Help me get through my meeting tomorrow!

[bigfishlittlefishtupperwarebox]

Hi. Just looking for a bit of a handhold really. I applied for a new job 2 weeks ago and have heard from the recruiter that I will be receiving an offer close to/at the terms I have asked for. Brilliant but scary as I'm a lone parent and its a risk stepping into the unknown.

However, at the same time, I asked my current boss for a pay rise as I'd seen other jobs paying more... she essentially said unlikely, but then today said that I'm to have a meeting with the two owners (small family firm, so her and her partner) re more work and a pay rise.

But I don't have the official offer from the new company (which I will be taking as loads more scope for progression etc) So I'll have to sit through this meeting tomorrow feeling awful knowing I'll most likely be handing my notice in next week but agreeing to all this new work, because I can't really do anything else, can I???

What a good position to be in! Since you only have the recruiter's word that you're going to be offered the new position, I'd go into the meeting with your current company in good faith. You then will have the chance to evaluate this offer against what is offered to you by the other company when it arrives. Does your current company know that you have been looking at other jobs? (Presumably they at least suspect it as you mentioned that you'd seen other similar jobs paying more.) If, by some chance, you are asked this outright in the meeting tomorrow, I would be honest with them about your situation. Otherwise, that revelation is for another day.

Its an amazing position to be in and I realise how lucky I am 😊

I don't think they know I was looking other than a comparison. The big problem is its such a tight knit company, I work along side my direct boss all day every day so we're good friends too. I feel like I'm doing them dirty by having this meeting but then leaving. I just wish it had all been tied up today so I could speak to her in the morning to explain and get the meeting cancelled

But you don't want to jeopardise your prospects just in case the offer that gets made to you from the other company is not what the recruiter is suggesting, or indeed doesn't come. They've scheduled the meeting and I don't think anyone would think you were deliberately "doing the dirty" if a week or a few days later you tell them you've unexpectedly been offered another job. It may be that you applied for it ages ago and heard nothing and so were acting on the premise that your current job was going to continue.

Just don't agree to anything in the meeting. Ask for some time to consider whilst you wait to see if an offer comes from elsewhere. Then compare and formulate a response.

Thanks. Yes I guess so. I'm such a people pleaser I don't want to feel like I'm letting anyone down or not doing my best for them

Hopefully the meeting goes well, and then I get a great offer of the new job afterwards

Its not really going to be a "you could do this if you want to, let us know", its more "this is what you'll be doing now". Whatever it is isn't something I can say no to, that's just how the company is, its old fashioned and business done on a handshake type stuff.

Do some research and present them with a breakdown of similar jobs and their salaries and also a list of your achievements and experience which demonstrate you deserve a pay rise. Stay calm and don’t mention any other job applications. If they say no that’s fine but you’ll know they don’t value you.

Even if they're presenting it to you as "this is your role now", with the expectation that you're going to accept that, you can still say that you want think about it as there may be several things happening in your life that may impact you. If you feel that this would make them rescind whatever they're offering you, and if you feel they've been kind to you throughout your employment with them, then perhaps after they've set out their offer you can thank them and say how pleased you are but that you're torn as you've applied for this other post and don't yet know what the situation is with it, so don't want to agree just yet. That will probably open up more questions about when/what/etc, but you're going to have to have that conversation at some point anyway. It will just allow you to at least keep all options open until you are sure.