How important is a school residential?

[ResidentialWorth]

Can they do more harm than good? Well, I know they can- DC was injured on his Yr5 residential and denied medical treatment basically because he has SN. He's refused to go on all others since then.
He's now about to leave school (Yr9, not UK system) and wants to go on their leavers residential. However, I'm not sure... Obviously we said he could go, but it seems to be so badly organised it could be a recipe for disaster. They've planned one day's activity that he can't join in due to SN - he has to take a book and sit with the teacher on the side. They have to take breakfast and lunch with them for the whole trip. When something gets broken on the room, all have to share the cost. Phones will be allowed the whole time (although they've had to sign to say they won't take photos or film anyone if they haven't agreed) and there is no bed time.

Now we've found out all 8 boys 15-16 yrs old are sharing a room - one bathroom, 4 single beds one large double and a sofa bed. DS says teacher has said they have to sort the sleeping arrangements themselves, and no one is allowed to shower.

Honestly not sure this is a good idea, or is it a rite of passage?

ETA I'm clearly influenced by the previous fiasco of the residential, and am having difficulty deciding.

And the forecast is 35-36 degrees next week. From the website of where they are staying (link sent by teacher) the only room for 8 people is as I described and on the top floor. No mention of air con and none obvious on the photos.

@smallgreenandsplitthreeways yes, she did. And yes, I told her politely what I thought of that. The problem is, he still needs her to sign off his school leaving certificate. I can't risk causing too much of a stink now (no exams, teacher's grading) until he's left the school.

Where are you?

I jumped onto your thread because I'm dreading the well organised, inclusive Y6 residential that I'll be going on to support DS with SEN.

Yours sounds horrendous and if there's any way you could just take your son for the day/days or go yourself as an extra adult that's the only way I'd be even contemplating it.

It sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.

What kind of school is it? You said you're not in the UK, are rules about risk assessment etc very different?

It’s a couple of days and theyre teenage boys. I doubt they’re concerned about the UPFs. They just need to be fed and not feel hungry. It’s the same sort of food you take to a festival or camping.

I agree it sounds a recipe for disaster - no way would I send my son on anything so badly organised!

We said no to DS going on his Y6 residential based on what went wrong on his Y5 residential. He is 17. So far no regrets. We let him go on a theme park trip later when they assured him he'd have a 1:1, but she was ill on the day so they just let him wander off by himself all day. He didn't drink and I think got mild heat exhaustion.

There is power in getting through these things. They can be "character building". But there's a limit. I think the risk of causing more harm than good is high.

I also thinking DS seeing you standing up and saying no is a useful lesson for him that he can too. Take him out somewhere else, find a different way to mark the occasion, perhaps with a bit of independence thrown in. City break and have him plan it and buy the tickets or something.

Which country is this OP? You need to report this to their equivalent of Ofsted

It just seems like this trip is too disorganised to be safe or enjoyable for your DC. It doesn't even sound good for a much more robust teenager. If they're leaving school soon then he's not going to get any benefit of bonding with his classmates. Can you plan an alternative trip away with him where he could learn and practice some useful skills - planning and taking the lead on travel, accommodation and activities? Doesn't sound like the teacher will mind if he doesn't go.

Massive safeguarding issues with bed sharing!

Gdd1 just spent a week on a Y6 residential in Wales, and had a brilliant time. Loved all the activities, including kayaking and caving - the mere thought of that last gave me the shudders!

This sounds like the shittest residential ever- I'd give it a swerve.

Now we've found out all 8 boys 15-16 yrs old are sharing a room - one bathroom, 4 single beds one large double and a sofa bed. DS says teacher has said they have to sort the sleeping arrangements themselves, and no one is allowed to shower

Totally unacceptable. Every kid should have their own bed.
Why aren't they allowed to shower? That's ridiculous.

I wouldn't let him go.

Where are you?

Tell me about it.
I paid nearly 500 quid for my Y6 son's residential (2 nights) and I just found out they have to take their own bedding....pillow, duvet, all of it.

My son has send too, I assess on a case by case basis - in this case, I'd be saying no. I think it depends on the exact needs, but for my son - wouldn't cope sharing a bed (risk), wouldn't feel comfortable with the food, wouldn't cope with the disorganisation. He would actually probably like sitting out on the activity with a book and not showering, but that's him, sounds like your ds would find those aspects very hard.
We recently got an invite but it's 6 days and it's abroad (so I can't pick him up if it goes wrong or he needs us), so that one is a no. When he is invited on a shorter UK break, it'll be a yes but we will put in measures like;
Making sure every activity works for him or he has an opt out option
Making sure sleeping arrangements suit
Making sure we agree with teachers an "escape" plan if required

This just sounds a nightmare, when you discuss with DS surely the level of organisation would make him not want to go himself? I'd look at other options (normally I'd say drop him off the for the day with the group but he's not even able to do the activity!) Could you arrange something for him to do elsewhere that is similar or something he could do another time with a few friends (if he has that dynamic with anyone).

This does not sound like a school organised residential. You need more direct information.and to question a lot of what you've been told.
School residentials are meticulously planned with safety and safe guarding at the forefront.

If you said which country you were in, you might get more useful responses? Lots of people stating things as fact or advising you to report to the equivalent of Ofsted when we have no idea where you are or if there is even as a regulatory body for these kind of activities. To be honest, if you said you lived in the Netherlands, I’d say that was pretty par for the course.

This app sounds horrific.

Ignoring the disgusting treatment of your son - “telling them they’ve changing the activity because of him” - safeguarding and bed sharing and not washing for 4 days?! If they can’t get involved now due to conflict (bed arrangements), how will teachers manage conflict whilst on the trip?

If your son has SN, unsure what they are, can he cope entirely on his own if teachers are totally and utterly useless? As a parent I wouldn’t want to put him in a vulnerable position whereby there wasn’t a trusting adult to safeguard him.

I don’t necessarily think a school residential is ‘important’ as such, but it can still be a fun and valuable learning experience. But only if it’s safe and well organised.
Which this one is not.

Op that sounds horrendous.
I don't think I'd want to pay to send my kid there.

The stench of 8 teen boys in one room. No thanks. Most mums are desperately trying to get teen boys to wash, not have that undone by someone saying its not necessary.

I also suspect the organiser is hoping not all the kids go.

While I think a well organised trip can give a lot of independence and boost confidence.
This just sounds like a riot.
Not organised
And not going to boost confidence

8 teenage boys not showering for 4 days???? 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢

The room will be a cesspit.

While I think a well organised trip can give a lot of independence and boost confidence. yes, I think this too. But I'm wavering about this trip. We'll see what DS thinks tonight.

Good residential seem a wonderful opportunity for children to have time and get used to being away from family, a life lesson. I am not sure how many of them fit that description, and the OPs one certainly does not.

Generally, I think residentials are a good thing. Fortunately, my DD couldn't get enough of them. This one, though, would be a 'no'. If the school can't sort out the absolute basics, who knows what else may happen whilst they're away? Even on Brownie camping trips I went on in the 60s, there were basic washing facilities we were expected to use each day, and preparing food was part of the fun, even if it did include Angel Delight whisked in a washing-up bowl.