Feeling cut off by my parents during breakdown of marriage

[Led921900]

My parents were brought up in Irish catholic households.
Been with my husband 14 years with a few bumps of incompatibility. Parents didn't really listen saying 'well you're married.'

I get it but my brother is divorced, and the other wasn't married before having children.

Marriage in a rocky patch again. TBH I think my husband is gay.

They don't want to know, don't want me to visit and don't want me to talk to them. They've basically cut me off except for conversations about something else.

It hits harder than the marriage breadkdown sometimes.

All my friends happily in relationships and I'm embarrassed and heartbroken by the situation, so feel very very alone.

All I think I can do is join a few classes at the gym so my mind is off it and I might get to make small talk to other people whilst feeling quite alone.

Any support?

It hurts right now, almost unbearably, but they are not good people. They masquerade as such under the shelter of religion, but actually cast you, their own flesh and blood, aside. I have experienced it, and the only way is to step forwards and let time heal you, and fit new shiny boundaries. Do not tolerate people who treat you so appallingly.

As hard as it is, picking yourself back up (with a combination of self care, therapy, and hopefully some supportive people in your life like friends etc,) is the only way to get peace and self respect.

If they truly loved and valued you, they wouldn't be choosing to be so shitty. They should be happy you're not stuck with someone who isn't right... But they don't have the capacity for that, nor to be good parents to you as you deserve. I'm so sorry to be so blunt, and I truly hope you find resolution and strength.

Thanks, TBH i think the idea of the grandkids being upset and hurt stresses them out so much they just can't deal. They're early 80's and it's too much for them I think.

Sorry I read it as you were already splitting. You dessver to be free of all these people, your husband included. Your parents clearly trained you to accept people who are not good enough for you, I'm sorry to say💐