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I need a bit of help please

3 replies

WeetabixForDinner · 18/06/2026 18:01

This is likely going to sound very silly, and maybe a bit mad. I had my first son at 22, and my second at 27; I'm 38 now. I have been on my own with them for a decade (Which may be relevant). We moved out of our family home which we had for 8 years and i bought a house We all dislike and feel isolated in (its on a very busy street but we have to drive everywhere, and we don't really have visitors because its too far for the boys friends).

Anyway, since leaving the old house I seem to be stuck in a loop of what I can only describe as living grief; I am grieving the boys being little, the house we lived in, who I was, but the strongest feeling is over the boys growing up. It interfers with my life, I cry nearly everyday. I watch video and look at photos, i think aboht how much i want to go back and be better for them, do things differently, i think about how I'llnever be able to pick them up again, about how excitable they were, that i didn't appreciate them enough. On the really bad days I will go into their rooms (when they are not in). I work 5 days a week in quite a stressful and demanding job which I am managing. Its more this immense sense of sadness. I don't feel as though I'm depressed though? I see a private counsellor every couple of weeks, but I don't always talk about how I'm feeling because I think I seem ridiculous. I am alone with this. Its been over 2 years now of these huge waves of emotions of grief and regret.

Has anyone had similar or known someone else to? Please be gentle, intellectually I know children must grow up and they are not mine to keep.

OP posts:
NegativeSpace · 18/06/2026 18:19

What is the point of a counsellor if you can’t talk to them? Nothing is ridiculous, it’s how you feel. I think many of us mourn the loss of them being little, of needing us, but we don’t all have the huge upheaval you’ve had to deal with at the same time, and we don’t all cry everyday.

You really should speak to your counsellor, you do sound a little low tbh. If you don’t feel able to speak to them, then please do speak to your Dr. I hope you have some support irl -so many of us don’t.
I hope things feel brighter for you soon Flowers

Pointynoseowner · 18/06/2026 18:20

Please please speak to your counsellor. I promise they will not think you're mad. It will help you to un pick what's going on and you will start to feel better
Sending big hugs

bafta16 · 18/06/2026 18:22

Mmm, It does sound a bit like depression? Could you keep a rough log...what triggers these feelings? When is it better, when is it worse?

I slept in my sons bed when he went to Uni, mourning. The other I drove to his house, sat outside and cried.

Now, I'm enjoying the peace tbh.

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