I'm 43 and been single for 2 years. I separated from my ex husband 6 years ago, was single but dated for 2 years, then had a relationship with a man child for a couple of years who I felt had partly put me off men to an extent for some time, and I took time to recover and reflect.
I'm now perimenopausal and finding more and more, that I don't have the time, want or patience to really be around people as often as I used to. My eldest daughter is in university and I miss her dreadfully, my youngest is 15 and she's wonderful, we currently still do a lot of mum/daughter days out, so it's obviously not everyone I feel this way towards.
Over the weekend I attended a 40th celebration, I went and made sure I was jolly and participated in the celebrations however, there was one person in particular who was absolutely drunk out of their minds and really did put a dampener on the whole thing. Usually I wouldn't be so bothered, but I did find myself really annoyed and irritated. I didn't say anything and we all tried to keep the event ticking, said drunk person was eventually put in a taxi and sent home to her husband.
I find myself also really intolerable of men. Previously I was still open to meeting someone, aside from the negative experience I had with the person I was with after my husband, I hadn't given up all hope of meeting someone and not being alone forever. As time has gone on, especially over recent months, men just seem to absolutely turn my stomach! I'm not a man hater, have male family members whom I love dearly, but men as in a dating aspect, they just really turn me all the way off.
I was on a dating app recently, used nice pictures but nothing revealing, had a really polite but clear bio, and within a couple of days the amount of men who turn conversations into a sexual nature just makes me sick! I reconnected with someone I used to date when I first went to uni a couple of months ago. We messaged for a few days and agreed we'd arrange a meet. He contacted me one day and I'd been at the hospital, as I'd been in a minor accident. He suddenly made the most crude and time-inappropriate comment. I couldn't tolerate it and just blocked him. These are men in their 40's, not teenagers.
I'm on HRT and get on fine with that, I do have a sex drive and I do all the things I'm supposed to, in order to look after myself. My concern is, will I always feel this irritated of people? And am I likely to ever want to meet anyone again? I'm aware I'm middle aged, and while men just make me feel quite grossed out, I do find the prospect of being alone forever a little depressing, especially once my youngest goes off to uni in a few years. Is there any hope?