Experiences of having an energetic, wild young son as they grow up?

[anothereastlondonmum]

My son is nearly 6 and has always been massively energetic, silly, funny, and loves running wild, exploring etc. he never stops until he falls asleep and then (thankfully) he sleeps like a log. When he wakes up in the morning he is off again!

It’s always been exhausting - from the moment he could walk he was off and would bolt. It’s one of the reasons we chose not to have a second as we don’t have any wider family support and I just didn’t know how I could cope if a second child was similar.

Obviously we love him to bits and we don’t want to change him or anything. But I was wondering if other mums whose boys were like this can shed light on how they evolved / turned out in the end?

What prompted me to ask this was getting a coffee in the park this morning and seeing a 50’s-ish mum with her grown up son (around 20ish) walking and chatting together. I thought how lovely it looked and found myself automatically assuming I could never have that nice chilled relationship with my son when he’s older as he’s not chilled out enough! But I don’t know if that’s the case!

So if your DS was like how my DS sounds when he was little, how has he tuned out now?

Yes my eldest now 20. Lots of clubs and playing outside! He played in a regular football team but turned his hand to lots of other sports- cricket, gymnastics, swimming etc. He was an only child until he was 10 & went to after school every day as I worked full time but this worked well for him as he enjoyed playing with the other kids and letting off steam.

We had a garden and he always played outside. In the school holidays he either went to all day sports clubs (which he loved) or I made sure we got outside every day, even in fhe rain. I didn’t drive and this again worked in my favour- we’d have lots of long walks.

I arranged lots of play dates even if they weren’t reciprocated as another little friend would help occupy him.

He did chill out as he got to his teens (had to drag him out of bed some days) . At 20 he is still very active- goes to the gym & plays football nearly every night but we do have a lovely relationship.

All little boys are like this, it's part of being a child! Exploring the world, pushing boundaries, all totally normal.

How other people's children grow up doesn't have any bearing on how yours may, though. Every adult is different though, some people are calmer than others. You'll just have to wait and see what your boy grows into.

DH’s best friend was like this, so I’m told. He’s still a pretty high energy 50 year old (with kids who take after him!) but had a lovely relationship with both his parents and is one of the best guys you could ever hope to meet (DH aside, of course 😂).

Mine is not a boy but was exactly as you describe.

as a young adult she is a competitive athlete, and has got used to funnelling all that energy into her sport.

try lots of activities and find one or two he enjoys, give him an outlet and focus.

When they hit puberty the energy tends to be redirected to growth, so it does settle around them, ime.

My now 9 year old has always been super energetic and on the go from the moment he opened his eyes but as he’s matured he can sit and watch a film with me, draw with me, sit and cuddle and talk and definitely focus more. Enjoy him 🥰

My ds was the same, highly energetic, highly intelligent, but wasn’t allowed to run “wild”
plenty mental as well as physical stimulation…now a hard working highly energetic highly intelligent mid 20s man -our hard working in the early years paid off (and it wasn’t all about organised out of school activities either as we couldn’t afford them!

My boy at 10 is very chilled and easygoing. As a toddler we nicknamed him The Destroyer but he is now really careful and a rule follower. He's a model pupil at school and super responsible. Just a complete joy to parent. He is still sporty and active but not in that wild energetic younger way.

I think it's good to keep an element of high energy if possible. My DH is practically horizontal at all times and it is an effort to get him to do anything. My BIL is high energy and is always out with the kids swimming and running and just messing about, and it looks great fun.

My 4 year old DD is an absolute ball of energy, physically but also emotionally. I'm really hoping she also chills out a bit!

We have 2, Ds1 is like yours, an absolute whirlwind from waking to going to sleep, never slows down, rushes everything he does - but now at 10 is also a joy to go for lunch with or take out for a coffee (me) and cake (him) we always joked that he's like a dog and needs 2 good walks a day.

Ds2 is 5 and it the total opposite, calm and slow, a real homebody. Loves baking with me and playing card games and reading, it amazes me how different they can be.

Mine's 13 and quite nice to spend time with now provided you're ok with bike and car chat which I am. There was no way I could have dealt with two of them either.

He needed a relatively cheap sport that he can do all the time and has settled on mountain biking for now, it was scooting from toddler hood to about 18 months ago. Also tried gymnastics and kickboxing but they didn't stick as well. Also drumming!

Respectfully I don’t think “all” little boys are like this. Certainly among my son’s friendship group he is by far the most energetic and wild. He’s got other friends who are rule followers, or dreamers, or fun loving etc but he is by far the most spirited and energetic out of all of them.

My ds2 was like this! Non bloody stop and incessant chatter. He's suddenly (this last year!) proper chilled, easy going dude now at 16, never thought I'd see the day to be honest 😅
So there is hope OP!

That’s amazing @QforCucumberyes it’s always so incredible how different siblings can turn out isn’t it! We always wondered if we had had a second how different they might have been.

You are spot on - we have also said it’s like having a dog you have to exercise! Whenever we book a holiday we always look for places where there is space to run about right outside the front door!

Sport and more sport! My nearly 18 year old has always been very physical - you couldn’t take your eyes off him as a toddler!
Competitive sport really helps to channel that energy - he does a lot of tennis and is now really getting into running (just done his first half marathon). All through exams he needed to do something physical everyday otherwise he gets really stressy. I also have a younger DS who is sporty too but also happy to laze around for days……
He’s calm and amazing the rest of the time, really considerate, great sense of humour and thoroughly lovely company. We’re off out for lunch and some shopping soon.
PS we STILL book places on holiday with lots of outside space so he can be active 😂

I was asked to get one of mine to work off some of his his energy before nursery school - we used to spend half an hour on parkour courses in the park on the way in (run to the swings, swing three times, jump off, climb up the climbing frame, jump down, up the slide and down the slide, dig a bucket full of sand out of the sand pit, back to the swings - race against his siblings and the timer, try to beat your best time and your siblings).

He did football four times per week and still plays at 20, but aside from football and gym he's very chilled now - he's out socially a lot at night though, and sleeps late on days off.

He never bolted though, he was quite rule oriented. His brother used to bolt upwards - he could disappear up a tree before he could walk (he essentially crawled upwards if you put him on the ground 😆) Ironically he's afraid of heights now, it was as though he suddenly realised at about 8 or 9 that he could fall! (He's late teens now) 😆 He is usually fairly calm these days but occasionally does something reckless and terrifying - that's adolescence though.

Actually my girls are sportier and more active than their brothers as young adults despite having been less full overflowing power (but still active) as small children.

My DS is like this. He’s 15 now and still the same - he plays tons of sport and needs lots of mental stimulation too. We’re just entering the off season for his sports and it always takes us a couple of weeks of wondering why he’s so hyper before remember we need to compensate with other physical activities. Summer holidays are generally hard work but he is the most wonderful young man and loves to spend time with us and his many friends. He’s also amazing with little kids because he loves to match their energy and will play for hours with them.

We got a dog when he was six to enforce two walks a day (with DS and DD) and it’s been best decision ever. Although a walk is never enough for DS, it always has to be a walk whilst chucking a rugby ball around and playing some kind of mental game too 😁

The early years were challenging and I regret allowing other mums to make me feel bad because he was “a bit full on”. He’s never naughty or caused any trouble at school, he’s always just 120% enthusiasm for everything.

I wouldn’t change him for the world, if anything if I had my time again I’d celebrate his zeal for life more ♥️

Not a boy but Dd2 is like this now 11 and has been since frankly conception. She never stops and is a complete free spirit too literally nothing will turn her if she’s set on an idea and she has no fear either. In some ways it’s great because she is passionate about learning certain things in great and vivid detail but if she’s not interested in something she’d literally rather climb the walls and or out of the window and escape so it’s fun to channel that!
I’ve learned that giving time to work some energy off, then a short reset works best then she’ll settle for a bit then go again.

We exercised him as you would exercise a labrador. He was also exceptionally bright and needed stretching rather than boredom.

Honestly, at age 8, we moved him to the indeoendentbsector where there was academic stretching, a competitive environment and excellent and plentiful music provision.

The teenage years were a little difficult and firm boundaries had to be implemented around reasoned argument and where he was and what he was doing.

He took a first from Oxford, Masters, PhD and in his thirties a published researcher on the other side of the world. Married one child.

He might have been far less disciplined without the boundaries and even now sport deals with excess energy. 35000 steps up a mountain aren't unusual.

Turning him into a thoughtful and well functioning adult was challenging. One of his cousins was similar but given no boundaries - he is a drug addict.

DD just as bright but a far gentler soul.

No, they really aren't all like this. None of my children were. Active and energetic yes, but not bolters like some other children I have met.

Our son was just like this, needed lots of exercise every day.

We enrolled him is all sorts of different type of sports classes in primary school until he found one that he really loved. He played at national level at high school and continues to play now he’s at university.

Thank you, it’s fascinating reading all these real life experiences.

Mine is now 13 and still loves his sport. I found him hard to deal with after a chilled firstborn DS. He was too boisterous for toddler groups as he got older but was still in the pre-school years (on his non nursery days).

He’s so much better now but I do encourage the sport and chucking him into the garden. Seems to work somewhat, otherwise the ball games creep into the house!

He’s also very bright although won’t overly apply himself. Gets frustrated very easily.

But much better than his younger years when I had to leave a party as he just wanted to race around with balloons and not join in the organised games. That was a low point - he was probably about 6 then.

My nephew sounds a lot like your son OP. He's 9 now but really got into art when he was 6. He's still wild and energetic, but is also the most focused child I've ever seen when he's drawing (and he's an absolutely fantastic artist).

DS was as you describe

I didn't sit down at all when he was around 3/4 years old. Completely unstoppable

He's now 12 and much calmer thankfully 😂 and yes he will walk around with me, chatting, and drinking coffee (me, not him)

Mine is a girl. She is 10 now and never sits still. She does athletics and gymnastics after school, then plays in the garden or goes on her bike, or sometimes for a run. She can sit still for crafts or reading but not for tv. She hates TV. She is really focused at school and sleeps well. She never slept as a toddler but now she is great. As long as she has been exercised.

Mine was a Duracell bunny as a child. Walking at 10 months. He did tons of sport as a child which helped.
Then puberty hit and he became sloth like at home but still did lots of PE and sport clubs out of the home.

He’s 18 now and still loves the gym and plays rugby. He also likes to lay on his bed and scroll….
It’s handy at times because if I want some heavy lifting done outside he is always happy to do it!