My dad ‘disowned’ me when I left my abusive ex. I had to leave everything - my stuff, my pets, everything has gone - either thrown away or smashed up. I had to leave a house that I paid ££££ into. I’ve been through hell.
My mum didn’t disown me, but her hobby is putting me down and making fun of me. She had no sympathy for me, sided with my ex and made stupid comments such as asking if I’d go back if they got me a kitten.
This is after a childhood of Almond Parenting, emotional neglect and her mocking my changing body/skin/hair at every opportunity.
I had to walk away and haven’t seen or spoken to them since November.
Recently I’ve been dreaming that my dad has passed. He’s 85 now, has Parkinson’s, is almost blind and has a few other health issues.
In the first dream my mum sent me a note saying he’d passed written on an information leaflet about psoriasis (a condition my dad suffered with) telling me that the condition will be passed onto me now so I needed to prepare. In my dream I was trying to find her phone number by going through bins (going through my rubbish to read post is also something they used to do).
In my second dream he also passed I was driving our childhood car (beige estate thing - I know nothing about cars) but I couldn’t drive so I kept bumping into other cars. At one point DS was in the drivers seat and I was trying to lean over him to drive the car.
There was also some kind of hoopla with us buying wrapping paper.
Anyway, I’m stressed. Probably because Fathers’ Day is coming up. Also, his health is deteriorating.
I posted a while back about possible sexual assault when I was younger (memories are patchy) and I’m still working through that.
I just needed to write it somewhere so it’s not going round and round in my head.
Have a lovely morning, peeps!