Aibu to think people get too entitled to your time due to whatsapp?

[TheDaringFawn]

Ive deleted it for a week as had 2 instances of people being really intense on it. It seems to welcome in people wanting access 24 7 and when you have boundaires it goes tits up.

Been called hurtful, selfish, rude for not wanting to engage on it like instant messenger, limiting screen time.

Its wild how addicted some people are to phones and demanding of others time and energy.

I miss the days of nokia 3210s and no social media or instant access apps.

Anyone else experience this and need a break?

I turned all my "last seen", read receipts and "online status" off a few years back. People on here will tell you that I'm shady for doing so. Im not. I just like my peace

No I haven't experienced this.

People are only as intense as you allow them to be and that goes for all forms of communication really.

Only if you let them. I have all the tracking stuff turned off (last seen etc.) And people get a reply from me any time between instantly to 3 days later when I can be arsed. Pretty much the only thing guaranteed to get a reply from me is "Fancy a pint?"

People can only keep hounding you if you keep replying to them. And if you're not replying and they keep sending you messages, just mute the chat.

Job done.

I love it. So useful. But I'm not glued to my phone. I might go 5 or 6 hours in the daytime without looking at it. So if someone hasn't spoken to me (in person or on the phone) they can more or less guarantee a slow answer.

Been called hurtful, selfish, rude for not wanting to engage on it like instant messenger, limiting screen time.

I don't get this at all. Anyone who thinks that whatsapp is there for you to be instantly available to them is the problem, not whatsapp itself. And I can honestly say I've never once had this (although my mum had form for this sort of thing so I imagine if she was still alive she'd be a nightmare in the age of WhatsApp! )

Who and how are you being hassled?

I don’t get this at all. I mute notifications and catch up on it when convenient. I’m on a couple of busy hobby related group chats that I can engage with or not. Friends I am happy to respond to when I get to it. Never had a problem. Surely this is more about the people you know rather than WhatsApp itself?

Someone i thought was a friend but wanted more, but i didnt but thought we could continue being friends.

I went out to their house one night, felt poorly and left early, they want to continually chat about how it affected them rather than just let go and have faith i actually felt sick.

I feel bad blocking them but might have to as it is continual making me explain myself for leaving early, i got out relationship where ex used to make me apologise for stupid things and explain why.

I seem to be a Magnet atm. I am soft and anxious and hate situations like these. People seem to know i am soft touch. I want to be stronger.

Agreed and the group chats you don’t ask to be a part of are the worst because it’s awkward being the person who leaves them. I archive them all.

I don't think this is a whatsapp issue. This is an issue with a man who seems tot hink you owe him your time and explanations of why you don't want to be with him. And if you didn't have whatsapp, he'd be calling or turning up at your house or, pre whatsapp, texting.

Where you perhaps need help is how to respond (or not respond). So without knowing the details so this might not be completely right, but I'd be saying something like, "Dave, I've said I don't want a relationship with you and i left your house because I wasn't feeling well. I don't need to jutsify anything further. I don't think we can continue to be friends if you still want more and are struggling to accept that I don't. I wish you well."

Thank you. In the last message he said to leave things, so i am hoping i get no more messages.

If i get anymore i will, its been invasive and made me really upset.

I thought you deleted WA for a week?

If the week's up, either block them or delete the app again.

I mean assuming you find it difficult to just mute or ignore.

But none of this is the fault of the app.

I have deleted it, just need some headspace from it all but hopefully itll stop. I think its more nervous system needs a reset.

OK, but that's the person, or the combination of that person and you, and nothing whatsoever to do with WhatsApp as a medium. The exact same interaction could be happening via text message or FB messenger or whatever. Block if you don't want to engage.

Yes, I 100% agree with you, and felt completely overwhelmed by both the intensity and frequency of a couple of people messaging on there recently that I took a big step back from it.

I now have set myself a personal boundary of not checking/replying before 9am or after 9pm unless say it was something really urgent involving helping another mum with their school run cover first thing/someone was taken ill at night, etc.

Bring back landline house phones! 🙏🏻😂

Sorry I'm confused.

You said you were hoping for no more messages after you deleted the app?

Not sure if it's me or the heat or both, but how can you get messages to an app you no longer have?

I haven't turned off any tracking or blue ticks or whatever. I'll reply when I have time to reply. If people don't like that, they're free to delete me.

I may be frustrating to those contacting me. But I use it like Ye Olde Ansafone.

An invitation to converse, not a summons if you like. Really like the Focus Mode on my little iphone. Means I don’t have to put the phone on do not disturb if I just want to filter out all but specific people during certain hours.

I do regularly check the scheduled summary of messages in case something urgent has cropped up. But unless it’s very urgent and very important I prioritise my focus because either I do deep work, or I do no work. I’m terrible at switching in and out of tasks.

Yep, me too. I’m available to reply on my terms only and I don’t care who thinks it’s weird!

Sounds like less of a Whatsapp issue and more than this individual is an insecure nuisance and possibly worse!

Me too. And I never listen to voice notes

Yes, had people like this. Gave me the ick. I turned off my active status and read receipts years go.
people who expect you to reply instantly aren’t mentally stable I find

Are you confused because you forgot that if someone has your whatsapp number that is your actual phone number and they can send a gasp sms to your phone?

Actually yes, I had completely overlooked that.

I love that... an invitation not a summons.

Re: whatsapp deletion,if you delete the app, messages will be there when you reinstall it. If you delete account different.