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Mental Health TW - Adult DD is very unwell and spiralling

5 replies

SpiderIceCream · 01/07/2026 15:24

My DD24 has had ongoing depression and mental health issues for several years. These have been relatively stable until the last 6/8 months when she started a relationship with a new female partner. Since then Dd's mental health has declined drastically...

She's self harming (something she hadn't done for a long time before this). She's threatening to end her life. Regularly has panic attacks. She also keeps disappearing for hours or sometimes days on end which involves the police coming out and searching for her

We've tried to talk to her but she won't tell us what's changed or what's wrong. Most of the time she now refuses to see us in person and our only contact is via the girlfriend or in a very short phonecall.

She's been assessed by MH services once after we insisted she went to a&e. She only agreed to go if her GF went with her and we didn't. She wouldn't cooperate with them and they said that she didn't meet the criteria for being sectioned.

I think the Gf is very controlling of her (I have seen evidence of this when we saw them together in the early stages of the relationship) and that this is contributing to Dd's MH issues. I would be happier if they split up but DD won't entertain the idea.

Can I ask for her to be reassessed by MH services (without the gf being present this time) or is there much else we can do? I feel like DD is spiralling and is only going to get worse without help

OP posts:
Petrine · 01/07/2026 16:07

It must be very worrying for you but unfortunately I doubt there's anything you can do as she is an adult.

WarmHare · 01/07/2026 21:09

The MH team can ask her if she wants to be assessed by herself & they may try to covertly ask this to your DD when Gf isn’t present, but if she ultimately wants her present during her assessment, there’s little you can do

Italiangreyhound · 01/07/2026 21:14

I am so sorry. This is so hard.

If you are feeling very stressed, you could ring the Samaritans for support for yourself, or encourage her to ring Samaritans for support for herself.

PurpleLovecats · 01/07/2026 21:28

It is quite hard to reach the threshold to be sectioned now. MIND are great for advice do it might be worth chatting to them.

CompleteUninspiredNameChange · 01/07/2026 21:51

When the police have had to come and find me before when I was in a bad place, they refused to let me leave without taking me to A&E. I don't know who had told them they had to do that. I have never been sectioned but have been under the crisis team a couple of times. The next time she goes missing would that be an option?
Does she have a community support worker? (Through GP primary mental health care). If so could you contact them and share your concerns?

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