Need tips to get rid of a stupid crush!

[unsmartone]

name changed obviously 😩

I have an insane, mind bending, red hot crush, just full on 100% pure sexual attraction, to a guy from work. I’m pretty sure it’s reciprocated physically, but we never bring it up and haven’t acted on it. It’s just this weird electric thing between us. We don’t even know each other that well so it’s not remotely an emotional connection it’s based on looks, hormones/pheromones I reckon! I don’t think it helps I upped my HRT a few months ago! My sex drive has lost the plot

I think it’s one of those human nature/chemical/hormonal life events that just happens. Sometimes the timing is perfect, you connect with someone (and you have sex with them out of desire and curiosity) sometimes it couldn’t be more wrong timing and it’s just a feeling/fantasy you need to push away.

I’m married, love my husband, we have a good active sex life and have no intention of cheating and in reality, no desire to. There is no risk of anything happening at work or socially as we don’t engage in that way, so I have been working very hard on disengaging my thoughts of this attraction. I’ve been alone with him, we are both awkward around each other it’s incredibly cringy, I can’t even comprehend either of us making a move on the other so it seems low risk.

any suggestions please to get rid of this brain annoyance I am getting fed up

-I’ve tried picking out all of his flaws. He does have plenty, but he also has huge biceps and is 6ft 6 and this is an unhelpful distraction from the flaws. Animal brain doesn’t care about the flaws
-I’ve been all over my husband at home (he’s very happy about this 😂)
-I’ve thrown myself into a new work project to distract my bad thoughts
-I’ve started running daily to take my mind off sex
-I avoid dealing with him wherever I can and not being alone with him
-I’ve tried distraction whenever I find myself day dreaming about shagging him
-I’ve tried reasoning with myself and told myself I’m sure he’s probably shit in bed anyway
-I imagined he votes Reform
-I’ve tried watching all my old favourite Tom Hardy movies to try to reprogram myself (ITS NOT WORKED)

considering reducing the HRT 😩

Oh dear me, what a predicament, you will have a lifetime to regret it if you are weak & do get to feel his biceps in bed.

Sounds like Limerance. It takes time but if you google it there’s webpages that cover how to step away. You sound like you’re doing a lot to help though. And your husband is clearly enjoying the benefits!

I quite fancied someone at work a while ago. I recognised how daft it was and I laughed at myself. I confided in a female colleague who is also a friend, and she laughed at me too. The whole thing became a daft little joke between me and her, and it took any heat out of the situation. Obviously follow that advice with caution - you have to confide in someone who is rock solid and not ever going to blab, or start egging you on!

You're doing a lot of healthy things to distract yourself though. It'll pass 👍

Starting a thread about him is the last thing you should be doing, as is mentally listing his bad points or any activity that involves thinking about him or discussing him.