SO, according to my boomer mum, sending a child through uni these days is the same as it was in the 90s

[PotteringAboutIn]

Because apparently they didn't have the wages back then

Ffs
Drives me nuts

What when uni was free, accommodation wasn't anywhere near as expensive and you even got a grant

What's that Stephen Fry quote about being offended again?

"It's now very common to hear people say, 'I'm rather offended by that.' As if that gives them certain rights. It's actually nothing more... than a whine. 'I find that offensive.' It has no meaning; it has no purpose; it has no reason to be respected as a phrase. 'I am offended by that.' Well, so fucking what."

I think you knew it was a derogatory term when you used it. Otherwise you would have just said," my elderly mum".
You know full well you were using the term boomer as an in sult but you loved saying it then coming over all innocent.

My mum is 75 and genuinely doesn't think anything has changed in the last 50 years. It is infuriating.

It's interesting that millenials / gen x / gen z dont really seem to mind being labelled as such but boomers get their knickers in a twist about it

And because some of these posts seem younger generations hurl the term around as an insult.

Uni taught me independence and self sufficiency. It got me out of an abusive home life and away from my parents bigoted views and self imposed limits. I mixed with a broad range of cultures, learned so much from my course mates. It broadened my horizons immeasurably. Gave me much needed confidence and a way to flourish. Introduced me to what life should be.

My dad wanted me to be a filing clerk for a friend with a car business. I wanted to scream with boredom. Instead I escaped their life, gained a business degree, have worked all over the world, have a life that my dm wouldn't even have dreamt of.

My ds starts uni this year. He wants to be an engineer, to build offshore wind farms and hydroelectric plants. He can't do that without a degree.

I went to uni in the late 80's. I did not leave with massive debt, I don't think I even had an overdraft. I would not get my degree through uni now, I would join a degree apprenticeship. Who wants £000's of debt when you have no job at the end of it???

Your boomer DM is obvs being unreasonable. I'd just ignore her tbh no need to have an argument over it, change the subject. Her reasoning is a box of frogs...

i went to York.
1st year £27 p/w
2nd yr (house) £30
3rd yr (halls) £30
From taking to friends who’s DCs are at the same uni now, accommodation is £200 p/w plus.
All fees paid I had a grant and small loan. Came out with £6k of debt paid off fairly quickly on a low paying job.

OP it sounds like your mum is utterly deluded and nothing you can say would change her mind. Anyone who even glances at the news these days knows that university is horribly expensive and kids come out with a mountain of debt.

Mind you, you still get posters on threads about buying homes that say “well I managed to do it on blah blah blah I just didn’t get takeaways etc” then they casually mention they bought their home 25yrs ago.

Just grit your teeth and ignore.

Obviously she’s talking nonsense. When I went to uni it cost my parents 0. No fees and I got a small grant. My rent was less than half
per month than it is now per week. I spent £5 per week on food and part time jobs were easy to come by.

Uni is an expensive endeavour now. Even if there are no fees (we are lucky in Scotland), living expenses are huge.

Ignore op.

I hope English was and she can spell maths.

Your post took me right back to those days @Meadowfinch .

Thank you!

I made ends meet by working as a chamber maid and lived in a shared house that made the one in The Young Ones look like a des res. It's also worth noting that in those days sexual harassment was a given really. Girls were expected to tough it out and when I complained to my boss he told me I had to expect it as I was young and blonde!!

We didnt even have the internet

I went to uni in the late 80s. I got a grant so there was nothing to pay back and we lived in a student house with rent about £20 or £30 a week (uni in the North-East). I always had worked since I was 15 anyway, Saturday and holiday jobs. I left uni with no debt at all.

My son has just left uni (with a Masters) with £60K debt. He lived at home for the final year because his rent in a student house was about £9K a year.

Just HOW is it possible to take "money out of the equation"

In real terms, EVERYTHING is vastly more expensive with the added bonus of having to pay for the course to the tune of over 9k a year

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/tuition-fees-and-student-support-2025-to-2026-academic-year/changes-to-tuition-fees-2025-to-2026-academic-year

Back in the 90s, courses were subsidised, the students didn't have to pay course fees and were even given grants by their local authorities

Whilst I agree with your comment re degree apprenticeships, they’re in short supply, highly competitive and very hard to get. Simply nowhere near enough of them.

I disagree with Stephen.

Why should we stop being upset, annoyed, or resentful because someone has said or done something rude, disrespectful, or insensitive?

When we stop being offended by things that are offensive people with ill intent will get away with all manner of bad behaviour, stereotyping and worse.

Who thinks that being offended affords certain rights?

If I'm offended I don't expect anything - but if I'm really offended I take action.

I think if you explain why you're offended and make a compelling case for your point its different but when people just say 'I'm offended ' with the expectation that everyone else must bow and scrape to their view... well, so fucking what?

Accommodation on the south coast was £40 a week in the early 90s which equates to £120 a week now. DS is paying £500 pm for the coming year, ie, the same.

I had a partial grant and my parents topped up by around £500 a term. We're paying the rent so whilst we are contributing more, it equates to roughly £100 pm.

I'd say it's not significantly more expensive to go but you're graduating with debt that I didn't have.

Indeed. I graduated in1989. There was a huge recession in the early 90’s. I was very glad to hold on to my job through that period. Negative equity was huge.

I agree. Degree apprenticeships are a fantastic idea, but they are like hen’s teeth
and massively competitive. Companies are cutting the numbers due to financial pressures so they are becoming even harder to get. Young people are between a rock and a hard place nowadays.

£500 per month is remarkably cheap. Most uni flats seem around £200 per week these days.

Does he say that about racism or homophobia? Or is it just aimed at people he thinks it's fine to be offensive towards?

Boomer is derogatory because it's pretty much only used to imply people over 60 had it really easy, got really cheap houses and had everything handed to them on a plate - as if they had no hardships and it's somehow their fault that the COL has gone through the roof. Saying 'it must be due to certain behaviours' is like saying racism or homophobia must be due to certain behaviours - it's completely agist because how can you possibly suggest 13 million people all behave in the same way?

You can disagree with your mum OP, people are allowed different opinions, but to suggest 'all boomers' behave like one homogenous group is just offensive. My mum is still working 6 days a week at 72.

I think you just have shit parents 😂
im a boomer and my DCs have great lives, very busy, but pretty good all in

Whilst you’re at it, you can thank the successive Tory govts. from 1979 for decimating the manufacturing industries up north and starting this jobs and housing crisis.

It’s not just the fees and the accommodation costs either. I went to uni in the early 1990s on a full grant, no tuition fees and I worked in the holidays for some extra income, but that was it. I remember my accommodation costing £600 a term, leaving me about £60 from my grant for living on for that term so I needed the income from my student job.Lots of others were like me, so students were generally poor. Student bars were grotty but the beer was cheap, that was their customer base and the prices reflected what students could afford to part with. Anything provided for students tended to be basic but cheap. Fast forward 30 years now the students have loan money sitting in their accounts at the start of the year and there’s plenty of places ready to take advantage of it. At a uni my DS looked at, the uni gym membership just to use the quite basic gym, no classes and no pool was significantly more than we pay at home for a gym membership including a pool and it was touted as a student rate. And that’s before the eye watering cost of accommodation, food, utilities…

two comments from me. I am a boomer myself so it was my born between the wars parents putting me through college and yes it was a serious struggle for them. I mean yes you can do the sums and the calculations but maybe there is another truth which is for the parents it felt hard?
Secondly why on earth do you care? I mean how hard would it be for you to say something like "yes Mum it was hard for you and I am grateful"?