How do people afford life?

[Sieveforapurse]

I'm constantly baffled by how people can afford to pay for things. I'm a nurse (B6), husband works in education. Our household income is ca £80k before taxes, two children, one still in nursery. Clothes come from Vinted, we eat out at Nando's once a quarter, etc. No big splurges or fancy tastes, I buy own brands and cook at home, mostly vegetarian. We don't run a car and have no debt, besides a mortgage of £1700/month (outer London, not great interest rate, purchased in past five years.) We have zero money from family and will have zero inheritance. I'm not complaining, I know we are so much better off than many others; we haven't any debt and have food on the table, and save a bit towards emergencies and househole maintenance each month. But I don't understand how people in similar situations can be buying new clothes (and from shops like Sezane at that!), or are flying to destination weddings, or sending extravagant birthday gifts to friends and family. Is it just a mix of family money/gifts, credit/Klarna, and higher salaries? Do people invest wisely and live off of the returns? I'm quite a budget conscious person and can't imagine where else I might cut corners to save, let alone buy clothes from Sezane or, really, any new clothes at all!

Vinted's great for clothes. If you sell on what you don't need / doesn't fit and use the money for further purchases it's even better.

Your mortgage is huge, I'm not surprised you are feeling the pinch. I think a lot of people have second jobs, some not declaring income. I think a lot have parents helping them out also or it's all on credit cards. Some people seem to think nothing of having a lot of debts ( aside of mortgage debt ). Personally I wouldn't be able to sleep at night.

But you're being hammered by two of the biggest costs of modern life: housing costs (big mortgage) and childcare fees.

The childcare fees will go sharply down in a couple of years- not so the mortgage I imagine.

Could be lots of ways… Maybe their income is higher… maybe their mortgage is lower. If someone bought early in life and now mortgage free that would be the difference of £1700 every month. Maybe they are in huge amounts of debt… maybe they got an inheritance? Could be a huge number of reasons. It’s hard when you have a good private sector job and are still struggling (am also nhs and DH is military, so I get it!). But it’s probably that others have more coming in, or less going out or they have debt.

I mean, what ‘people’ are you talking about? People you know who you assume earn similar to you? People who don’t know don’t but you buy a lot?

Many people have a life very similar to yours. Some people earn more than you. Some are in debt from overspending. Some have had a substantial inheritance.

I guess I’m confused as to who you’re wondering about?

She’s in outer London. That mortgage is completely normal.

I feel you OP!!! It’s so hard out there right now. We are in our early 30s, lawyer and teacher (but my husband has just started out in law so salary will go up as the years go by) but still life is so hard with two kids and so unaffordable. We never eat out, no coffees, haven’t done a holiday for 4 years. Our friends live a much more decadent lifestyle than ourselves which I guess is explained by my husbands later career move but still it baffles me at points. All I can think is people have assets from family money.

This. Your mortgage is high for your income and nursery costs will probably be similar.

I'm a single parent, similar household income but only 1 tax free allowance. My mortgage is only 825 a month and I can afford some luxuries.
I hadn't heard of those clothes you mentioned but I googled and they look dull as fuck.

We have zero money from family and will have zero inheritance.

That's your answer. The majority of people have some sort of inheritance money, at least on one or both sides of a partnership. It's quite rare to find a couple without any sort of family support, unless they are expats or have gone NC.

Most inheritances are not glamorous or posh. It's very often an old flat or house in a random village belonging to a grandparent or distant childless relative. Regardless of what sort of property, if you sell it, you get six figures which is probably more than you could save up in 1-2 decades.

If you have five or six figures sitting on your account then it's much easier to splurge on small things like pricey clothes or more meals out.

Inheriting is by far the easiest and most common way people get access to huge amounts of money. They don't even actively need to do anything so it looks "mysterious" since they're still in the same jobs and daily routine. Nobody is getting rich on investments these days unless they were rich to begin with (you need a few million to invest before you can get a good return).

Try being single on just over nmw

Don’t live in London.
There are lots of places in the country where that would be considered huge salaries. Okay I know you wouldn’t get London weighting if you moved out, but how much difference would that make?

Your income is the same as ours, but we only pay £700 a month for our mortgage so have a much more comfortable life.

We spend similarly to you on groceries, nursery, and clothes.

We have two cars (albeit 20 and 10 years old), eat out at least once a week and go on several holidays abroad each year.

That £1k a month goes a long way.

Like you say, it’s down to different circumstances-earning more, having help etc. When you bought your house is key as well.

We bought in the 90s, mortgage was £200, we got good pay rises and overpaid the mortage so it got paid off. We also never had any childcare costs as we had family help. No
student loans either so very fortunate.

Googling: your take home pay is £4,800
Nursery is £1800
Mortgage is £1700

That leave about £1300 .
That's not a great deal for all other expenses. But surely you are aware of that.

What do you mean by similar situations? Similar income and outgoings then they surely will be in the same situation as you.

Im constantly baffled how people on your household income can't afford a reasonable standard of life.

The majority of people have some sort of inheritance money, at least on one or both sides of a partnership

Is that true?

I am a single parent with household income of 30k. You just have to be careful and above all not live in London

OP does have a good standard of life. She has savings, affords all her bills, is a homeowner, is employed. She’s not complaining she doesn’t have a good standard of life. She is asking about people who have much more. She directly acknowledges that she has a better standard of life than many others.

Definitely not true!

Barely, to put it bluntly. I was visiting my friend the other day, who has just had her bathroom done, and she was showing me around (big family sized bathroom). I kept thinking "Right now, I couldn't afford even one of these cupboard handles." Our household income is approximately £55k and, like you, I am watching all my outgoings carefully yet feel surrounded by friends and family who most definitely are not. We don't want for anything, and manage to save a bit every month (savings are a non-negotiable for me, so I don't count my 'rainy day' savings as money I can afford to spend on, say, bathroom cupboard handles, for instance).
I think we just count our blessings and crack on.

I earn minimum wage, single parent, no maintenance, won't be getting any inheritance, no financial help at all. I live in a council flat. We share a bedroom. It sucks, but it's doable, and I'm trying to get further up at work so hopefully next year there'll be slightly more money.

All our clothes are Vinted or charity shops. I eat a lot of beans and vegetables and oats. We do a lot of free days out, picnics etc. I save up for a week at the seaside in Spring. No car. No money for a car. So I use Trainline and book things well in advance.

Once I realised that most people that I know who go on big holidays and have nice cars etc are either using credit or have huge debts I stopped feeling left out. I don’t want that life.

I really don't think the majority of people have inheritances, maybe in their fifties but not young. Only one of my group of close friends has inherited a significant amount. The rest saw any inheritance gone on Nursing homes.

It’s your childcare and mortgage costs.

i earn £40k but my mortgage is £300 and childcare less than £200pm so I am able to have some luxuries but don’t eat out often and lots of clothes are second hand still to make ends meet as I am a single parent.

your childcare bill will go down but I don’t think it’s true people all have inheritances, I don’t. What I do observe though is a lot of people I know do have debt