My son's reaction to the phrase "picky bits".

[SquirrelsAreGo]

My son is having a weekend of birthday moments ahead of the day on Tuesday. He is turning 17, and we've been teasing him about how he needs to know the dark side of being an adult (for some context, he is ND, funny, and plays along beautifully, adding his own roasts about how his older brother not adulting properly). He really enjoys word play, and learning British phrases that haven't made it to Oz where we now live.

We were discussing what he wanted for lunch, making suggestions for picnic type foods. At the time I was grasping for the word "picnic" so said "if we were in the UK, some people would describe them as 'picky bits'. He looked me straight in the eye and said " Why? Why would you do that to me? Is this what comes with being an adult?? Gdammit!"

Fascinating that, even without me giving any idea of how I feel about the phrase, his reaction was the same as mine. I sat him down and explained that this is what we meant by having to get used to the adult world, and that I was sorry we had to ramp it up so hard, but we only had until Tuesday to get him educated.

And then I remembered the word picnic and the world tilted back onto its axis.

I love that term.
It means I can go to Markies and get lots of bits.
Husband hates it, he's a traditional eater.
We're in Spain currently, all food is served tepid and there's no spice to ve had anywhere

I had never heard the phrase till MN, it wasn’t used when I was growing up. Glad to say I’ve never said the phrase out loud.

My kids call it a picky plate. I can’t say I have strong feelings about the phrase but I am very partial to a picky tea generally so perhaps am more generously disposed to it in the first place!

Bleurgh I absolutely hate it, picky bits makes me think of scabs.

It's a picnic tea in this house.

We call it a monkey plate, which I’m relieved at so I don’t have to go anywhere near the phrase ‘picky bits’ 🤮

You need to book your flights to get here for the great Picky Bits festival next week

Honestly I had my own wave of visceral horror at the phrase 'birthday moments' in your title OP!

I do think our instinctive gut reactions to certain words and terms are fascinating.

Sometimes it is maybe just about the sound of it, y to he rhythm, the physical experience of forming the letters (like the same effect that makes onomatopoeia fun but more subtle?). Sometimes perhaps it's more about associations of meaning. I guess with 'picky bits', even if your son has never heard the phrase in context before, he will have associations for 'picky' (to me: scabs, flaking skin, snootiness) and 'bits' (for me: private parts; little pieces of food that get stuck in the plug of the kitchen sink when washing up). Ew.

I think what I struggle with about 'birthday moments' is a) the association with a sort of silky advert voice, b) the association with a sort of superficial instagram-driven life that is all about curating fake images of happiness rather than actively living, and c) for some reason it makes me think of someone with dementia in a care home relying on photos to try to remember their life. But I realise that these associations might be quite specific to me and that's why disgust isn't so universal!

No it doesn't. Picky tea, means a small buffet style meal e.g. anything you fancy that will go on a small plate e.g. carrot batons and humus. Of course, I live in middleshire...

I am entirely neutral about the phrase picky bits. I don't really get the strong reactions to it. But yes, I also find the idea of 'birthday moments' a bit odd and jarring

We call it cold collation. Both our sets of parents and grandparents called it this so we have continued.

Didn't such items of food used to referred to as nibbles, as in "Come over at 8pm for drinks and nibbles"? I don't love the term "nibbles" but positively recoil at PB (can't bring myself to even type it out). We need to come up with a new word!

I’ve mainly only heard this on MN, maybe once or twice in real life. I’m with DS, it’s awful.

Such an awful phrase. Only learnt it myself more recently. I suppose finger food is not much better though 🤷‍♀️

Why would you do that? I have no great fondness for the twee phases that the English are so fond of, and am sure GenZ will at some point be laughing at memes about the 'picky bits' teas of the 20's but did not have that image in my head before you put it there.

Picky tea was one of my favourites as a kid but I didn’t hear the phrase ‘picky bits’ until I was an adult. Obviously the best thing about the tea is that you use your hands, but picky bits has always made me think of bowls of food that random people have already stuck their fingers in 🙈

Whilst I love eating picky bits the phrase makes me want to scratch my eyes out!! 😂😂 I also hate a ‘picky tea’ 🤮

i also hate choccies, hubs (for husband) and Holibobs

I haven’t heard the word nibbles for years! Makes me think of someone taking tiny little bites of singular pieces of Bombay mix 🙈

Makes me think of picking scabs. Disgusting.

My opinion of M&S has plummeted. Yuck.

I don’t get the hate for it, it sounds fine to me. We always called it a ‘party tea’ because it’s like the food you get at a kids party. I do take exception to Markies though, it’s Marksies surely?

We call it a meze - mostly as an inside joke, cos it sounds fancier than a picky tea.

When the children were younger we did it every Friday night and then all of the “treat” food would see us through the weekend. Can’t beat crisps in bowls.

Picky bits and picky tea make me want to set fire to my own head.

I prefer 'picky bits' to 'naice'.

I didn't really know how to describe my reaction to the OP, and I don't want to be unkind, but... I think it feels a bit twee to me and so far from my experience of families. My mam would never have shared something about me like this, let alone so glowing/gushing. I guess it makes me aware of that.

I hate the phrase ‘picky bits,’ don’t know why, I just do. It gives me the ‘ick,’ I’m not keen on ick either, except it’s very useful for explaining the feeling you get.

When I was growing up we’d have bits and pieces for tea, which was a similar concept with a variety of leftover food, bread, cheeses, meat, potato salad etc that you helped yourself to.

I used to call this a party food tea for my kids.

For me, picky bits started out has a meal thrown together from whatever was in the fridge/freezer because it was hot and mum couldn’t be bothered shopping or cooking. Other people seem to have taken it and changed it into what I’d call a picnic or a buffet.