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What would you have done about the missing cake stand?

31 replies

Goditsmemargaret · 19/06/2026 14:05

Ok this is a what would you have done scenario. It's prompted by another thread about a broken cake stand.

Some years ago I rented a room from a friend of a friend who then became my friend. I only rented for a few months then accommodation - it was a temporary arrangement. Then something came up much closer to my work so I gave notice and moved out. She was happy with this and didn't replace me.

I liked her company but some things she did irked me; mainly that she could take advantage financially - she was just manipulative enough to be a bit wary.

Her house was unlike any I'd ever stayed in. I had never before met a true minimalist. She had tiny little cupboards custom made and most of them were empty; no condiments or snacks in the kitchen, one sharp knife, two plates, two dishes, one large serving bowl etc. there was no clutter or decorations anywhere. She would come home with one portion of vegetables that she's would steam and eat alongside a piece of meat. Nothing else was in the fridge. It was an interesting to observe.

I like cooking and had gotten into batch prepping 'healthy' alternatives like egg muffins, brownies from kidney beans or protein balls etc. She loved these.

For years I had owned a very beautiful tiered cake stand for afternoon tea. We had kind of joke tradition of preparing a 'healthy afternoon tea' after Id batch prepped my stuff for the week and have a selection on a Sunday with herbal tea before I packed them up into the fridge. We did it a few times. She has asked me to source her the same cake stand but the shop had closed down.

When I moved she said "you're going to leave me the cake stand aren't you... You're sharing a kitchen there won't be space... I love it so much" I was taken aback but said I'll leave it here till I move into my own place, I won't be there for longer than a few months.

As predicted I got my own place with my partner and messaged her for the stand. We were due to meet up shortly but she arrived without it then said she had forgotten it. The next time we were meeting I suggested I'd stop by hers collect it and give her a lift.

She refused saying she would collect me as it was more convenient. I got into the car and saw she had her regular plate on the back seat. She saw me looking then smiled and said

"The strangest thing... I can't find your cake stand. It has just disappeared. So I've brought you a plate."

I sat and stared at her. She kept smiling her face blank. It was honestly surreal. I eventually snapped that I didn't want her dinner plate, I wanted my stand back.

Now I know I'm going to get roasted here but i was so stunned we just continued the trip but I made some excuse and took off. Our friendship fizzled because frankly I considered her a complete weirdo after that.

I tried one ambush where I called by unexpectedly and tried to have a nose in the kitchen but she ushered me into the lounge first.

I found a similar-ish cake stand but don't love it. I occasionally think back and I can imagine logically what I should have assertively said to her but then I get a flashback to the odd frozen smile on her face (along with "are you sure you won't take the plate?") and know I would do the same thing.

OP posts:
PatSharpsMullet · 19/06/2026 18:01

So annoying OP and I think I would’ve done exactly the same as you. Right down to the thinking back about what I should've said.

It’s also so predictable that she’d ‘lose’ something that she’d coveted, right when you wanted it back. As if she wouldn’t have realised it was missing until you brought it up, too.

JillThePlantKiller · 19/06/2026 18:09

It feels like any other possible response would have been the plot of a horror novel. That gave me chills.

ThePlayLady · 19/06/2026 18:27

Nothing helpful to say but I was gripped on your every word. I am fascinated by this woman with one sharp knife eating her portion of steamed vegetables. In my mind her house is like a dolls house. Please tell us more.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

BillieWiper · 19/06/2026 18:30

Do you still speak to her?

gotmyselfintoapickle · 19/06/2026 18:33

I think you should probably have played it cool so she thought you were fine with it, “oh, no worries! I was actually thinking I should have let you keep it anyway. It’s a shame it’s gone missing.”

Then, because she thought you were fine with it, she probably wouldn’t have worried about you being in her kitchen and next time you were round there you could have bashed her over the head with a frying pan and searched the place until you found it…(or waited until she went to the loo if you are not inclined towards violence).

sesquipedalian · 19/06/2026 18:36

OP, the lesson here is: NEVER leave behind something you value. If you were my DD and you’d told me that you’d done that, I’d have said, “Go back and get it now, or you’ll never see it again.” I would also have worried that it might have got chipped - infuriating if you do it yourself but ten times more so if someone else does. Is there any chance you could get a replacement on eBay? As one who is (far too) attached to cake stands, teapots etc, I feel your pain.

PuppyMonkey · 19/06/2026 18:40

She had her regular plate on the back seat? Confused

Goditsmemargaret · 19/06/2026 18:40

ThePlayLady · 19/06/2026 18:27

Nothing helpful to say but I was gripped on your every word. I am fascinated by this woman with one sharp knife eating her portion of steamed vegetables. In my mind her house is like a dolls house. Please tell us more.

Hahahaha it really was a peculiar house and she is an unusual person, I found her and it sort of fascinating.

She herself was tiny, not excessively short but has a tiny little body that is very strong. She is very athletic and serious about her sport. Our clothes would come out of the laundry and they would look like they belonged to a different species.

Everything was sparse, no colour in the house, nothing on the walls. She always had huge bottles of well water and a large glass bottle of olive oil that she used on her veg and to remove her makeup and condition her hair & nails. She has no grey hair and very few wrinkles.

Her style was one of a few nearly idemtical tailored dresses with the same pair of wedge shoes for work. She wore no jewellery except for one silver ring and she would straighten her hair and wear lipstick and mascara for work. The rest of the time she was in the tiniest sports shorts you've ever seen.

I really enjoyed the time I spent living with her and observing how disciplined she was compared to my relative mayhem. The order was comforting and it really drove home how much crap I had in my life in every way.

The cake stand incident reminded me of when Winona Ryder (or any other wealthy a-lister) was caught shoplifting. It was a way of getting back at me or something because I was setting up home with a partner.

OP posts:
Goditsmemargaret · 19/06/2026 18:42

PuppyMonkey · 19/06/2026 18:40

She had her regular plate on the back seat? Confused

Yes! It was just so weird. Like if I'd borrowed your dress then showed up saying "I think someone broke in and took it... But look I've brought you an M&S shopping bag instead"

OP posts:
Goditsmemargaret · 19/06/2026 18:45

BillieWiper · 19/06/2026 18:30

Do you still speak to her?

Not really.

There were a few things that got my hackles up and had me tying myself up in knots wondering if I was seeing things that weren't there - I decided then that friendships shouldn't be so complicated and ours was one that just suited us both for a brief period.

OP posts:
gotmyselfintoapickle · 19/06/2026 18:46

Shame you didn’t keep a copy of the key. You could have done a midnight raid.

pepayfelix · 19/06/2026 18:49

This thread has made me want to break into her house on your behalf! What a fucking weirdo! She is a thief.

Can you set up some alerts on eBay and Vinted in case one is listed?

Goditsmemargaret · 19/06/2026 18:50

gotmyselfintoapickle · 19/06/2026 18:33

I think you should probably have played it cool so she thought you were fine with it, “oh, no worries! I was actually thinking I should have let you keep it anyway. It’s a shame it’s gone missing.”

Then, because she thought you were fine with it, she probably wouldn’t have worried about you being in her kitchen and next time you were round there you could have bashed her over the head with a frying pan and searched the place until you found it…(or waited until she went to the loo if you are not inclined towards violence).

Edited

This would be the only strategy to catch her out. I was ambushed though. I remember climbing into the car and being confused about why she had of all things on her back seat when she never had clutter around. I was looking at it wondering why on earth it was there and then the words she was saying weren't making sense.

She brought it for me?
Instead of my cake stand?
How could she have lost something that size in a tiny house with nothing in it?
Why is she sitting there smiling like any of this makes sense?

And then afterwards the fury set in. If she wanted to take it for herself the very least she could have done was buy me similar, not present me with a dinner plate.

OP posts:
gotmyselfintoapickle · 19/06/2026 18:54

Goditsmemargaret · 19/06/2026 18:50

This would be the only strategy to catch her out. I was ambushed though. I remember climbing into the car and being confused about why she had of all things on her back seat when she never had clutter around. I was looking at it wondering why on earth it was there and then the words she was saying weren't making sense.

She brought it for me?
Instead of my cake stand?
How could she have lost something that size in a tiny house with nothing in it?
Why is she sitting there smiling like any of this makes sense?

And then afterwards the fury set in. If she wanted to take it for herself the very least she could have done was buy me similar, not present me with a dinner plate.

Yes, I can see how it would have been difficult to have the foresight to play it cool at the time 😂

Butteredtoast55 · 19/06/2026 18:56

I'd have gone low key and said 'I'm making you one of our special healthy afternoon teas because I used to enjoy them so much. Then, when she'd got out the cake stand, I'd have made sure I took it with me. But now she knows you want it, that plan would never work.

BillieWiper · 19/06/2026 18:57

Goditsmemargaret · 19/06/2026 18:45

Not really.

There were a few things that got my hackles up and had me tying myself up in knots wondering if I was seeing things that weren't there - I decided then that friendships shouldn't be so complicated and ours was one that just suited us both for a brief period.

That sounds sensible. It's really untrustworthy to do what she did. And bizarre. But when you live with people you really do get to know them. And there's no going back from it!

Rhaidimiddim · 19/06/2026 18:57

sesquipedalian · 19/06/2026 18:36

OP, the lesson here is: NEVER leave behind something you value. If you were my DD and you’d told me that you’d done that, I’d have said, “Go back and get it now, or you’ll never see it again.” I would also have worried that it might have got chipped - infuriating if you do it yourself but ten times more so if someone else does. Is there any chance you could get a replacement on eBay? As one who is (far too) attached to cake stands, teapots etc, I feel your pain.

I would have been worried that the wierd friend might have decided to disappear me in order to keep the cake stand.

Goditsmemargaret · 19/06/2026 19:01

gotmyselfintoapickle · 19/06/2026 18:54

Yes, I can see how it would have been difficult to have the foresight to play it cool at the time 😂

Also there was no frying pan to hit her over the head with! She had one heavy bottomed saucepan that she sometimes sauteed stuff on by pushing it around with a fork or had the thing that stacked on top for steaming.

It was all quite odd but nice at the same time.

It's why the suggestion that something went missing was even more ludicrous

OP posts:
lottiegarbanzo · 19/06/2026 19:02

You were a fool to leave it.

Great story though.

Mindtheagp · 19/06/2026 19:20

She sounds dangerous!

DaisyDooley · 19/06/2026 19:25

I wouldn’t be able to sleep if that was me.
I would have to go round, mob handed, push my way past her tiny body while she grappled with my ‘mob’ and rescue my cake stand,
@Goditsmemargaret it needs you. You’ve left it with a nutter.
#FreeTheCakeStand.

pikkumyy77 · 19/06/2026 19:30

Go on etsy or ebay with a description of the stand. Most things were mass produced at one point—even antiques now were usually produced in multiples by local artisans. I found a very special set of champagne loving cups that my parents had had for 60 years by doing a search of antiques and vintage on etsy.

Goditsmemargaret · 19/06/2026 19:37

pikkumyy77 · 19/06/2026 19:30

Go on etsy or ebay with a description of the stand. Most things were mass produced at one point—even antiques now were usually produced in multiples by local artisans. I found a very special set of champagne loving cups that my parents had had for 60 years by doing a search of antiques and vintage on etsy.

I do look and just checked again there

OP posts:
HortiGal · 19/06/2026 19:39

Bet you’re glad you’ve moved out, psycho lady can stay on her own with the cake stand

Goditsmemargaret · 19/06/2026 21:13

HortiGal · 19/06/2026 19:39

Bet you’re glad you’ve moved out, psycho lady can stay on her own with the cake stand

It definitely would have turned weird.

We ended up living close to each other again and she behaved very oddly toward my now DH. I reckon she wanted to get him into her little house and keep him captive. There was a neverending list of requests for house maintenance help accompanied by invitations to go working out together on their own.

OP posts: