Would friends with flexible work and frequent trips away start to grate?

[Suitplace]

We're both 50s.

He's comfortably placed because he never married and doesn't have DC, so has never had any financial ties and always low outgoings. He's SE and works as much as he needs to to fund his lifestyle, picking and choosing the better paid jobs. If I'd met him when we were young I can't see that we'd have "settled down" together, but as a fun companion to have adventures with in middle age, he'll do nicely.

I do OK financially because I was a fairly high earner but always lived well within my means, and now my mortgage is paid off and DC are adults, I do a few hours a week, which can be as flexible as I like.

We don't live together and never will.

The flexible working means it seems like we work even less then we do. E.g. we finsihed at lunchtime on Friday, went away for the weekend, got back yesterday evening, he went home to do a few bits ready for the work week and I logged on and worked until midnight, ready to watch the football. Then we slept until mid morning. I'll check emails and make sure nothing has happened I need to deal with this afternoon, but don't need to be fully in work mode until Weds. DP has a big piece of work Thurs/Fri which will pay an "average" weekly wage.

So, we're fortunate, and we know that, but we've also seen opportunities and taken them and we choose to live fairly simply at home to enable trips away and a relaxed working life. I can't speak for him, but also I worked really really hard for the first 3 decades of my working life to be in this position now.

In all that chats about who did/didn't watch the football and how we're all coping today, we have had a lot of "it's all right for those who don't need to work", and it's starting not to feel affectionate!

I don't think we brag about our lifestyle, we only answered questions. Would friends like us annoy you?

Not if I liked them

Well, it depends how you worded it and what their lifestyles are, presumably your friends know what yours is like. I probably wouldn't have mentioned staying in bed till mid morning if they are for example teachers or people who had to be on a commuter train at 7am. But might have said "luckily we aren't too busy work-wise today".

No - friends like yours would annoy me with their little passive aggressive digs. I'd have had to respond with 'We're in this position thanks to different choices made over the years.

I'm retired at 60, mostly because I worked sodding hard, raised my kids, lived very frugally and still do so. I paid off a mortgage on a cheap property and have a private pension of £15k a year which covers the bills and DH has only got his state pension (he is almost 70 and spent 50 years SE)

I have friends who earned far more than me and are still working - but they had the Florida and Bahamas holidays, the new cars and the Jones' to keep up with. I live on little - so if I want to sit up and watch England play (I didn't actually because I was too tired when they put it back to 2am) then I can.

Because I didn't have to get up at 6.15am after 40 years of doing so.

No it wouldn’t annoy me. I’m in my 40s with young kids and most of my circle has the flexibility you have.

I think WFH has really changed the working world in the last six years and millions have flexibility that was unheard of 15 years ago.

I probably would count my blessings and not go on about it too much.

I don't think we go on about it. In fact I can't think of any situation when I've raised the subject, but friends do know when we've been away or if we have a day out during the week because these things come up in conversation.

I have a friend similarly placed, with the flexible work and the frequent trips.

The only thing that gets on my tits is the constant stream of facebook posts about where they are this week, the hotel, the pool, the beach, plates of food, views from plane windows/hotel balconies ad infinitum.

Enough already.

I can't say I never post. I like to use FB a bit like a diary, but I do make a point of one post per trip, a summary at the end, rather then thrice daily updates!

I'm one of those rare people who really don't care what others do, think etc.

So, you wouldn't annoy me and I wouldn't comment because I wouldn't care to compare you to me.

Glad you have the freedom to do as you please! It's a great position to be in!

I agree, but it's also the first or second generation where it wasn't normal to not have a mum at home, at least part-time maybe? As in, people say in the nineties that not many mums (and it was mums) worked FT when the kids were small (and the ones that did often did nearly all the house tasks and didn't get wfh, so I feel sorry for them).
OP, I'd only bother if people went on about it or were sounding spiteful.

I work for myself. I go on lots of trips. People remember - and comment on - the trips. They don’t see the times I work till midnight. Or at the weekend or all the other stress that goes with running a business.

Thank Heaven for small mercies!! The occasional photo of people enjoying their holiday is great, but as you say, several a day is way too many lol.😁

My friend also has a lot of other friends, and every time one of them likes their post or posts a comment I see it all over again, and again....... and the person they are on holiday with also posts, tagging them in it, so I see all of those posts as well.

The ones that get me are the "Here we are in the departure lounge at Heathrow again, on our way to Exotic Place". Do they never think that ne'er-do-wells will be pleased to know that their house is currently standing empty?

No, friends like you would not annoy me. You do you.

Not if they were nice people. By 50s a lot of people’s financial situations have eased.

What I sometimes find challenging is when people who work part time don’t appreciate the challenges of working full time while bringing up a family and running a house. So taking it amiss if I don’t stay the full length of a trip away or want to travel the route most convenient to me, which for me is just about saving time as I’m juggling a lot.

and it's starting not to feel affectionate!

between the two of you? I don’t understand what the issue is

Seems to me it's a case of 'only those doing less than you will criticise what you are doing.'

I would lose patience with people like this. 'Sort your life out and stop whinging about mine.' I have no friends like this. I find them mean spirited and not willing to look at their own life choices, and that is their problem.

I'm not retired yet, in fact we have taken on more in the last three years, BUT it is working out well and we are in a better position. But we have more work to do. I would not be happy about people making comments about us because they do not see the seven day working weeks, the long to do lists on my days off etc.

Your phrase, 'I worked really really hard for the first 3 decades of my working life' is slightly inflammatory, in that many people work really really hard for their entire working lives. Teachers, nurses etc. 50-60-70 hour weeks. 12/14 hour days.

I don't begrudge you anything you have. Your smugness is a bit irritating. But the attitudes of others are only an issue if you're bothered about their opinions.

We're in a phase where default is to criticise people doing okay

I'm sure sometimes it's just teasing, but I don't like it either