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Friend dismisses my health problems while expecting sympathy for her own

1 reply

WhatToDoDoDo · 07/06/2026 22:00

Hi. After some advice please on what to do
My best friend of 10 years has a chronic
Illness that causes tiredness and pain. I have always been sympathetic and ask how she is etc
Well, 6 months ago I had a medical event which will require surgery eventually and is progressive until it's fixed.
I've quickly learned not to mention it to anyone like her or family because they are just not interested, so I don't go on about it. But sometimes I want to be able to say something and be listened to and thought my friend would be different. But if I dare mention I'm in pain or tired, I get shut down.
She will say things like don't be a wimp. Or stop moaning. Or will say I'm in pain and tired I'm worse than you so stop dramatising. And yet she mentions being tired and in pain most days and wants sympathy
It's like she doesn't like that I'm ill now it's not just her
I feel like I have no one to talk to about it, I just keep quiet,I just don't get it. She literally puts me down about it like my troubles don't matter
What do I do? Anyone else experienced this?

OP posts:
AbzMoz · 07/06/2026 22:12

Yes. First of all op I hope you’re getting the care and treatment you need, even if you aren’t getting the support you deserve.

Some people are just like this. Either stop giving her the sympathy ‘oh that’s too bad’ or call her out ‘well actually I’d have hoped you would understand’. And good luck

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