DD (8) wants to shave her legs.

[weestarry]

My DD is 8 and asked this morning to shave her legs. She’s going into p5 after summer and she’s the youngest in her class by quite a bit so some of the girls are almost a year older than her. She said this morning that she hates her hairy legs and that the other girls in her class don’t have hair like that. I’m not sure if she means they already shave their legs or that the girls she named are just fairer haired than she is. The hair has changed to become quite dark recently but it’s not noticeable unless you’re close up. I’m going to wait and see if she asks again and come to a decision then but is she too young? On the other hand, I really don’t want her to feel self conscious about wearing shorts or skirts when she goes back to school and I would obviously do it for her.

My dd just turned 9 and has just asked me the same thing. I'm getting her hair removal cream rather than shaving

People - usually other kids - are going to pick on your kid. Life is like that. How far are you willing to oto appease them, and are you confident they will be appeased?

Self consciousness can be changed into self awareness with good support. Society is set up to keep women weak with self consciousness, too busy looking at their bodies and reflections to fight, lead and live fully. At least wait to encourage that (if you must!) til she's a teenager!

It’s really hard as I understand that it just shouldn’t even be an issue at that age but god I was bullied relentlessly for years and it started about my leg hair. Not worth it. For what’s it’s worth I’m very live and let live now but god I wish my mom hadn’t dismissed me when I raised my feelings about it back then. It was awful

If OP shaves her own legs then I strongly disagree with you. Obviously I don’t let my children do everything I do, but I think asking a young child to resist pressure and accept her body hair while not doing it yourself is a bit shitty tbh.
If a parent doesn’t shave their own legs then I think it’s a more acceptable message. Otherwise it’s “yes I know I’d be uncomfortable going out in a skirt with hairy legs, but that’s because I’ve bent to social pressure and I expect you not to”.
We’re not talking about something which is inherently dangerous - obviously razors can be but if done correctly hair removal is perfectly safe.

How much are you going to let your kid get bullied to prove a point at their expense?

I think kids should be allowed bodily autonomy to an extent as long as it's not harmful to them. I was another kid whose mun didn't let me do anything which strongly influences my view.

My daughter has a very obvious moustache at 8 and is on the way to developing a monobrow. It's not something her or us have brought up but I'm sure it will come up in future.

At 8? The world has gone mad. You tell her she is a mammal, mammals (both male and female) are covered in hair, and no one should ever be made to feel like they have to change that for someone else.
Absolutely no way would I shave the legs of my precious 8 year old. What on earth are you teaching her? No no no. 8 year olds are perfect as they are, and it is your job to make her believe that.

It is the bullies who need to change in this scenario.

I would use hair removal cream with her and make it part of a pamper session, something you can do often and together. I think introducing the razor might mean at some point she wants to try this by herself so the cream would be my first choice.

If she is self conscious I would let her have autonomy over her body. She isn't asking for anything out of the ordinary here.

There's a balance though isn't there? Between making a child put up with bullying, and leaping to assume they'll be bullied about their body hair after one mention that they don't like it, and providing a quick solution that actually might end up being a pita for the child (cuts, shaving rash, stubble, even just boredom. Those creams take ages and are full of god knows what chemicals). The OP's DD said no one has mentioned it, so there seems to be quite a bit of projection here.

Kids come under social pressure to have piercings or change their hair colour or wear make up but it's still parental decision at what age to support that vs encouraging them to resist it. I don't think that makes parents hypocritical.

In any case my DD is 14 and wears make up and short skirts and goes swimming but has never done anything about her dark body hair, and either she is immune to social pressure or hasn't really come across it. She obviously could remove it if she wanted to, and knows I do. I think times have changed.

How much are you going to give in to, to ensure no one ever bullies your child?

To be fair, I still fight, lead and live fully while also shaving my legs (when I can be bothered to). I’m far less bothered about my body hair now but I was at that age. Not bending to social pressure is tough when you’re young and you don’t want to be laughed at and picked on. I will of course teach my DD that she is utterly perfect but I suspect she will be like many teenage girls and have many gripes and insecurities. I think I’ll have to pick my battles (if pencil thin eyebrows come back into fashion for example) and leg shaving is going to be fairly minor as, unlike my eyebrows, the hair grows back.

It’s all hypothetical at this point anyway. As previously stated, I’m going to wait and see if she brings it up again.

On this subject, yes I'll let my kid shave her legs to avoid it.

8 is very young and hair creams contain a lot of chemicals. I'd be inclined to wait a bit.

I’m wondering if you have children? I’m 57 and when I was around10/11 I stood out as I had very fair skin and very dark hair on my legs. I was teased relentlessly about it, PE was an excruciating ordeal which I remember to this day. I did eventually start shaving, but for years hid my legs in long skirts and trousers as a direct result of the teasing/bullying I endured. When I was older I started having my legs waxed and discovered I actually had quite good legs, but for years kept them hidden because of how hairy they were ( even when shaved the dark hair showed under my skin). All the body positivity in the world would not have made me feel better. Growing up is hard enough, if this is something that can be sorted and make the little girl feel better, then why on earth not. If it was your daughter who was worried and anxious, would you really just tell her to be more body confident or would you help her?

I can assure you @Cassiemoomoo I was picked on for a variety of things, almost all kids are. Wearing glasses, being clever, terrible dress sense. I'll let you guess as to whether those things still apply to me 😁

Different place but same consensus, my 9 year old has a handful of under arm hairs. When first realising was adamant she wanted rid ASAP.
I gave her chance to process the realisation first, and when I asked a few days later had changed her mind, wanted to wait until they become more noticeable. I did explain its something you can't stop once you start and can be a faff at times.

Waiting a few days then reapproach the topic, she may feel the same, she may feel she wants to wait a little longer unless someone does notice it.

Allow it. Looks matter more than you think. There is no point in telling girls they don't because the truth is they do.

I got burnt with hair removal cream and I’m an adult! Look into sugar wax.

It’s great that she’s talking to you. She is young, but my DD wasnt much older when she brought it up. Definitely explain that hair is normal/natural. I offered a few options to see which she preferred - different razors and cream, and helped her. She mostly prefers the cream.

Tbf, I'd rather she shaved with a safety razor than use chemicals that could burn her.

Mine was 8 when she started asking too. I bought her a lady shave.

She absolutely hated her arm hair too and spent all of last summer in long sleeved tops hiding them. We bleached her arm hairs and now that they are fair she is perfectly happy with them.

There is no need to make them be uncomfortable about hair when its so easily solved.

(I also told her not to attack her eyebrows with tweezers when she decides she wants those shaped. She's probably a long way from it but has agreed to tell me and she can come with me when I get mine done)

Having been the girl that was bullied for hair my mother wouldn't allow me to remove I couldn't disagree more with you.