Statement for inquest; how formal? (Suicide TW)

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My mum died in February. It was likely suicide, but there's a possibility it's an accidental overdose. In my heart, I am very sure it was not an accident. I knew my mother very well, both as her daughter and as her friend of sorts. There are little give aways for me that it is not a mistake, that I know only from a life time of knowing her. Even so, I accept that there's a possibility it was just an accident.

Heroin was her great love really, that and work. She was fiercely intelligent and worked in a heavy weight, high security job, that took enormous skill and accuracy. She could find tiny errors that even computers missed. She was a junky, but one who could design rockets and obliterate people intellectually. My dad died when I was 13 and my brother a toddler, she lost all her joy then, really.

She'd been ill a long time and had bad medical news. She had multiple life limiting chronic illnesses that were slowly becoming terminal rather than chronic. She'd given up the drugs, even smoking, hoping for a make or break operation, after an entire lifetime of addiction - she was addicted to heroin by 14 and died at 57, a year clean but of a big overdose... She'd been told that day that she couldn't have the operation as she wasn't physically strong enough for the surgery. Told to get stronger and come back in 6 months or so, but she had no more strength to give and had given up her biggest love and means of understanding the world already, in the hope of radical surgery. I believe she euthanised herself that night, after hearing that. She could of course just been in a bad mood and over judged after a long period of sobriety, but for many little reasons I don't think so.

I have been asked to write a statement for her inquest. They have given a list of questions and asked for any further information I can offer. I have never written one or heard one before. I don't know how formal I need to be. I am a confident writer and am happy in a formal register; my mum wasn't a formal person though, and it feels very wrong thinking about her in formal phrasing. It feels distasteful and like I am dishonouring her: she didn't like official structures and it feels like I sound like the people she hated.

And I don't know how long it should be. How much of my mum I should explain. If they should know all the tiny reasons I think it's a suicide. How much of a picture I should paint versus just answering what they have asked. I can write whatever needs to be written and competently enough, but I don't feel as though I know what I need to write. Can anyone help? Have you written one or read them professionally? I don't know what my 'normal' is.

I'm sorry for your loss.
I've no experience of writing or reading these, however I'd imagine the coroner wants to build a picture of your mum and where she was at mentally.
You can give your observations which might be helpful with other information to form how your mum died and to give a verdict.

Take care and hopefully someone with more information will come along.

They definitely do. But it's funny, tiny things that to me show her plan and it's those I don't know whether to say about.

She'd spoken to me about my dad for the first time in decades recently. The book she was reading. How she'd locked the doors. How she'd left her drink. Her incredible stinginess and the kilo of citric I could tell she'd just bought... Things like that. I don't know if they want to know that. They only ask about support and connections and her mental state at the time. Which was the same as always, but she'd also always said she'd die when she chose to. She'd said it would be that way my entire life.

The whole situation has thrown me really, since she was first found. And I don't know why, because we always knew it would happen.

She always said it would be an opiate overdose too. She'd hoarded methadone in a fear she wouldn't be able to access heroin when she wanted to go. It had been a potential option for years, ever since she was too ill to be out and about easily.

I am so sorry to hear about your mum.

I attend inquests for a living. The coroner, likely a legal bod not a Dr, does not know your mum. You need to paint a picture, born here, family were..., lived there, education, work, her own family, and yes her addiction. You should have the details of a coroner's officer who can help you with this.

Tell the coroner what you think they should know about your mum, stuff that probably won't be in the more formal, medical statements. Talk to the coroner's officer, they will help and guide you.

You can always do an additional statement if information comes to light in the other statements that you were not previously aware of. Take your time, and be kind to yourself. Please remember it will be read out in open court, and if press are present (rare) it can be reported on. I hope some of this helps.

It's a profoundly sad situation.
I think stick to the facts and add in your observations.
Your mum sounded amazing and if she did plan to die of suicide is it any consolation to you that she took control in the end, especially with her worsening health?
To give up heroin is really hard and she managed that.

Huge condolences to you. Your mum sounds like she was an amazing woman despite her addictions, and strived to be the best she could be, under extraordinary circumstances. If she did end her life, she did it on her terms. May she rest in peace reunited with your dad for eternity.

Have just asked DH about the info requested by the Coroner when his Mum died. It was in 2012 so may have changed a little, but he was advised by the Coroner’s Office just to be as accurate and honest as you can, it’s all about building a picture of your Mum leading up to her death.

Of course the whole process was incredibly hard, but the Coroner’s office was incredible, with updates, making sure DH was OK and running through what was going on behind the scenes (for example when the toxicology results were back), and what to expect on the day.

My MIL had taken a mixed opiate OD (tens of times fatal dose across multiple classes of medication), and had a long history of suicide ideation and depression.

However, as there was no note (although the Coroner believed one had been removed from the scene by his Aunt based on set parameters she suddenly knew about MIL’s specifically dated funeral wishes, but that’s a whole other kettle of cod) they recorded an Open Verdict. That was despite her psychiatrist being at the inquest, other mental health professionals, her GP etc, because as the Coroner said, although on balance of probabilities it was likely to be deliberate, because she had done this multiple times to various degrees, he couldn’t rule that that final incident was performed with a definite intent that night. So it may be something to bear in mind as a possible outcome.

Please, please make sure you have support in real life as the questions did bring up a lot of dark stuff for DH, and answering them kinda cemented some events in his childhood just by virtue of being written down (if that makes sense, brain is currently melted and flowing out my ears).

Wishing you all love in an utterly Mumsnet-y fashion x

Thank you @Icantfindanewname . That's incredibly helpful. I didn't realise I could ask them about this sort of thing. My mum was a very unusual person with a unique life, I've never met anyone else like her. It's good to know it's ok to explain her properly. She genuinely was a remarkable person, even if very flawed. We also really don't this was a sad, desperate end so much as a peaceful calculation against a nasty decline she rejected.

I don't care what is said in open court really. She was always very open about her issues throughout her life. Often far more so than anyone else wanted, really. She always found it quite funny.

I’ll echo my condolences, I had a similar situation with my best friend, but to me was the reverse on feeling strongly that it was self harm that went wrong with the worry that she had acted deliberately.

It was made easier for me, as the attending police came over for me to write my statement. If I remember correctly they did all of the writing as I dictated and I read back to verify.
They were a major help to me on the questions, pulling out the key facts and they were able to give me all 999 time logs, ambulance arrival etc (confirming what seemed hours to me to be mere minutes)
They took all of my words as dictated, so it does not have to be formal / informal - just helping to make things clear and to ensure all the points asked in the questions are covered

All of your background information, including your opinion are very relevant. You know your mother and the coroner wants to get to “know” her as well as they can

Be clear on fact and opinion and the basis of your opinion
You have already done so to us in your post.

Her medical history will be made available, but it’s also relevant information coming from you
As advised by others make use of the coroners office to support you in this

Take care. This is going to feel horrible, but you can be confident that your intentions are to represent your mother fairly and honestly

In some ways, it would probably be quite useful. It would make her life insurance easier I'd imagine and I know my grandma would find it easier as the official reason. She worries about what to tell people, she is Catholic and old school and not outspoken, bold and unashamed like my mum was.

The whole situation has brought up a lot really. She wasn't a good mother in truth and I was looked after by my grandparents for a lot of my childhood. She was an incredibly interesting and challenging woman though, with a heartbreaking route to where she ended up. I found my peace as an adult, after a difficult period after my children were born. We were friends, even if we didn't have a strong mother/daughter bond. She was a very funny person when she was actually able to relax, but she struggled with the world and essentially thought almost everyone apart from her was a twat 😆. I always knew this would happen one day, but it has brought up a lot of pain I thought had been dealt with and buried long ago. But now she is instead and it's all come back - only I love her and feel scared like when I was a little child again.

What sort of length should it be? Presumably not too long if it's to be read out loud in court.

*I suppose that's the sort of thing to ask the coroner's office.

Don’t worry about length, it needs to be as long as it needs to be to cover the information that the coroner needs

You can use the coroners team for advice if you’re worried that you’ve put “too much”

But what is important is important

The coroner will go through everything, and put everything on record. They may or may not read out everything in court and will take the time if they feel the need
For my friend the coroner began stating that with family and friends in court that he would only read out “key facts”, which meant he skimmed over medical & mental health histories and gave a summary for each.

What he did choose to do was to read out my statement verbatim as that covered the day concerned

I’m so sorry for your loss OP. She sounds like such an interesting and unique person and it says so much about your character that you have been able to focus on those qualities while it must have been very difficult for large parts of your childhood (and indeed adulthood). Take guidance from the coroners office, they are there to guide and support you - it is part of their remit. Thinking of you

I am so sorry for your loss, Ipy. You write so eloquently about your mum.

Hello OP, I am so sorry for your loss and you’ve had some really helpful advice here. I just wanted to second the point made about things being reported in the press. My dad was in the public eye for a while and when he died the press coverage felt very odd (I mean there wasn’t loads, but some and some very personal). It sounds like you are at peace with this, but worth being mindful of details being picked up and reported in local press perhaps, and how you’d feel. Wishing you the very best, perhaps this is an opportunity to publicly acknowledge the things you’re proud of about your mum’s strengths?

Hi, Inquests lawyer here.

I’m very sorry for your loss, Inquests are tough things for everyone involved - especially loved ones.

At this point the Coroner will be trying to decide whether or not there needs to be a formal Inquest or whether all evidence can be ‘read’ under Rule 23. Essentially he wants to know all relevant info about your mum. I.e. who she was, any services she accessed to get help for her addiction or MH support and her general history. He will also want to know about how she was leading up to her death and if there were any potentially missed signs that could have prevented her death.

The statement is entirely yours. You can make it as personal/emotional as you like. If you prefer you can take all of the emotion out of it and make it entirely fact based. The Coroner’s office often take them on the phone, so do call/email them and see if they can assist you/talk you through it if you prefer.

It can be as long or short as you like. Some are a couple of paragraphs, others are a few pages. It’s really down to the individual coroner as to whether they read it all out or just extracts. I find that the length of the statement doesn’t really factor into that.

Thank you @BingBongitsme , that's good to know.

She was a bit unusual in that she'd had an intention to eventually die this way for decades before she did it, but seemingly no mental health conditions along side it at any point. She was a massive control freak and didn't like that death was random. She was very cheerful about the fact she wouldn't die naturally and it would be her choice. She'd kept enough meds in stock to kill herself at any time for 10 years or so, just in case. She was an unstoppable force - noone could ever stop her from anything she set her mind to. It would be impossible to condense her and her thought patterns down to a couple of paragraphs; I'm glad to know it's ok if it's a couple of pages.

Sharing https://uksobs.com/ OP, who might be a source of advice and support.