Why have I become anxious about travel and being away?

[ClawsandEffect]

Not sure what's going on. I've always been really independent.

Have lived and worked all over the world. Had a flying phobia (genuine, not just a fear) but forced myself to do it anyway, so I could have the life I wanted. Always loved trains, hotels, getting away.

Except now I don't. I totally understand why I don't want to fly now. There is no push, because there's no job I've got to get to and I find holidays disappointing (they're almost always a let down IMO). But in addition to this, I now get really anxious about train journeys and being away from home.

I can't quite believe this is me. 10 years ago I moved to an Asian country I'd never been to, to live and work. And now, I am unhappy about a short break in the UK.

What the fuck?

I think we become more cautious as we get older as we're more aware of what can go wrong, and perhaps less tolerant or flexible on dealing with obstacles or difficulties, or just things and people that are less than ideal.

Airports and plane are a hideous means to an end. And train travel can be difficult. If you have a ticket and a reservation for a particular train and it's cancelled, for instance, you're then anxious about can you get the next train? will you have to stand? will you make your connection? will you have a table full of noisy space invaders next to you?

Then there's the never quite knowing what you're going to get at the end of the journey. It's often not how it looks in the photos. Will the key code work? Will the room be clean? Where will I eat? And things don't work the same, or at all sometimes.

I often find myself mentally acting like I'm a contestant on Four in a Bed and being critical of small inconveniences even if they don't matter that much in the grand scheme of things.

I particularly dislike going places where I don't speak the language.

I guess it's a control thing ultimately.

That said, I still take myself off on trips because I like to see things and I have the time to do so. I just have to give myself a pep talk from time to time.

Is it better if you travel with someone, OP? But also, it's okay not to want to travel. Maybe you're just in a phase in your life when, for whatever reason, you just want to hunker down a bit. It's not a moral failing.

It was a sign of perimenopause for me.

I agree that we get more cautious as we age, well I do anyways. I think back to solo travel and long drives I've done here and abroad. I'm late 40's and think its peri related for me though.

OP, do you have any medical issues, deficiencies like anaemia, thyroid etc? Peri?

Have you had DC in the interim?

Children grown up. Past menopause. I'd like to do more but both lack the motivation and also get anxious about it.

But despite my age I feel that I'm too young to shut up shop on travel yet. In theory, I'd like one more hurrah, working overseas. But given that I can't even motivate myself for a long weekend at the other end of the UK think moving overseas again is probably not going to happen!

How old are you op? I am exactly the same and I have read it could be a symptom of peri menopause

Oh sorry just seen you have said you are post menopausal

Very much so. Surgical menopause in early 40s.

my friend, this is what perimenopause and menopause does to us x Get help xx

Lack of oestogen can cause nerves and anxiety. Assuming you're on HRT you may want to reconsider your dose.

No HRT. Had BC. Not advised.

No HRT. Had BC. Not advised.

I’m late 50s and like you had an earlier than normal menopause due to Breast Cancer, no HRT. I definitely recognise the travel anxiety! I want to go places, I really do, but I find it so stressful! To be honest though I have generalised anxiety these days.