5 months in and how do you feel ?

[Littleredstone]

I'm 5 months post partum and baby is sleeping between 4-5 hours a night and goes to bed around 9. This is my first baby and I have never been without a job since I was 13.

This has been hard to try and slow down and look after my baby and not try to do 10 things as once. Because then nothing gets finished.

My self care is a bit up and down at the moment and I know I need to look after myself more. I have completely lost myself and look like a atypical mum at this stage. Leggings, jumper, unwashed hair which is meant to be curly but now straight due to being in a bun all day

I tried starting a business while I was pregnant and I need to try and get back to this asap, while looking after the house, looking after the baby and after my husband. Also while getting unsolicited advice 1980s advice about bringing up a baby.

I don't know if I am going to be able to have another one at my age but I just want to make sure baby is happy and healthy.

I don't have any friends to talk to and my parents are old school and my mother in law is Pakistani so alot if different views flying about.

Just wanted to know if anyone else feels a bit burnt out at 5 months ?

Would love to hear other people's experience please

I’m 5 years in now but I remember feeling like that in the first year. Some days it’s a case of putting one foot in front of the other and making sure you get out the house every day.

Go easy on yourself, you’re 5 months + without much sleep and it’s a massive life change! This is a temporary period and it’s normal to struggle. Do get regular time to yourself? A couple of hours to go for a swim or round the shops? That is crucial. Also visiting other adults with or without children. They will fuss over the baby and make you tea. Get them to come over, don’t be afraid to ask. It really passes the time when you see other people.

I don't get any time to myself unfortunately unless my parents are round and then I spend that time trying to clean and do the things I haven't had time to.

Again I don't have friends and just my parents to go and visit.

I know I'm making a rod for my own back trying to do so much , I'm just worn out a bit.

Next time your parents are round, put baby in the pram and ask them to take baby for a walk. Or leave them at home and you go out, even if it’s just for 30mins. You’ll get that sense of freedom and you can just breathe.

Do you meet other parents at baby groups? What about the friends you had before baby? Colleagues etc.

Yeah you’re in the trenches. I remember feeling utterly shit until mine got to about 2/3yo. I know it’s no good to you now but I promise it does get better x

No I don't go to baby groups which maybe I should do. I don't drive and there is nothing close to where I am so would mean traveling a fair distance.

I recently changed jobs at the beginning of last year so no work colleagues or friends to speak of unfortunately. Even though in my previous job I was there for 10 years but when I left no one even tried to contact me afterwards.

My youngest is 2 and a half and only now am I starting to get on top of my life again . Don’t expect so much of yourself- it really is a marathon rather than a sprint after having a baby !

Things are so much easier then new born but I'm still trying to readjust to mum life.

Me and my brothers as babies were apparently really good sleepers and she had no problems in pregnancy so when I get snappy with her I just get " mama is throwing a tizzy again" while she's playing with my baby. Not helpful.shes of the generation of let them cry themselves to sleep.

My mother in law has different due to the culture but I still get messages like " how's my princess" and wants pictures daily and video calls with her

All while I don't know who I am and where she has gone most days. I get to wear " breast feeding safe clothes " 😂something with easy access and most likely covered with spit up because what's the point lol.

I'm just venting and I'm sorry. When ever I try talking to my husband I get " you have it easy compared my mum" or when I've had a rough night like last night and I just don't want to talk I get " what's wrong with you "

I'm sorry all the people around you sound very unhelpful. I would stop doing some of the things you're trying to do. Looking after a baby is a full time job, and the house and other chores should be split equally with your husband in my opinion

5 months in I was still walking round like a zombie and very lonely. Ex was absolutely no help at all.
What made the difference was meeting other mums at a couple of baby groups, they saved my sanity.
It's definitely not easy. Let your partner look after baby, get out the house on your own, let them find out how easy it really isn’t.