Sorry another MIL rant

[MigGirl]

I'm just typing this out really to get it off my chest and as far as issues with inlaws go it's not a big one. But MIL and you could also say FIL forgot to send DH a birthday card this year. He got a text to say sorry not even a phone call.

I suppose it was probably inevitable as they have forgotten both DS and my birthday for the last 2 years. I just feel so sorry for DH who has family who can't be bothered with him. We have tried so much over the years to make an effort but I've given up since the kids have been teenagers as inlaws just never bother and I got fed up off being the only one doing all the organising. So we hardly see them.

How does your husband feel about it?

He's just resigned to the fact that they don't bother with him or us.

It's really odd though because when we do see them they are always so nice and will say things like, we should do this more often. They just never bother. It's a bit like out of sight out of mind type situation, but are happy to actually see us.

Not sure why it's more MIL's issue - both her and FIL made him. That's bit wrong to place the blame there on the woman surely? But they sound equally useless and disengaged. I guess your DH knows it by now, as do your whole family. They sound like they don't acknowledge birthdays at all - and you say you've given up which I think is the right attitude. If you know they are like this I don't think you can expect them to change. Chalk it up, don't reciprocate and make your own plans for your family on birthdays. I know it's annoying and sad, but sometimes reality is annoying and sad. I hope that your family group managed to have a nice time and celebrate.

It must be very painful for your DH, @MigGirl, and all the family really, that his parents can’t really be arsed given that you’ve made big efforts for a long time.

Time to drop the rope, I think, and let your DH speak to someone perhaps and come to terms with it instead? My own has had to do this.

So just let them go.
DH's resigned to the neglect/ can't be bothered. The DCs will take tjeir cues from you.
Just make sure you and DH are agreed on a strategy for if they start leaning on you for care as they age.

It’s horrible on your dh and all of you as they seem to be forgetting you all. Think your dh should talk to them about it
but
your thread title really needs to be changed
In the circumstances it’s reading as rather sexist