Hopefully you all cool down soon

Have they put the heating on?
I can’t see how otherwise they were the source of the problem so much. It sounds like your bedroom is getting really hot anyway and you need to think how to tackle this problem.
I think you are under a lot of stress due to what happened with DH and just can’t handle any extra pressure - and it’s understandable. Hope he’ll get better soon and you get chance to relax a bit, don’t worry about shouting I even did swearing towards mine a couple of time - it happens.
By the way our bedroom is get really hot so we put two fans on the window later it night and it helps to cool room down quicker.

How are they responsible for the heat? Showering isn't going to make a noticeable difference.

Massive overreaction on your part tbh. I think you're blaming DC for it being hot, when it's not their fault.

Who on earth keeps a check of this type of shit? Are they your kids?

I mean a relatively easy solution would be to ask them, when they're done, if they've opened the windows and closed the door. No?

I think you're probably overreacting a bit, but the heat is so oppressive that it's kind of understandable.

I hope you managed to get some sleep

Just don't let them use the en suit from now on.

I don't think you're over reacting. You reminded them before they went in. It doesn't matter whether they knew the first time or would be able to take the initiative. They were told before they had a shower not to leave it open to your bedroom.

People's behaviour only changes when it affects them, so now they don't use the ensuite for the rest of the week as they can't be trusted. If that means a flannel bath or whatever is available in the rest of the house then so be it. Next time he more considerate and listen to what you're told.

It's going to drop significantly overnight this week, so the heat will dissipate if you open all the windows and let the warmer air out. Crank the fan up, have a cool shower, take a breath. The full body cast on OH sounds stressful, but the teen is just teenagering, and not opening a window post shower isn't the biggest sin in the book. Try to concentrate on what they did well today.

Well, they were inconsiderate and the consequence was a big telling off - sounds reasonable to me. Hopefully they will remember next time to open the windows etc

if these incidents are caused by using the en suite, then surely you just ban them from using it. you say they're a good kid, so they'll abide by the ban. otherwise you'll be coming in WHILST they're in there to turn fan etc on and shower off.
assume they have a decent bathroom they can otherwise use.

Showering does noticeably warm up rooms!! After bathing or showering young DC our bathroom is unbearably warm when it was tolerable before.

Stop DC from using the en-suite in a heat wave.

You are exhausted and worried. But your DC is just being thoughtless. I'd speak to them to say that if this happens again then they don't use your ensuite at all. Part of growing up is recognising that you have to look after each other and you are not being unreasonable by asking them to think.

If it happens again they don't use the ensuite.

We have a couple of fans on in our bedrooms overnight which really does help us sleep

Wet a sheet and hang it between your DH and a breeze from window or fan. Regularly sponge bathe DH with cold water. Sleep as low to the floor as practical and consider sleeping in a different room or on the back porch.

Drink water.
Consider booking a couple of nights at a hotel with excellent air con. if your husband really needs to sleep to recover.

If he’d been told not to do it and then immediately did the same thing again, then it’s reasonable to have words! That’s very inconsiderate and needs some sort of consequence, whether that’s not using the en suite again, being bollocked a bit etc etc

What was their justification for doing the same thing again immediately after being told not to?!

Tell the kids to use the other bathroom

Keep the ensuite door shut, leave the window opened and it will cool down.

In the meantime, ice pack on neck and ankles, it's a nice way to cool down.

Stick large warning signs re. the heat being let in by DS all over the room,
en suite etc.

Why is this DC using the en-suite? Do you not have another functioning bathroom? If so, surely the answer is to ban them using your en-suite if they can't be considerate? Why is s/he having a half hour hot shower anyway when it's so hot???

Don't feel guilty! My mum would have gone mad at me for this, and definitely not have felt bad about shouting at the very least. Everyone I know would have been doing all they could to help their parents in this situation.