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How hated will we be?

620 replies

SecondH · 10/06/2026 15:08

DH and I are looking at buying a second home by the coast. I would love to hear from other second home owners and people who live in areas where there are lots of second home owners. How hated by the locals would we be? Do neighbours ignore you etc?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
Farmwifefarmlife · 10/06/2026 17:01

Following as this is my plan, although I’m 20 years of retirement age! I’m hoping to save enough for a deposit & rent it out as a holiday let to pay the mortgage and retire there.

Xanadu78 · 10/06/2026 17:01

We stayed in Cornwall last year. We had not been since childhood. I chatted to a girl in her 20s in a lovely shop about art, as I am a designer. She went on to tell me that she had graduated but couldn't afford a home anywhere near her town as it was very touristy. Her mum only had one bedroom so she had been living in a shed in the garden and cooking in her mums kitchen!

Sadly it's young workers who are disproportionally affected by second homes.

That being said its a lovely area and if you are going to do it anyway, please contribute to the local economy as much as you can.

MabelAnderson · 10/06/2026 17:02

dijonketchup · 10/06/2026 15:44

We are not the same, but perhaps that is due to the balance in the area where many are second homes, but most aren’t. OP could look at an area with a thriving community a bit away from the ‘tourist hot spot’ so as not to e.g. contribute to the death of a struggling village.

Keep it in good nick, be a good neighbour, don’t Airbnb it (if you can afford to buy it you can afford not to Airbnb it), and don’t lie, it’s worse when people arrive saying they ‘love it and will practically live there’ then you next see them at New Year’s with a crowd of friends down and greeting you like old pals. And sell it to a local when you’re done with it. Or move there permanently if you like it!

Those villages then become “struggling” villages though, it starts in small increments. The village near me where my Great Grandfather grew up now has very few residents. Bit by bit other villages are following.
Really, it’s a total dick move as my teens say. I also sense a public shift into awareness of what a dick move it is, so it won’t just be the locals who will think badly of you.
Why can’t people enjoy other places and other cultures, without wanting to do a land grab ? I find it really weird.

Paravion011 · 10/06/2026 17:07

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

allthingsinmoderation · 10/06/2026 17:07

I live in an area where their is a lot of second home ownership (coastal Cornwall)
There is resentment and anger from some local people at those owning second homes that are used occasionally/stand empty and also that are rented out a high costs. The reasons for the ill feeling are often based on pricing younger local people out of the housing market in terms of both buying and renting .
So yes there is some hating going on and yes some people will ostracise you.
Not all though. Some people are more welcoming and amenable.

Unescorted · 10/06/2026 17:09

SecondH · 10/06/2026 15:19

How do you feel about people who rent them out as a holiday let when not in use? Would that make them less hated than just leaving it empty for large periods of time.

The people living next door mat not being the same people who benefit financially from visitors.

We live next door to an air BnB (semi detached) ...last night there was no benefit to me being woken up several times by the loud drunken braying until 4 in the morning. The local pharmacy might be happy to sell additional hangover reminders.

I would prefer the house was empty... The publicans and owner prefer it to be full. So there is no one size fits all answer to your question.

BunnyLake · 10/06/2026 17:09

Twoshoesnewshoes · 10/06/2026 15:26

There are designated holiday only homes in Devon where I live - buy one of those?

I was going to say, could you buy something that would otherwise not be a family home? Don’t deprive a property of having a full time owner occupier in it if there are other options.

Lecruesetisntright · 10/06/2026 17:10

JudgeJ · 10/06/2026 15:46

Then it's a pity that so many locals have profitted from selling their homes as second homes!

You often don't know.

People know second home owners are disliked and often hide it from sellers.

I grew up on a second home haven and they were disliked. Especially the ones rented out. We weren't an economy built on tourism but turned in to one due to the number of holiday homes. It becomes very difficult for local people to buy homes, seasonal work and therefore seasonal workers also add to the problem and end up being put up in substandard housing.

And yes, the practicality of itm DHs parents are coming to that realisation now. They live in a small village, it's lovely and has a shop and a pub but it's not suited to the mobility scooter MIL now needs and FIL can no longer drive at night so their world is getting much smaller.

TheignT · 10/06/2026 17:11

igelkott2026 · 10/06/2026 15:42

People NEVER think about this. They think their long-suffering children will drive backwards and forward every weekend to their rural "idyll".

Too true. I live in South Devon, I would love to move. We've been here for ,30 years but still don't feel accepted although in our case it is probably due at least in part to husband not being white. I want to be back in a city with lots of facilities and services close by. DH is disabled and can't face the move. If he dies first I will be out of here as fast as I can.

Paganpentacle · 10/06/2026 17:13

Holiday/second homes are a scourge - they decimate the community.
Should be banned.
And no-its not jealousy.
We plan to retire to the coast- we will look at the time and move there permanently.

ForeverPombear · 10/06/2026 17:14

I live in Devon and one of my neighbours down the road is in a similar situation, they often come up from London for weekends and holidays, allow family/friends to stay there.

It doesn't bother me at all, they've made it clear that they will live here long term when they are both retired. Their friends/family are respectful and when here the couple try and intergrate into the community.

It sounds like you aren't too far away from retiring, it wouldn't bother me at all and I'd much rather that than it used as an airbnb.

BettyyB00 · 10/06/2026 17:18

I'd say 80% hated if you buy and leave empty.

100% if you Air BNB it and or do building work when not there.

Guess you wouldn't want to rent t a local family because you want to use the place in holidays etc.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 10/06/2026 17:19

JudgeJ · 10/06/2026 15:46

Then it's a pity that so many locals have profitted from selling their homes as second homes!

Don't have any choice when it's to pay for care fees.

Nanof8 · 10/06/2026 17:22

I used to live next door to an Air BNB. The owner had put in his listing that it was in a family oriented neighbourhood. In the 8 years it was an air BNB I only needed to ask a couple of renters to not smoke pot, (it's legal here) as I have 2 young children with lung problems. So maybe you need to put that you only rent to families.
How far away do you live now? Will you be able to look after the property as an Air BNB? Or will you be contracting a property manager? There are a lot of things to think about before having it as an Air BNB.
If you are close enough, maybe use it for yourself for long weekends or other short breaks. It would give you more time to get to know your neighbours before you retire and move there fulltime.

OneThreadOnlybyN · 10/06/2026 17:27

Troublein · 10/06/2026 16:29

Yes you will be hated a lot.

You will be killing the place you choose and when you do finally retire, there will not be kind or helpful neighbours because of what you have done.

It is their children, their friends who will have been unhoused for your dream, so if you have a fall nobody is going to care or help you.

There is a massive shortage of doctors and hospital beds in Cornwall all year round, and they are put under tremendous pressure every tourist season.
I hope you aren't expecting to get great medical care as an incomer who helped kill another village/town and added nothing to an area for everyone who really lives there.

I've seen so many people from upcountry move down to Cornwall, then endlessly bitch they don't get tourist treatment in areas they have impoverished by inflating prices.
If you want work done, you'll struggle to find anyone because you will have priced most of those people out of the area.

I have known nurses who have to sleep in cars and RVs illegally parked because of second home owners to do their job in Cornwall - that is nurses who you expect to treat you when you come in from your dream retirement home at an age when you are more likely to put high demand on medical services.

There are usually just under 50 ambulances to cover the entire county at peak times so hope you aren't going to rely on one of those as you could be waiting days.

I know what happens to old incomers when they get sick and start bed blocking locals, as there are only just about 1100 hospital beds in the whole county including mental health beds, acute care, the lot.
They are not loved.

Book yourself funeral plans before you move down, because your retirement plan is to die alone in an area where you have left a house empty for 6 years then turned up expecting locals to stand by you and be your community after you have harmed it.
You'll then get to enjoy the airB&B scum too, who will turn up and vomit all over your property while they have a screaming drunk fight in the street and you'll feel about them the way the locals feel about you

I know Cornish people who hate anyone from the next village over and are proud they've never been more than 30 miles from home in their life.
You'll be an emmet til the day you die and if your family live far enough away, they won't bother coming down to your funeral.
Cornish nursing homes are full of old wealthy incomers who get no visitors from one end of the year til the next unless someone is concerned they have been written out of the will.
Family stay in touch for the first bit when incomers move down, but then it's just too far away from their everyday lives and there are other places they want to go in the little time off they have while their kids don't really know their distant old relatives as they hardly ever see them, so they drift away after a few years.

You'll get people coming onto your thread telling you people will love you, it's all fine etc...

I've seen your type countless times over the past fifty years, first their friends who come to visit die off or get too sick to travel so they stop visiting, then their family get caught up in their own lives, then they find they are surrounded by strangers they have nothing in common with.

It's the same story 90% of the time unless it's people who have family already in the area who are moving back.

It won't be so bad when there are still two of you, but there will be nobody to share the strain with when the first gets sick, then after they die you will be alone in a place where nobody cares about you just when you get super needy.

Don't imagine you'll have friendly neighbours who pop in to make sure you are okay when you are alone.
People who can afford to work as carers have been long since priced out by people like you, so you'll struggle to get any home help if you need it.

They might not be rude to your face, but you will have zero goodwill when you really need it as you get older.
You are not of any benefit to the place you want to turn up when you are at your least productive and most expensive stage of your life to a community.

You are the reason a teacher has to live in a bedsit, the doctor can't treat the local guy because you took the appointment, the local primary school has to close because young families have been pushed out of the area by you.

But hey, I bet it's a pretty looking house in the pictures on a sunny day, so what could possibly go wrong?
Enjoy being old, alone and vulnerable with a great view though.

Well, you're charming. Such a delughtful
positive person.

Skinnysaluki · 10/06/2026 17:30

SecondH · 10/06/2026 15:21

Ah that's interesting. So you'd rather it stand empty for periods of time rather than have tourists in and out?

I think most people would rather local people could stay and find affordable housing if they wanted to. And that second home owners would pay double council tax. And that people didn’t play games with housing and use it for pensions, investments etc because housing is a basic human right and a social need. No one would be rude to your face or dislike you personally but god it really stinks, the situation with housing inequality in this county. And people would rather point fingers at immigrants than look at the full picture of issues with housing stock, rents, holiday lets and second homes

Clontash · 10/06/2026 17:31

SecondH · 10/06/2026 15:33

Maybe. I just don't want to feel open hostility from neighbours every time we visit what is intended to be our dream home and one we would hope to retire to.

Of course you are not overthinking it. It’s stupid to suggest you are. There is lots of resentment to 2nd homeowners, some rightly, some unfairly. I think it is a really good that you are prepared which means that you will probably be the kind of neighbour that’s sensitive to your surroundings and the locals around you.
You can always blame the local that sold it to you!

Skinnysaluki · 10/06/2026 17:32

OneThreadOnlybyN · 10/06/2026 17:27

Well, you're charming. Such a delughtful
positive person.

Don’t turn it round on the person who is telling the truth! The people causing offence are the wealthy people who just think they can smash every piece of the social contract up and stamp all over others because they have money

Horses7 · 10/06/2026 17:33

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 10/06/2026 16:34

My mum years ago went into a Welsh pub in north Wales by herself (she’s English) (my stepdad was following behind) they were speaking English when she went in but changed to speaking Welsh very quickly and ignored her. My grandma (dad’s mum) is from Abergavenny but obvs they didn’t know that.

This is why we stopped going to Wales.

PyongyangKipperbang · 10/06/2026 17:35

So to recap....you know it is a shitty thing to do to the locals as you are pricing them out of the market and keeping property from being owned by locals. You will be leaving it empty for long periods which is a waste and you know that you will be looked upon negatively for doing this. You could wait 6 years, book holiday cottages in the mean time and then buy to retire there but you are doing it anyway? I think that you are very selfish and the hating from me is high. I have family and friends in Cornwall who have all been squeezed out of where they were due to second home owners, ones previous home village is now a ghost town out of season and all local amenities are closed, and prices are sky high.

If your conscience allows you to contribute to the destruction of communities, crack on I guess.

Clontash · 10/06/2026 17:38

Troublein · 10/06/2026 16:29

Yes you will be hated a lot.

You will be killing the place you choose and when you do finally retire, there will not be kind or helpful neighbours because of what you have done.

It is their children, their friends who will have been unhoused for your dream, so if you have a fall nobody is going to care or help you.

There is a massive shortage of doctors and hospital beds in Cornwall all year round, and they are put under tremendous pressure every tourist season.
I hope you aren't expecting to get great medical care as an incomer who helped kill another village/town and added nothing to an area for everyone who really lives there.

I've seen so many people from upcountry move down to Cornwall, then endlessly bitch they don't get tourist treatment in areas they have impoverished by inflating prices.
If you want work done, you'll struggle to find anyone because you will have priced most of those people out of the area.

I have known nurses who have to sleep in cars and RVs illegally parked because of second home owners to do their job in Cornwall - that is nurses who you expect to treat you when you come in from your dream retirement home at an age when you are more likely to put high demand on medical services.

There are usually just under 50 ambulances to cover the entire county at peak times so hope you aren't going to rely on one of those as you could be waiting days.

I know what happens to old incomers when they get sick and start bed blocking locals, as there are only just about 1100 hospital beds in the whole county including mental health beds, acute care, the lot.
They are not loved.

Book yourself funeral plans before you move down, because your retirement plan is to die alone in an area where you have left a house empty for 6 years then turned up expecting locals to stand by you and be your community after you have harmed it.
You'll then get to enjoy the airB&B scum too, who will turn up and vomit all over your property while they have a screaming drunk fight in the street and you'll feel about them the way the locals feel about you

I know Cornish people who hate anyone from the next village over and are proud they've never been more than 30 miles from home in their life.
You'll be an emmet til the day you die and if your family live far enough away, they won't bother coming down to your funeral.
Cornish nursing homes are full of old wealthy incomers who get no visitors from one end of the year til the next unless someone is concerned they have been written out of the will.
Family stay in touch for the first bit when incomers move down, but then it's just too far away from their everyday lives and there are other places they want to go in the little time off they have while their kids don't really know their distant old relatives as they hardly ever see them, so they drift away after a few years.

You'll get people coming onto your thread telling you people will love you, it's all fine etc...

I've seen your type countless times over the past fifty years, first their friends who come to visit die off or get too sick to travel so they stop visiting, then their family get caught up in their own lives, then they find they are surrounded by strangers they have nothing in common with.

It's the same story 90% of the time unless it's people who have family already in the area who are moving back.

It won't be so bad when there are still two of you, but there will be nobody to share the strain with when the first gets sick, then after they die you will be alone in a place where nobody cares about you just when you get super needy.

Don't imagine you'll have friendly neighbours who pop in to make sure you are okay when you are alone.
People who can afford to work as carers have been long since priced out by people like you, so you'll struggle to get any home help if you need it.

They might not be rude to your face, but you will have zero goodwill when you really need it as you get older.
You are not of any benefit to the place you want to turn up when you are at your least productive and most expensive stage of your life to a community.

You are the reason a teacher has to live in a bedsit, the doctor can't treat the local guy because you took the appointment, the local primary school has to close because young families have been pushed out of the area by you.

But hey, I bet it's a pretty looking house in the pictures on a sunny day, so what could possibly go wrong?
Enjoy being old, alone and vulnerable with a great view though.

And this is why the ‘nobody cares’ brigade are so very wrong!

Loubelou71 · 10/06/2026 17:38

How would you feel if your neighbour rented and you had to out up with that or only arrived at weekends? Same for those on the coast.

CoastlineAtlantic · 10/06/2026 17:39

Why would any couple, who had their hearts set on, and had the money to purchase a home in a very desirable location on the coast, who can afford not to be landlords of the property in the meantime, and who don't plan to actually inhabit the house themselves for another 6 years, really care about how potentially 'hated' they will be in 6 years or so? When they finally do move in they will be a retired couple, living in a community, presumably supporting the local shops etc... joining niche community groups and making friends and connections. The OP shouldn't be hated if they do really care at this stage how they will be perceived and whether or not they will be welcomed, as I'm sure they will be aware and care enough to be the best neighbours they can be, when the time comes 6 years from now.

Iamstardust · 10/06/2026 17:39

SecondH · 10/06/2026 15:29

We have our heart set on a specific place in Cornwall.

Ah, Cornwall! Iirc the locals there are well know for their attitude towards 2nd home owners

FuzzyPuffling · 10/06/2026 17:40

We lived on the north coast of Cornwall for 7 years. In our only house, 24/7/365, never left empty, nothing rowdy about it. We used all the local facilities and contributed to village life in many ways.

They still hated us. We left.