So low, how can I stop feeling so lonely?

[90sbaby123]

I just feel so low. I want to stop feeling this way but I also just want to tuck myself away.

Reasons im feeling lonely are:

Rubbish toxic family that dont help or support. Had lots of counselling.

Single mum who has 1 child that I share 50/50. I live 2 different lives i feel but cant have consistency in my life because I have 1 week with DS and 1 week without. Therefore i cant have consistency for clubs, gym, meet ups etc.

Friends my age have much younger children and they are busy with their own families. Seems other families invite other families with a partner to do stuff. I dont have any other single mum friends.

I have a very stressful job which is 1 hour commute each way. So even if I wanted to do something after work im usually knackered and I get back later.

I do want to have friends but atm im finding people hard work. I know i am not perfect but the people who are surrounding me and in my life exhaust me.

Single. Last relationship ended almost 2 years ago. Every relationship ive had has been abusive in some way or another. Now I dont want to get into another due to all the truama etc which in turn makes me more lonely.

Money- im 3k in debt and struggle with money. Trying to pay it off but then keep getting hit with unexpected costs such as car or home costs. No one to ask for help either on this front.

In turn from the last point, cant afford counselling.

I just feel so low, keep crying. Dont know how to make myself feel better. Just feel so so lonely. No one would know though. They would think im just fine.

Any advice?

Firstly, I'm sorry you feel so lonely.

I read some research that says both looking at and creating art makes people feel less lonely. That might be a safe, quiet thing you can do until you feel more like socialising?

The science is that looking at art connects you to the artist, while producing art connects you to your inner self.

You could start by just learning how to draw from YouTube, or visiting free art galleries, or watching documentaries about art.

Thank you, ill try anything.
Im quite creative but havent tried art. I do enjoy looking at art though.
Perhaps ill look on YouTube and see what I can find

Hello, just sending a hug, I am in the same boat.
Today has dragged. Just sat on sofa most of it. My reasons similar to yours, toxic family, older kids - not sure if I feel more lonely when they’re here or when they’re not. I’ve had counselling, too. It does help but it’s like I’ve run out of people I know to do things with.

You say about consistency but maybe some clubs you could just go every other week, like the gym. I used to do a language meet up with my ex and we’d do 1 week each when we didn’t have the kids (nuts but we were friends in those days).

I have an isolating job and my relationship has just ended. I’m missing him so much, he’s long distance but we would text all day and talk every night.

Walking has helped me a lot, just not today. I’m not feeling it today, just miserable as sin. This won’t help you but i wanted you to know you’re not alone.

Can you do a charity group: WI, community thing? The money thing sucks. I took out a 0% cc then paid a fixed amount every month and took on a lot of extra work to get it all paid off. I should be happier now I’m richer but noooo.

Sorry to hear you’re feeling so low.

Is there any chance of changing jobs so your commute isn’t as far or even relocating closer to work?

With regards to your debt, have you looked into moving it about so you’re paying less interest. Do you have a good enough credit score to be able to balance transfer to a 0% credit card. If the debt is loans with banks you can call them as speak about how you’re struggling to pay and most will pause interest for a time period.

I understand it must be hard trying to maintain a routine when you’re one week on and one week off however getting yourself outside walking in nature can be done at any time and with our without the children and is great for your mental health. Start setting yourself challenges for how often/far you’ll go and keep pushing yourself. Listen to music or a podcast whilst you do it.

At home try and really make it your sanctuary. Light candles, play relaxing music, try and spend more time reading rather than just watching tv. Maybe investing in some books to help with over coming toxic relationships and working on self esteem and positive mindsets?