As frustrating as it is, it’s not ok to throw out his things without his permission.
Years ago, my husband had all sorts of utter shite on the mantelpiece. He’s crap at throwing anything away. Anyway, I asked him if we could throw out one particularly hideous piece. He said absolutely not, he really loved it and it was his favourite item. So I said no problem and left it. A few days later, I took the item off the mantelpiece and put it in a box on which I wrote the date. I put it in HIS wardrobe and made a note on the calendar to remind me to check it 1 year later. Next year comes round and I see the reminder, so I ask him again if we can get rid of it. Once again he insisted it was his favourite piece and that we couldn’t possibly throw it away, so o asked him where is it? He said “on the mantle” and looked over… then realised it wasn’t there. He asked me where it was, so I told him to check the wardrobe for the box (it wasn’t hidden in there, it was in plain sight). He got it and asked me about the note with the date on it. I told him that was the date I put it in there, and asked if he wanted to rethink his statement about being his favourite item if he hadn’t even noticed it was missing for a full year. He conceded then that maybe we could throw it out.
It’s funny though, I’ve noticed he’s a LOT happier at getting rid of anything of mine, but god forbid we throw out any of his things. He’s the sort that will take stuff to the tip but come home with a load of crap that he’s “rescued” because it’s still in good condition. Not that we need it…. He used to look through Freecycle daily and ask for anything he saw pretty much - we had no need for 95% of what he asked for! We bought new frying pan to replace our old one. He kept the old one as a spare “just in case”. Now, years later, we’ve just bought another new one because all the nonstick stuff was coming off. So we now have three frying pans the same size because he refuses to chuck out the old ones! We have so many glasses - I’ve suggested a clear out as we’ve got a number of new ones over last few years as part of gift sets etc but he doesn’t want to lose the older ones. None are special, they’re all old pub ones.
We have 2 massive bookcases and 2 small CD/DVD stands that almost touch the ceiling, completely full of DVD’s. The majority were actually mine, but he’s the tv and film buff. I’ve suggested we get rid of ones we’ll never watch again, or ones we can easily find on streaming services but he refuses because of how much they cost. They won’t sell for much and aren’t worth anything either. He wants to get rid of most of my board games - but to me that’s not comparable as we can’t download a board game in the way we can a film, and the games we play with family and friends! Don’t get me started on the dozens of storage boxes of fucking Lego…. Or the builds sitting in front of the DVD’s, or the 5 complete pieces I can see on our coffee table right now, plus a few bags waiting to be built again.
Oh how I long for the day I can leave, get my own SMALL place and just be me in my tidy, uncluttered home with the things that bring me joy….