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Is my mum jealous of me ?

10 replies

sweetsj7 · 26/06/2026 06:39

My mum constantly makes me the centre of her jokes, and it’s really starting to affect me.
For a bit of context, I’m currently on holiday with my new boyfriend, my 5-year-old son, my boyfriend’s mum, my mum, and my mum’s younger boyfriend. My boyfriend, my son, and I had already been in the Caribbean for a few weeks before my mum arrived. During that time, I was enjoying my holiday, eating well, relaxing, and I gained around 8 lbs.
Ever since she arrived, my weight has become the topic of conversation. She’s constantly comparing our bodies and asking people who’s slimmer, me or her. She repeatedly calls me “fatty,” even though I’m not overweight—I simply gained a little holiday weight, which I know I can lose.
She doesn’t stop there. She’s always making comments about my weight to her boyfriend, turning me into the centre of attention and making jokes at my expense.
The worst moment was when she met my boyfriend’s mum for the first time. Instead of having a normal conversation, she asked her who was bigger, me or her. She even tried lifting up my dress so my boyfriend’s mum could get a better look at my body shape. I could tell my boyfriend’s mum felt uncomfortable, and I ended up apologising because I was so embarrassed.
Eventually, after we’d all had a few drinks, I asked my mum what her issue was with constantly making jokes about my weight. I told her that yes, I’d gained a little weight because I was on holiday, but weight comes and goes. We were supposed to be enjoying ourselves, not focusing on appearances. I also told her it was starting to seem like her behaviour was coming from her own insecurities rather than anything to do with me.
Even her own boyfriend said she was taking it too far. My boyfriend’s mum also stepped in and said that we’re all beautiful and questioned why my mum kept asking people to compare our bodies.
At that point, it became clear that I wasn’t the only one who thought her behaviour was inappropriate.

OP posts:
PersephoneParlormaid · 26/06/2026 06:43

Perhaps she’s worried about the younger boyfriend fancying you, but I guess you’ve already thought about it as you’ve mentioned the age gap.

Duvetdayforme · 26/06/2026 06:45

Your mum sounds rather unpleasant. I would be avoiding her as much as possible if she can’t control her behaviour.

Duckiewasthefirstniceguy · 26/06/2026 06:50

What was her response when she was called out?

Also, why do you think her boyfriend being younger is relevant?

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Morepositivemum · 26/06/2026 06:56

Yes possibly jealous of the attention and the lovely times you’re going through, meeting the mum, being on holiday with a boyfriend in your youth. She’s chosen to go about it in the most awful horrible way, comparing you both. I wouldn’t let her see it affect you, Id (I might not but you should), say ‘will we stop making this about you now?’ as you apologising or getting awkward is giving her drama, you are then making it nothing.

Renamedyetagain · 26/06/2026 07:02

Because some women base their worth on weight. My MIL still does and she is78. It's horrible, misogynistic, nasty behaviour.

I have cut contact with one family member who was being snide amongst other family, saying I'd used weight loss injections and must be having a mid life crisis.

I'd lost about a stone and a half and was feeling better/wearing new clothes.

Some people can't bear seeing others slimmer/healthier/happier. It's their own ugly projections.

I was a little heartbroken as I'd put my loyalty and trust into this person and helped them through some awful times.

Now I'm menopausal I don't have the energy or patience for pathetic behaviour.

Ooodelally · 26/06/2026 07:12

This certainly reads as if she’s insecure, I’d guess she’s concerned her boyfriend will be comparing you both and she’s coming off unfavourably beside you! It’s horribly nasty behaviour on her part to let that present in shitty behaviour and comments designed to knock your confidence. Needless to say I’d recommend never going on holiday with her again!

Cloudconfusion · 26/06/2026 07:17

Is the major part of this missing, what did you mother say when it was called out.

BeardySchnauzer · 26/06/2026 07:19

Yeah that’s weird - has she always been weird about weight?

how did she respond?

Peoplearebloodyidiots · 26/06/2026 07:24

She sounds like a bitch, don't put up with it

dizzydizzydizzy · 26/06/2026 07:29

Sounds really horrible! How old is your mother and has she always been very focussed on weight?

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