How do couples manage shared logins and two-factor authentication?

[KomodoIsland]

Any tips for managing joint household accounts?

DH and I can both log into the joint banking - that works fine. But this week we had a wifi problem while my husband is travelling for work, and the account and passwords were all in his name. I had to impersonate him. The same is true in reverse for insurance - those are all logged in with my email account.

Now there is so much two-factor ID, this is harder to log in as someone else.

I am thinking of transferring all log-in addresses to a shared Gmail account we both access. But how to manage two-factor text messages? Has anyone cracked this?

Shouldn't you both have your own log ins?

Am I missing the obvious answer? Will BT let us have two log-ins to manage the wifi?

Just set up a neutral email for things like that which both of you have the password for.

That works until you need two-factor ID and they send a text message.

We've been married and sharing a household for almost 30 years. It recently feels more difficult than it used to. It may be that I used to hold all of this labour and in the past few years, I started to travel more for work and he had to take more of a share.

Maybe the system assumes a house-wife.

Never had this issue - all two factor requirements have allowed me to set it up with two phone numbers so you can pick which number you send it to.

DH deploys for months at a time so we both need to be able to access things we need, especially me tbh. I can even log into his email if he needs me to.

The system doesn’t “assume a housewife” 🙄 It assumes that a single account holder will have a unique email address and mobile number with which to manage their account. Increases in cyber crime mean that companies need to take additional steps to ensure that only the authorised account holder is accessing their account, not someone else (even if that someone is their spouse or partner) impersonating them. If it’s genuinely a joint account then that’s different and should obviously be set up to allow two users to set up unique sets of credentials.

Plenty of accounts are only set up for one log in and yet have moved to this text system.

we just know when we get a text with a code that we need to immediately send it to our spouse. It happens often enough we no longer ask.

It’s ridiculous that it’s not easy to have joint accounts with many companies and providers. That is how most couples operate. Changing it on their end would improve data protection.

Most of my 2FA will send the code to an email address or phone number that is registered to the account and it asks me which one I want to receive it on. Maybe put your email address and DH phone number on the account so you both have a way of accessing the account even if you can't contact each other?

It’s total shite OP, as if anyone is trying to get into your BT account to pay your bill for you! So many companies have gone nuts with this nonsense without thinking it through when it’s their own employee facing systems that are usually the weakness in pen testing. I phone DH if I need a code from his phone when he’s not around. Then he is made aware to look out for the code and pass it on before the silly message times out.

What @Ponderingwindow said.

It is really frustrating when one of us is trying to do something on a joint account and the other is out of contact for a while.
It is ludicrous that companies such as BT and Virgin can't have a systems where 2 people have equal access, when clearly it is for the home Broadbnad and all that goes with that.

Yes, this is really frustrating!

Ask BT if they'll either set up a second account holder or allow a second phone number for 2FA.

Companies really do need to be set up for this sort of thing - utilities, broadband, anything that is a household account really.

It is annoying but quite normal now. We’ve put most of the household accounts into my name/email/mobile now - and given we have 4 people in the household it means I can get random texts from the kids when home from uni [or from uni itself] to say - ‘trying to log on to Disney/Spotify etc so you are going to get sent a verification code’… have had messages previously from DH in meetings at work to ask whether me/kids are trying to log onto Apple TV or are we being hacked? Hence changing everything into my name/contact details. He got a bit annoyed with the random codes and ‘half price Tuesday’ texts from Dominos.

Yes it will, you will need to log using email address you set it up with. You can then set you up as an account manager. You’ll have your own log in and be able to do everything the account holder can. It will send an email to the registered email for them to give you authority to be an account manager

I hear you OP. I made exactly the same point on another thread recently. I was buying a movie for DC and friends and went into the app on the TV and put in the email address and password as I always do. But no, it's a new security step and an email verification link has gone to DHs phone who was overseas at a conference. Thankfully he eventually saw the msg but we wasted a lot of time and I had to deal with disappointed kids for a while. To prevent this repeating we will need to set up a joint email and then re register the account. I can guarantee it will be made as difficult as possible for us.

Just today I was onto a bank trying to gain access to a joint account, I used to log in using an app on my laptop but now it's only accessible to DHs phone. I was on hold for about 10 mins and onto a customer service agent for another 15, I finally have dual access. Because i couldn't see the account (obviously, that's the issue) i had to get DH to download and print out a number statements so I could quote transactions for security reasons, screenshots don't work either. Finally we got it resolved. It was a lot of time spent and admin for me to access something I had been accessing all along, my own account ffs.

Certainly for our joint bank accounts we have our own logins. Not tried it with the likes of insurance and internet provider.

I don't know about BT, but energy companies allow 2 logins, and banks for joint accounts. You need everything in both names.

I can't help you, but I hear you, it's really annoying.

Take a look at a password vault like Bitwarden. You can store all your single passwords in it and access via a master password. This is what I intend to do and really must get round to it.

@TheDogsMother my issue isn't the password - we both know the passwords for joint accounts / bills / companies - it is the fact they then make you enter a passcode they send to one person's phone, and it might be the other person logging in.

We've had a shared Gmail account for years, but I hear you about the 2FA only going to one phone. Luckily I don't think it happens often enough to be annoying, but you just have to make sure the other person is near their phone so they can send you the code.
I know we are probably breaking some kind of data privacy rule by sharing accounts, but you gotta do what you gotta do!

Ah ok, apologies

I've wondered this as well. It's extremely short-sighted - not only for 'standard' couples scenarios, but also for other situations. I work for a small charity and a few of us upload videos to our single YouTube account - but it seems determined to prevent more than one person being able to.

It also strikes me that this could be very ageist in reality. What if elderly people lack confidence with their tech skills and so they want to set something up with, say, an adult grandchild being able to access their account and guide/look after them?

Also, without wanting to be blunt, if I were very old, I would want an assured, reliable way for a trusted younger family member to be able to easily access all of my personal documents, photos, files, accounts, emails etc. for practical purposes and to preserve them for the family should I suddenly 'leave' in the way that very old people tend to.

It's all very well if you can get all 2FA notifications sent to a joint email address - pointless faff though it is - but I bet, before long, they'll be insisting on face or fingerprint scans to allow access... which are a bit hard to share! Meanwhile, the scammers will still find a way through - probably by scaring and co-ercing their marks into installing Anydesk, so they can see everything themselves anyway and will just get the victim to ID them in to steal whatever they can. Most security systems only ever seem to make things much more complicated and far less practical for honest people, whilst the crooks seem to manage just fine.

What troubles me is the inability to switch off if you have a partner or family. I will turn my phone off or at least silence it and keep it away if I'm out with friends. If I'm away overnight I'll check a few times a day. I'm very against phones being glued to people's hands. This creates a need to be permanently 'on' in case someone wants to do some ordinary life admin stuff when I'm out

We became increasingly aware of the number of banking apps on our phone, especially after DH had his wallet stolen on holiday (thankfully not the phone).
We now have most of the apps on old phones that are locked away and never leave the house. Still have to get the text on the main phone though. I suppose you could get a cheap SIM just for this.