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Party invite quandary

5 replies

Worriedmum40284 · 18/06/2026 21:14

Organising a birthday party for DS10. He is part of a group of friends at school - mixes in well with most. However there is one child whose name often comes up if something has upset DS (let's call him Jack). DS describes Jack as being 'hard on him' and from what I can gather, Jack isn't always the nicest to DS.

DS said today that he was thinking of not inviting Jack to his party but was worried that Jack would still hear about the party and then make hard work for DS, querying why he wasn't invited.

I've suggested some ways around this to DS (saying not enough numbers or explaining that he wants people there that are always good friends to him) but he's worried they will all stoke up more trouble for him and he is adamant he won't lie. I suggested blaming it on me and telling Jack he'd told me to text Jack's parents with the invite but DS is adamant he won't blame me and also sees this as lying.

He's going between wanting to cancel the party to avoid any problems, or just inviting Jack. I don't think he should have to do either as neither option make DS happy.

Any ideas on how to help DS navigate this?!

OP posts:
greenfingers2026 · 18/06/2026 23:26

At least at 10 they are well past the 'class party' stage. Can he blame it on you?! e.g. "mum's being so annoying. She said I can only have ten people or something." I've told my kids if they need me to, I can always be their 'get out'.

CluelessAboutBiology · 19/06/2026 00:09

I’m afraid I can’t offer any advice but just wanted to say what a good lad he is that he doesn’t want to lie.

frenchfancy81 · 19/06/2026 00:30

If Jack is mean to him, Jack simply doesn't get an invite, in my book!

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Evakan · 19/06/2026 00:35

Don't invite him and just tell DS you are not allowing him to invite Jack as you don't like the way he treats him. Shifts blame to you🙅‍♀️

ToKittyornottoKitty · 19/06/2026 00:38

It’s a good opportunity to teach DS how to implement boundaries. But if it’s causing him too much stress I’d suggest an alternative to a party, like a theme park trip for him and 3 friends instead for example, so he still gets something fun with several friends that’s a real treat, but not big enough to be a ‘party’ that the other kid misses out on

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