What age is reasonable for a child to be home alone after school?

[Fortheloveofpizza]

Another price increase email from after school today. As of next year I will only have one child left needing childcare thankfully.
I have always kept them in until P7 which is 11/12 . My youngest will be 8 next year and I will only need OSc one day for an hour. He’s a short walk home. What age do you think a child can let themselves in and be alone for an hour?
Appreciate not 8 but interested on what ages.

From the time I was sent to secondary school (11) my mother was working so I was alone from when I got home until abut 5.30 when she got in. I was expected to lay the table and begin preparations for the evening meal which usually involved chopping vegetables and putting them on to boil. So lighting the gas. There were no mobile then, only landlines, and we were not on the phone.About once a month my mother joined my father at the pub so I was in charge f my young sister from about 8-10 pm. This was considered quite normal.

Y6 - age 11 for us, depends on child of course. My older DS is v sensible so was happy to leave him. Also have a 9 year old, feels far too young to be left alone, though a sensble, practical child.

Either one of my dc could do this, age 9 and 10. Not together though!! However, they are both very capable and grown up for their age. Some of the 9 yr olds friends are like babies in comparison.

Unless there are particular reasons why your child needs more support than the norm, you are not doing your child any favours by stifling their independence in this way. You should also be careful that you don't transfer your anxiety to your child.

Agree with this. I’m sure it’s child dependent but I would think very few 8 year olds would be okay with this. That’s a year 3 child. My niece is 8 and she would be beside herself.

That NSPCC guidance makes me so angry. Way to halt DCs' independence and keep mothers (it will be mothers) in the home fir longer as there is no childcare for 11-12yos.

For those of you not resident in Scotland, P7 is the last yr in primary and the children are, in terms of age, halfway between Yr 6 and Yr 7. Children in Scotland are 6 months older when starting primary (age range 4.5 to 5.5, compared with 4 to 5 in England) and 6 months older when moving to secondary (age range 11.5 to 12.5, compared with 11 to 12). So, a child still at primary in Scotland will be slightly older than English contemporaries, which, at that age can make all the difference. I think it depends to some extent on the child. I started to leave mine alone from age 12 but only for 1 to 2 hrs, and with very definite instructions on what they were allowed to do.

I dont show im anxious around my kids. I left him yesterday for 45 minutes whilst me and his brothers got pizza to bring home

From the age of 10 we started working on leaving our children home alone occasionally so that by secondary school they can adequately look after themselves at home regularly (without the obvious things like cooking etc).

Yeah I would still think this is a concern, there is different levels of sw involvement, this would be low level but still enough to be concerned about. If it’s a once off ok but every day is not appropriate, it would be more about checking and advising if risks

11 for us.

We also built up - 10 min dog walk. 20 mins nip to the shops. Always able to get back quickly. Talked through how to phone us/dial 999 and not answer the door to anyone etc

P7 for a sensible child otherwise wait till high school.

A letter goes out at the beginning of Y3 at my children’s school and you can give permission for them to walk home alone from then. My children had only just turned 7. I was annoyed because the kids saw the letter so naturally wanted to walk home unsupervised. Thankfully (despite it being a very rough area) hardly any parents allowed that.

OP is in Scotland.

in Scotland it’s up to parents what age kids can walk home from school.

Some do so from P1 (age 5) with their older siblings and most certainly do from P4 (age 8).

Why would she be beside herself? At eight years old presumably she knows how to use a phone, how to knock at the neighbour and not to answer the door until Mum or Dad are home.

We do not keep children “safe” by preventing them from making small mistakes and taking steps to independence. We put them at risk. We should be actively teaching them what to do if they find themselves alone (intentionally or otherwise), who to trust and who not to trust, how to stay safe at home and out of doors and giving them those small bouts of independence to practice those skills and expand them.

Helicopter parenting does children no favours at all. Its not surprising we have anxious and worried teens and young adults if we don’t give them the confidence and the skills to be independent early on.

Ours were home alone in y6 so 10 for DD and 11 for DS.

Are you not concerned about the knock-on effect this might have on your own child and causing anxiety in them?

By contrast to your child, at just turned 12, I was out of the house around 6am to go and do my morning paper round, then home and back out to catch the 7:30 bus to school (public transport). I loved sports and, if I wanted to do extra clubs at weekends (to those my parents already took me to), I'd catch a bus or two to get to the sessions. I learned independence and to be street-wise. To not give your children those opportunities and education can seriously hold them back and put them at a huge disadvantage to their peers who are.

I remember starting University and the ones whose parents hadn't given them enough rope during their childhood and teenage years were an absolute disaster. They had no idea how to navigate the world or be independent. One particular nightmare wrote her PIN on her bank card and wondered why her bank account was empty after she lost her card. She would also leave the group, when out, and end up finding her own way home with random people, completely oblivious to the risks... And that was after drinking an absolute bucket load because alcohol was a fun, new experience to her. But then, as she explained, her parents had never let her be independent.

Absolutely agree.

It's also nonsensical when you think that, for children with late August birthdays, they may well be catching buses, trains, trams on their own to get to school, from as early as the day after they turn 11, when they start secondary school.

Pretty sure there are fewer risks to staying at home!

And at 11 I had to catch public transport at 7:30am on my own, to school, and didn't get back until gone 5pm.

At 12, I was out at 6am doing a morning paper round.

How can that be squared with advice that children shouldn't be at home alone until they are 12?! That's just holding children back.

Mine has been doing it since the schools returned from Easter hols, so 11.5. I prefer not to leave her much longer than an hour or so. Not so much for safety, more because she doesn’t particularly like being on her own long and I don’t like thinking of her on her own! But with the summer hols coming up and limited childcare options I’m gonna have to try leaving her for a bit longer. I wfh part of the week.

Our school allows you to walk home alone from year 5

Tbf these threads come up often and most responses are reasonable.

The reason (to the PP who suggested this) that there is not a fixed age (or why I am relieved there is not) is – what would it be? 12? So you cannot leave your 11 for 10 mins while you go to buy milk in the local Tesco?

Oh OK. Ten then? So it's OK to leave a 10yo in the house alone overnight?

There needs to be a sliding scale, just as there is a sliding scale of risk. Most ppl would not leave a 5yo alone at home for three hours; but an 8yo is probably fine for 10mins. Most of us would be happy leaving a 14yo for the evening; but not a 10yo. And so on.

Btw schools do vary - as I said, our junior school let the kids leave by themselves. Not many year 3s walked home alone (if any - maybe if they lived next door) but by year 5 it was the norm and in year 6 the only DC whoo were picked up were those with a younger sibling at the infants school. Some schools need permission from parents; some allow kids to leave from year 5; and so on.

This. DD is a July baby so 12 would have been the end of Y7. That's just overprotective in my opinion.

From Y7 she was able to walk alone to and from school, catch a bus to meet a friend or us in town, walk to shops and libraries and managed a short train journey alone.

Probably 10 for a very sensible child, good neighbours and a phone at home.

i started leaving mine at 9 for shorter intervals where I was only 5 mins or so away.