I've got myself in so much debt and don't know what to do.

[SoSofyDucky]

I have bad mental health issues and am on disability benefits. I have chronic depression, OCD. ptsd and am neurodiverse. I also have physical health issues alongside my mh issues.

Please. If you read this and want to stick the boot in, please don't. I know how stupid I have been.

About 10 years ago I got myself in a lot of debt with catalogues and ended up with a CCJ and couldnt get any credit for a long time which was a good thing for me because i am impulsive and have cycles of stupid behaviour where I don't care about the consequences because I don't feel like I will be around to face them and just don't care about anything.

But the CCJ must have fallen off my file and in the space of about a year or 2, with no job/income I have rack up about 18k in debt and I am just so scared.
I don't have any assets, i rent and don't have a car.

One debt is a 10k loan from mynown bank and the rest is credit cards and catalogue (the same catalogue company I got the CCJ from gave me a 2.5k account)

I just don't know what to do and want to just ignore it all. I contacted one of the credit card companies and am paying £1 a month to them and my credit score has plummeted and i just feel relief that I cant take on any more debt now as I would have just kept doing it.
I know its not right but my head isnt right. If it was I would be a normal person and not in this situation.

After paying the minimum on everything each month My income has now gone down by £600 and I feel like I just want to bury my head in the sand but I know that debt collectors will start knocking on my door and that sends me into a spiral.

I know I have been stupid and irresponsible. I am in the middle of talking therapy and have started new medication so have sort of 'woken up' to the amount of shit I am in now.

I don't even understand how I would be allowed to have so much credit with zero income :( I know its MY fault for applying but it just seems crazy

I contacted stepchange but they want all things like bank statements and stuff and because of my OCD and other MH issues I find it so hard to hand ove information like that because I think my identity will be stolen and other stupid things. Plus I am embarrassed because my spending is just stupid and ridiculous when I am in a manic/bad place and they would just say i could have been paying back the money rather than spending like I was. Which I know but again I'm not mentally well and I don't care about the consequences until i feel well again and that often sets me off into an episode again.

I feel so embarrassed and stupid and don't know how to even begin to sort this all out.

Does anyone have any advice on where I could turn for help please or what I can do.

I don't care about my credit rating at all. In fact I want it to be ruined so I can't do this again.

Can you tell Step Change about your MH and OCD issues and explain how hard it is for you to complete this step?

Is there anyone who might help you? A keyworker? A friend who is more confident and organised around money? Could they help get the paperwor together? Or call one of the companies you owe to, to avoid the debt being passed on to a collector, which would make it escalate. It is way easier for someone else to do this than you, as there's no shame attached.

Try not to be too hard on yourself, for the simple reason that it won't make the debt go away but it will make sorting it out more unpleasant, unnecessarily. Instead, tell yourself: Look at me, I am sorting this! It might take time, but this is progress. I am climbing out of debt now, not getting deeper into it.

TBH, I think debt management should be the responsibility of people who extend too much credit. CoL is so high these days. People with not much money coming in should not be encouraged to take on debt they have no way of repaying.

I’m sure citizens advice can help you here and devise a plan

Please contact CAP Christians against poverty. It's not for Christians but it means they are very compassionate. They have advisors but also volunteers that help with practical things. I hope you can get the support you need.

Agree with PP you need to speak to StepChange, the debt charity. There are loads of resources on there for managing debt and dealing with creditors. You may well be able to make an affordability complaint against a lender for irresponsible lending. There is info on their website about it and some template letters you can use: https://www.stepchange.org/debt-info/your-rights/irresponsible-lending-and-affordability-checks.aspx

If you're on tiktok have a look at thatgirlindebt. She challenged lots of lenders for irresponsibly lending to her and got some big refunds she was able to use to pay down some of her debt. She has loads of other tips and experiences that might help you.

Get a debt relief order