Struggling with my 2.5-year-old twins and constant tantrums

[StatuesLove]

My twins are 2.5 years old and twin boys. Their speech is developing daily but not at sentences yet, and they are potty trained now thankfully.

They are chaos. They destroy everything and wreak havoc everywhere. They break everything and just are generally very naughty. They go nursery 2 full days a week so I work those days.
They have tantrums over every little thing and if any little thing isn’t how they’d like then it’s full blown screaming and crying even in public.
I always make plans to take them to parks/ the farm etc with my husband but generally it’s ruined as they tantrum and cry.

I’m just generally posting to rant lol it’s just so hard. Me and my husband have made the decision to not have any more kids. We’re 30 and want to get our life slowly back that’s why I’m working part time and earning well and trying to spend these moments with the kids as they grow (even though it’s SO hard!!)

We definitely don’t do gentle parenting and are south Asian (just for context as we’re known to be quite firm lol) it’s just they don’t listen at all

No one else seems to understand

I recommend the book The Incredible Years. Even the first 5-6 chapters are really useful. I know reading is hard however. It’s on audiobook if more helpful.

I also have twins.

Oh I think twins are always a handful! They gee each other up and gang up on you lol. While they are still so young, can you and DH divide and conquer, at least some of the time?

Dealing with tantrums is tricky and they are pretty much peak age for it. At home, do your best to ignore as much as you can, stay calm and wait it out. Out and about it's harder, especially with two - try not to worry about other people's disapproval, their opinions don't matter. If you can just stand by and give it no attention, it will probably be less prolonged. If you can't stand it, grab them up and get out of there! Don't think it's your parenting, it's not - toddlers are just little savages! They will outgrow it and become generally more reasonable as they get older 💐

I'd read "how to talk so little kids will listen".

A few things you say stand out - they don't care they are in public, that's not relevant to them. Also they aren't being naughty, they just don't have the skills to express what they are feeling in a less demonstrative way. Reframing your opinion of what's happening will make everything easier.

I find parenting my two together hard because they wind one another up and sort of bounce off / respond to one another rather than to me. I have a lot of respect for twin parents; I don’t know how you do it.

I think two and a half to three and a half is very challenging. To a certain extent we can’t parent them out of this stage. It’s just sort of waiting for it to pass!

2.5 is very challenging, and there are two of them to deal with at the same time!
They sound like normal toddlers really so hang on in there, you are almost past the worst of it!