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Year 7 DS with no close friends

4 replies

AtticusWren · 14/06/2026 22:22

My DS is nearing the end of Year 7 and has settled in well, enjoys school etc. Except for one thing - he has no close friends. He is in a class with one boy from his primary school, but this boy has now got a group of 4/5 boys as friends who are all quite similar - into banter, talking loads in class, messing around a bit, whereas my DS is really more nerdy and a rule follower. He is surface level friendly with these boys but his old friend is often a bit of a frenemy - making fun of him to the other boys, sometimes 'play fighting' too far etc. My DS is similarly friendly with a few other boys in his class but they all went to the same primary school so he's finding it hard to feel close friends with them.

He's joined lots of extra curricular stuff (sports but also games clubs, chess club etc) but it's the same story there - lots of people he can chat to but no close friendships developing. We've talked to him about developing boundaries with his old friend and how it can take time to make new friends and strategies he can use to talk to people but he was in tears this evening about how everyone else has close friends and he doesn't, and feeling there was something wrong with him, and it's so hard

Has anyone had a similar experience? Did your DC ultimately make close friends? Or any ideas how to make him feel a bit better about it all?

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Atomikkitty · 15/06/2026 03:24

My Ds was exactly the same and throughout primary school. Was always such a worry! He’s in y10 now and in about end of yr 8 he met a cracking group of kids and now they game online every night and organise meet ups etc. this works for him as he’s not too social but he’s very happy and I’m so glad! Big hugs!!

Meadowfinch · 15/06/2026 03:47

The same as PP. My ds was bullied at primary because he doesn't like football. Made two close friendsl but they moved away, his confidence took a knock and he then struggled at senior school.

He finally made good friends in year 9, but it took a while. Then he got a job at 16 and made friends with colleagues. It's hard but keep looking for new social environments. He's happy and confident now.

I made sure ds did structured activities outside school so he spent time with other dcs elsewhere. Karate, swimming etc.

Beamur · 15/06/2026 07:28

High School can be tough.
It may take a year or more to be honest. Kids are growing up a lot at this age, they're not all as mature as each other and it's very tribal.
My DD struggled in yr 7, yr 8 was brutal but it hugely improved in yr 9. Classes were reorganised and they could pick options, so she wasn't with the same students (who didn't like her very much) every day.

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AtticusWren · 15/06/2026 07:32

Thank you all so much - it's reassuring to hear stories that are similar and I'm so glad your DCes have found their friendship group now!

My DS does Scouts, swimming and drama outside school but no luck there either. It's tricky because I say to him to chat to people/ask them if they want to do something outside of the group or school but I think as time passes and he sees people pairing/grouping off, his confidence suffers and then he doesn't feel able to do that. But will keep supporting him and reassuring him and hopefully his friendship group will come.

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