How can a school deal with bullying when the bully retaliates?

[Difficulty101]

How can a school deal with bullying when the bully and the bully's parent retaliates if an incident is reported?

I have another thread on here about the attacks - one very violent boy (late primary) occasionally attacks DS - he has stopped responding and is mostly left alone. Children who do respond are attacked several times a week and then get in trouble with the school as well.

The school has a policy of reconciliation. The bully agrees infant of the teacher and then all hell breaks loose behind the scenes. The mother joins in and minimises her son's behaviour, which is clearly dangerous - has hospitalised children.

Anything schools can do when this reconciliation - agreeing to shake hands and be cooperative - leads to an escalation?

You report it to the school again and again, and to the governors or MAT, and the moment it becomes physical you report it to the police.

Well the reconciliation isn't working so the school need to take the next step in their procedure.

When my DS was in a position like this and school weren't dealing with it effectively, I took him out of school and told the school he wouldn't be returning as they could not keep him safe, and I was seeking advice from other parties.

They dealt with it that day and it didn't happen again. The bully left the school a few months later.

You can only get involved in incidents concerning your son. If the children are being hospitalised I would hope the parents will be liaising with the school but you won't be privy to that information.

Report the attacks to the police.

You report every time, follow school complaints and escalate to Ofsted.

Report the safeguarding failures to the local authority.

If the child is ten, report violence to the police.

But ultimately parents have the power to end it instantly and can stop putting their kids into a violent situation and move schools.

I’d not give permission for my child to be involved in any restorative process. Restoration can happen when the behaviour has stopped, if at all. There should be no expectation that your child accepts a half apology only for the aggression to continue, so I’d knock that on the head immediately. It’s for the school to deal with the child.

Thank you all. It is occasional or I would have quickly taken my child out. He is happy in the school, social, doing well. The other school in the catchment is a huge mess, packed with problems. If DS was being harassed all the time I would literally move house. I don't want him driven out of a school he otherwise loves by one horror child.

There was one recent incident and I did go to the GP and get them to write a letter to the school. DH who grew up here always took the stance the school sorts things out. When he pushed it with the school there was retaliation from the bully and bully's parent.. I am now relentless (polite and professional too) and will follow each incident (thankfully rare) until the school acts. I will get some informal legal advice on how to tackle it.

If the child assaults your child you report to the police.

I agree with a pp - if the school's wishy-washy intervention is achieving nothing, I'd report the matter to the police and to the LEA as a child safeguarding concern. The school is neglecting their duty to protect your dc and others from abuse.

Can’t comment from a school point of view - what they do will very much depend on any Sen needs of the child plus what works.

from your point of view there are various pieces of advice:

firstly document every injury - photos, get your dc to write an account of the incident. If you need to seek medical attention do so and get records of that as much as possible.

you can report to the police but dependent on age and injury and context (eg kid uses a knife etc) they are unlikely to be able to do much.

you can focus on how the school is keeping your dc safe. They’re not supposed to share with you what if anything they are doing with the violent dc.

write in and complain with photos and written record of every incident.

you can also ask your dc eg to stick around adults in the playground/be moved away from the dc in the classroom etc.