Taking time out - needed or lazy?

[Canicareerbreak]

Long story short, I settled with my company yesterday for a pretty decent figure as part of a managed exit. This past year has been relentless - think high stress, long hours, being bought by a PE firm, toxic atmosphere, unsustainable workload. I am exhausted. I have enough feasibly to support me for about 18 months if I’m very very careful but I obviously don’t want to do that. However, I would like to take the summer off before I jump into another role. DH works and earns ok. Two kids (14 & 16 who can take care of themselves). DH is encouraging me to do all sorts of things - take myself off on a city break, join the swanky new gym with a spa and outdoor pool, go visit family abroad. But I’ve always been the do-er, the higher earner, the grafter, the workhorse. The concept of just stopping feels lazy somehow. Has anyone else done something similar? Can someone please tell this 45 year old perimenopausal exhausted woman to take a break???

Yes you can!
You have one shot at life, so take the time out and do something you know you'll enjoy!

Can someone please tell this 45 year old perimenopausal exhausted woman to take a break???

If you're not going to listen to your husband when he's supportive about you taking a break, why would you listen to internet randoms?

Even if you feel it's 'lazy', it's ok to be lazy sometimes and take time out for yourself.

But you know this.

For big decisions I always wonder how I will feel about it in the last few moments of my life. Will you look back and be glad you did those things? Or will you look back and wished you had started work immediately. I feel the latter is unlikely.

I blamed myself for being lazy for years. Then I was diagnosed with several conditions and I am suspected chronically ill with fibro and a sleep condition too. We can't really function if we're always tired. Have you heard about executive dysfunction. No one chooses this life but we've just got to get on with it and know our own limitations.

Oh I can't be bothered with all the competitive busyness that people seem to love boasting about.

It's fine to spend some time doing nothing or relaxing. Just as long as it doesn't go on forever.

You want to and can afford it, so why wouldn’t you take the opportunity?

I genuinely don’t understand what the problem is, there are no prizes for who worked the hardest.
If it’s others opinions that are bothering you they can fuck off, it’s just jealousy that they can’t and their feelings are irrelevant to you.

If you won't listen to your husband I'm not sure you'll listen to anyone else!

The concept of just stopping feels lazy somehow. The use of the word 'lazy' is so judgemental. That's no way to talk about yourself, or anyone else.

There are loads of books about the benefits of deep rest and reflection, written by various leaders and different types of experts.

I don't think it's lazy thing to do - I'm about to go part time just because I want to. But - with the jobs market as it is currently I'd be very worried about having a bigger gap on my cv would make it even harder to find something else.

I’d definitely take a few months off at least. Take the children on an amazing holiday for a few weeks, join the gym and get into amazing shape, maybe learn a new skill. None of those things are lazy and it’s ok to step off the career treadmill now and again!

also a break may give you a chance to reflect on what you are really looking for in your next role. While you might think you know now, a bit of time and perspective never hurts.

Not lazy at all. Life's too short. Go enjoy yourself.

There is more to life than work.

Take a break and enjoy doing nothing (which in reality will be really full of you doing things you wanted to but didn’t have time) I’d take a year off if I could or 6 months definitely. Not just the summer l.

@Canicareerbreak If your body and your brain are telling you they've had enough, then that's what you need to do. Seems like you are suffering from burn-out and you need a break. So take it. Looking after your physical and mental wellbeing is not being lazy.

Your husband is encouraging you to join a gym, go away for a while or take up some other activities, but you don't actually have to do anything at all.

I took early retirement two months ago, mostly due to an increasingly stressful and demanding job which was only going to get more so, and I had all sorts of plans about what I was going to do with my time once I got the opportunity. Do you know what I've done over the last two months? Sod all. I can't summon up the enthusiasm to do anything. I've come to the conclusion that my system is taking a long overdue rest and when I'm ready, I'll know. I'm not going to put myself under any pressure in the meantime.

Please do it, you don't know when you may get through opportunity again! After the last company, it sounds like you could do with a reset and your husband sounds supportive and fully on board, so go with it!

Looking after yourself is not lazy.

Do it! As a teacher I have the whole summer off & I love it! I don't do nothing, I catch up on jobs & spend time with dd. And have a few lie ins! It will do you the world of good

We are in a similar situation but it’s me continuing to work and my DH is taking time off. I earn enough to just cover the bills anyway and he’s getting a great payout. I recently read Die With Zero which goes on a lot about the time-health-money triangle. It’s not often you have enough of all of those and right now he does, so I’ve suggested he makes a list of stuff he really wants to do in his lifetime and try to tick some off.

I did this last year. Left a high pressure/stress role and took 2 months off with my boys. Spent it in the UK visiting family and returned to start a new higher paid role in September.

It was an absolute tonic. Highly recommend.