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Dilemma

14 replies

Mountainviewse · 16/06/2026 03:59

My daughter is a scout and they are doing an end of year party special in a few weeks and some of her friends will be leaving too. only it’s the exact day that she has tickets for a concert for a well known music artist! She really wants to do both, any advice?

OP posts:
AlgaeDreams · 16/06/2026 04:04

What time is the party and what time is the concert?

Concert would always come first for me.

Mountainviewse · 16/06/2026 04:09

concert is slightly later but she’d never make it in time to do both. 😕

OP posts:
AlgaeDreams · 16/06/2026 04:14

Mountainviewse · 16/06/2026 04:09

concert is slightly later but she’d never make it in time to do both. 😕

The concert will surely be a lifelong memory whereas there'll be loads of leaving do's be it scouts, or school.
Could she get the friends phone numbers and a get together be organised in the summer hols?

It's a no brainer to me, but I'm old!

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 16/06/2026 04:48

Concert! And I say that as an Explorer scout leader!

Mountainviewse · 16/06/2026 05:39

Thanks, she has got some of their numbers but I think she thinks she’s going to be missing the final day with them and having photos and the party etc if she doesn’t go, she’s neurodiverse so she gets anxious about things.

OP posts:
AlgaeDreams · 16/06/2026 05:44

In that case it's going to have to be up to you to manage expectations and make the decision.

Mountainviewse · 16/06/2026 05:52

AlgaeDreams · 16/06/2026 05:44

In that case it's going to have to be up to you to manage expectations and make the decision.

it’s so difficult

OP posts:
OrdinaryGirl · 16/06/2026 06:47

As this is a fairly low-stakes situation (not like, say, whether to move schools), I would support and coach her through considering her options, and make it her decision.

It’s a learning moment, and if you decide for her, she’s missed out on an opportunity to cultivate her ability to discern what she wants, and to live with the consequences of her decision. Adult life often brings circumstances where you can’t have it both ways, and it’s no bad thing to get our kids learning about the skills of solid decision-making.

I think it’s especially important for girls / young women to develop their awareness of what they really want and don’t want, and be empowered to hold on to that.

One trick I use to help DC make a decision between two options is the coin flip.
You assign heads and tails, then do the coin flip as usual and put it on the back of your hand, covered with your other hand.

Then you ask, ‘When the coin was in the air, did you find yourself hoping it would come down heads? Or tails?’
And that will often reveal what the person really wants - you don’t even have to show them the result!

Mountainviewse · 16/06/2026 12:23

thanks for your advice

OP posts:
YoBetty · 16/06/2026 12:35

How much were the tickets?

She will have to decide on one or the other, she can't do both. The concert is a one-off that can never be repeated, whereas she will be able to see her scouting friends again at some point. Maybe ask the scout leader if they can do photos of her and her friends at the meeting before the last one.

BrieAndChilli · 16/06/2026 13:15

what are the timings/logistics? Concert wont start at the gates open time and if you have seats you can get there pretty much bang on - if she is not bothered about the opening act then that gives a little more time too.

Could she do half an hour/hour at the party to say bye and then go to the concert?

Mountainviewse · 16/06/2026 14:18

Won’t be able to make that 😔due to the timings of scouts

thanks for the idea though

OP posts:
GOATYOAT · 16/06/2026 17:10

If it’s Harry Styles- go to the concert!

Crinkle77 · 16/06/2026 19:00

Would she letting anyone down if she didn't go to the concert? Like if there just her and one other friend it would be mean to let the friend down.

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