My exh forgot he was due to have the kids this weekend

[cadburyegg]

Just that really.

He has apologised, but it was followed by “I am not around this weekend”. So I’m the one as usual who has to cancel my plans and explain to the kids why daddy hasn’t turned up.

Just fed up and wanted to moan. Trying not to show my feelings in front of the kids!!

Dick, what’s the super important plans that are more important than his kids? HE should be the one telling them

Get a shared online calendar and a CAO.

“I’m not around” is code for with his girlfriend

Why do you have to tell the kids? He could phone them?
YANBU though, my ex is like this too, ‘forgets’ and then it’s just tough luck because he’s busy. I would never bad mouth him to the kids but he does need to apologise to them for ‘forgetting’

I doubt he forgot OP he just didn’t want to have the kids. Personally if I “forgot” I would cancel my own plans. Does he often forget when he knows you have plans yourself?

'get a CAO' like it's that easy - and it won't make him any more reliable will it?!

We already have a shared online calendar

A CAO only insists that the RP makes the children available for contact, there’s no penalty for the NRP not showing up

There’s no system that exists which will force a NRP to step up

I feel you OP. My son’s dad is the same. I book extra Sunday shifts in on the weekends son is with his dad (once a month on average). Last month he forgot and booked a weekend away so I had to cancel the shift and lost out on a lot of money.
This weekend he has done it again, even though it was him who added it to the joint calendar as I had previously told him how annoyed I was the last time. I told him in no uncertain terms that he doesn’t get to disrespect my time or my job by “forgetting”. He soon changed his tune and cancelled his plans.

It’s absolutely infuriating that these shitty very part time dads get to opt out whenever they please!

How old are the children?

can you just say you do t know where dad is and get them to message him direct?

or get one of them to call him from your phone?

aside from how it scuppers your plans and always being the one who has to change their weekend he needs to take responsibility for informing the children he can’t be responsible enough to remember he’s a father.

Sounds like my ex I got,"I can't get the kids this week,I've things to do",the next week it was"I still have things to do",last week it was just radio silence, nothing & he only has them a Friday night,24 hours in total a week,& we have a court order but that just holds me to it,I have to stand by it or be punished but he can just do as he pleases & I can go back to court to report it which I will be doing but nothing will happen.

I would of just dropped them at his doorstep and drove off into the sunset. How did he forget his kids exist?!

What if he's not there?

My ex was the same. He forgot more than once. Including the only time he was meant to pick them up from school. I reminded him that morning, then had a phone call after pick up asking where I was. 200 miles away on a hen weekend!

My response would have been well actually I have plans so as the children are supposed to be with you, you’ll have to make alternative arrangements. Make it his problem not yours! He can tell the kids why he isn’t having them, you shouldn’t have to be the bad guy x

And incredibly, still lots of people think the court system is “rigged” in favour of women while robbing men blind. Baffles me.

Sadly true, also no penalty if they are as awkward as possible such as deliberate lateness.

There should be one, given that the issue is mostly men, something that affects their ego, such as taking away their passport so the new girlfriend cannot go on holiday with them.

Jail?

That is so shitty

Unfortunately my exh will not cancel plans at any cost.

He’s also unreliable work wise and hasn’t been able to hold a job down since we split up

🤣

I used to get that too. He used to ask to drop them off earlier because “I have to get ready for work” how tf does he think I got ready for work with the kids around

I’ve tried this before and no joy

Nice idea but no way would I do that to my children