Ignorance isn't bliss...

[Cleo65]

First post for advice - my daughter (40!) is going through a horrific episode of 'harm OCD',v she's taking the meds, desperate to recover.
Had her third therapy appointment today, I picked up the grandbabies from school.
She came home the most scared & frightened I've seen her, desperately worried that if knives are in sight EVERYONE will think she'll use them to hurt someone.
I hugged her tight, reassured her no-one is thinking that, it's all part of her illness etc.
Messaged my two best friends because frankly I needed some support......& got absolutely nothing.
They saw my message, the first of its type & duly ignored it ..

Now, I've supported them through so much - endless sympathy for grown child's departed dog, annoying parents, job grumbles etc ....just some examples.
I ask for nothing - but I'm devastated neither of them could offer me anything.
I'm trying really hard not to react from my disappointment - but what on earth do I do now???
I can't pretend I haven't been ignored & we are talking a decades long friendship...

I'm really sorry your DD is going through such a difficult time OP. You sound like an amazing and supportive mum.

How awful that your friends have let you down at a tine when you really needed them. Especially when you have been there for them in the past

If you have known them for such a long time I honestly think you should ask them why they have ignored you when you needed their kindness. You really haven't got anything to lose because if you don't ask the resentment you are feeling will affect the relationship anyway. And there just may be some possible reason for their behaviour

thats people for you,

that said offers support @Cleo65

There are better people out there. That sounds absolutely rubbish. You’ll find better people

How does your daughter feel about you sharing such personal information?

That's really shitty of your friends to just ignore you, especially as you have been there for them. They probably don't know what to say as it is beyond the everyday person level of experience on which to be able to advise on. But they don't excuse ignoring.

I'm a similar situation my DD is not doing too well mentally right now. I went to visit a friend and had a crisis call from DD having a meltdown. Me and friend talked it out after. Her mother had been out the garden and came in asking how things were and I told her my worries. She said I don't know what to say or how to advise but said how much she feels for me and progressed the conversation so I could express fully. This is what your friends should do. If they don't know what to say, then just say that, and let you know they feel for you. That bit isn't hard when you had reached out in a time of need

Edited to add i think it is in human nature to try and offer up a solution when things are shit. It is what keeps this type of platform going. People give problems, people give answers/hope/solutions based on their experience. If it is something out of the norm it can sometimes feel above their station. On here if you feel you got nothing of any use to add you can ignore and move on. Friends should behave differently but the emotions involved may be the same. So not ignoring in a "i don't care" way, but more like "I don't know what to say or how to help"