Wishing for company during another sleepless night

[GoodniteMoon]

Here I am, awake and alone, for what seems like the billionth time in my life.

It's quiet, lonely and boring. TBF, the day is pretty boring too but at least there are the sounds of traffic, wildlife and other noises which can keep one company if things start to get too still.

I really hate insomnia. I don't know if it's peri or what, although I have been a chronic insomnia for most of my life so I guess trying to pinpoint the reason at this late stage of the game doesn't really have any value beyond curiosity.

I wish there was an all night café where women like me, those who struggle to sleep and would like some company, could go and just talk until we got tired.

Maybe there could some cots, low lighting and music or board games and coffee for those who are committed to staying awake.

Anyway, counting down the hours (5 1/2) until breakfast and I'm sure my body will betray me and want a nap just to ensure my sleep schedule remains wonky.

It's annoying, isn't it?
I've had it since I was 13
I'm now 50

Sometimes I'm not sure whether it's insomnia or whether it's because I'm an extreme night owl. There's not a huge number of jobs that fit in with that.

I really like the quiet at night, though.

Yes, the peacefulness can be so welcome after a busy day or when my mind is racing for zero reason. I don't feel any obligation to look after anyone or do anything.

On the flip side, I'm a caffeinated zombie when the world wakes up!

I'm also a caffeinated zombie and I tend to perk up later in the day

How much sleep do you get?

Garmin is telling me, on average 4 hours a night, but I do tend to nap in the day when I have no other choice or will pass out.

What about you?

I've been through that phase and I used to have to try to nap when I got home from work

Didn't always work though, because for whatever reason I tend to perk up

Strangely, I'm better now probably about six hours

I'm actually off to bed, so good night @GoodniteMoon and I hope you get some sleep

Serious. Why don't you be the change that you want to see. Why don't you start up a charity cafe for women only that have insomia and/ or want to chat with other women all night until the morning. I would definitely turn-up to the cafe if it had security staff as well. I am 50 years old and live in a London borough. If you set it up in London, it would be popular. 💛

I feel sorry for people who lie awake getting more and more desperate for sleep. I cant offer any advice except to do something different. Everyone has their own recipes as to what works for them.

Ive always been a night owl and when I was working for an employer I loathed the necessity to get up at certain hours. I'm 81 now and long retired from employed work so I run my own small antiques company and do private online tutoring, Some of my students and customers are in different time zones so I have to be available when they are awake. Because I don't have a regular sleep cycle I sometimes go to bed and am awake two hours later. I just get up, have a shower, make myself some toast and watch Netflix. On the whole I like being awake when the rest of the world it asleep. It gives me a feeling of guilty power to know i am accountable to no one and no longer part of the rat race.

go onto YouTube and type in ‘ASMR personal attention’ , made the world of difference to me in lockdowns.

You are my heroine x

I really wish this were possible. I see some of the coffee places struggling at regular hours and, sadly, I'm not in London. Just a sleepy, well everyone but me, little village. But a girl can dream! 💘

So, DH woke up and tried to "keep me company," but was clearly struggling so I went up around 2 a.m. so he could sleep better.

He has work tomorrow, and all manner of things to attend to, that I'm fortunate enough to not have to worry about for no i.e. driving etc.

I was reading a good book, finally felt sleepy and proceeded to wear my snoozeband.

Well, the speakers got misplaced within the band, they went to my forehead instead of my ears, and it kept unhooking from the back. I tried to make the velcro tighter, knotting it and double knotting it but the speakers kept moving and the band kept snapping open.

So, after throwing it across the room from the bed, I got up, ate my calories for the day and now making coffee.

I'm sure to be great company today!

@GoodniteMoon how was your day?

I've been so tired today I'm amazed I got anything done

I would love to have an early night, but it just doesn't seem to work for me.

I have insomnia too. It's never been any different for me.

Some nights I can fall asleep easily, some nights I am awake for hours, sometimes I fall asleep then wake up in the early hours.

I don't try to stop it any more. I just work around it. On the plus side, I do get to read a lot! I quite enjoy the stillness of 2am/3am too.

I used to like listening to phone-in radio shows years ago but they all ceased to exist.

White noise sometimes works for me too.

@SaraOnSaturday do those shows not exist anymore?

I'm not even a radio person, but in despair, when LBC was a London centric station, I used to listen to that. So listening at night meant I was either listening to Anthony Davis or Cristo Foufas. I occasionally hear daytime calls if a taxi driver is listening or something. It seems to be a very different vibe at night. Or maybe it was a different vibe 20 years ago I'm not sure.

I just looked up Anthony Davis and he lives in LA now. Glad that worked out for someone. Although it was my dream to live in California, I'm not sure it would suit me now...

I can't find any. The one I used to listen to got pulled off air as the presenters were embroiled in a scandal and went to prison.

I used to really enjoy listening to their phone in show. Probably kept me awake in hindsight though as I used to look forward to it.

Try this podcast, I swear by it. I pop my headphones in and I have never made it to the end of a 30 min episode
open.spotify.com/show/6wegpF4BHu5dQG7sTg1Cz9?si=9OC_7AYcRjaF59zXNmX6Pw

I wake up and can’t sleep and worry but I do like my cozy bed / I’m not sure I would be going out the house

@SaraOnSaturday prison? Which show was that?!

@chanel925 also a cafe that you popped into with insomnia would literally have to be down the road as well! In reality it's just a 24 hour bar isn't it?

I used to go to Up All Night on Fulham Road. Also a place called Vingt Quatre. I'm not sure how well 24/7 bars will be doing in London at the moment given that regular bars aren't doing well.

edit - they are the same place
There was definitely another 24 hour place I used to go to in that region, but I can't remember what it was. Maybe it was near Sloane Square. I'm going to end up being awake because I fall down a rabbit hole of bar research now 😂

@EmeraldRoulette

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tony_and_Julie_Wadsworth

Hey there @EmeraldRoulette I ended up "napping" from about 10 am to 3 pm! I had one a major headache and just blacked out! Woke up so groggy but managed to get some work done. Went to bed at 11 pm and woke up just now so, I don't know, I guess I'm not going to pass out today? Trying to be optimistic and think my schedule will re-align but I'm really good at lying to myself to keep sanity!

Did you manage an early night?

I'm 54, live alone and have insomnia mostly due to chronic pain. But I have a dog who sleeps on my bed. Hearing her snore and snuffle is lovely!

Are you someone with a very active mind? I get like this when I have a lot on my mind. It doesn’t even have to be horrible stuff. I’m planning a party at the moment and last night I just had lists of things I need to do, like stuff to buy and how I’m going to move furniture about and I just couldn’t fall asleep.

I never sleep for more than 4 hours at a stretch anyway. I had three hours last night and am waiting for my Tesco delivery and Royal Mail to pick up this weeks parcels. After that I may go back to bed for a few hours as I don't do tutoring on the weekends. If i do its premium rate.

I agree about an all night cafe. I would not want to go outside and walk around the streets although I live in a relatively safe area. Part of the attraction of being awake in the early hours is being at home and doing what I want to do.

Yes! I fall asleep but then, 2 hours or so later, I'm wide awake pondering the meaning of my life for self and others! Sounds like you can relate!

The snoozeband has helped, somewhat, but I think napping (from necessity) is still wrecking my chances at a full nights sleep.

@CharSiu yeah I have a constantly busy brain

I'm not worried about anything
A lot of the time I'm just fascinated by things

And the things you don't have time to think about during the day come out at night

This can be anything from - can elephants swim to to last night's thing for me which was...

Would it be a nice experience to travel on the Caledonian sleeper train?

Of course that one was bugging me so much I eventually got up and looked it up. And I didn't come to a conclusion.

then I got distracted because I found a bunch of luxury train journeys, I mean like ridiculously expensive. Although ultimately how much you paid, however you are, you'd still be.... on a train...