Bled through at work and feel too embarrassed to go back

[EmptyTheFrickingBins]

I am so fucking embarrassed I'm not sure I can go back to work.

I've just had my period and thought it had stopped this morning. There wasn't a trace of it on wiping and nothing on the pad I had on last night.

I went to work in blue trousers and a cream blouse. About halfway through the day I got horrible cramps and when I went to the loo I realised I'd bled all over my trousers and chair. It was absolutely horrendous and my male boss very kindly let me leave early.

I've been having periods for nearly thirty years now and never had this happen. I genuinely feel sick about going back in tomorrow.

This has happened to me and millions of other women, nothing to be embarrassed about.

It's an accident that could happen to 50% of a section of the adult population. If someone was crass enough to mention it I'd be straight to HR. Yes it's embarrassing but it happened and probably won't happen again.

Even if you feel sick, go in tomorrow. Similar things have happened and will have happened to many of us. You are not alone. You might get a few more encouraging messages from understanding women.

I was violently sick at work and peed myself. I had to walk through the whole place (very male dominated) with pee soaked trousers. 50% of the population have periods. It's embarrassing yes but something that has happened to most of us at one point or another. Go in head held high like you have nothing to be ashamed of. It'll be fine.

Happened to me a couple of times. It’s horrible but it’s normal.

The chances are your boss has a female wife, partner, girlfriend, sister, Mum and know all about menstruation.

Most of us would feel embarrassed about this, but all of us, and all decent men, would think nothing of it if it happened to someone in our workplace.

Style it out and pay him and colleagues the compliment of believing them decent ordinary understanding people.

I once interviewed someone who had a bleeding accident in the interview - she got the job. It was just one of those things. Like getting hiccups or coughing.

Maybe this is a generational thing but I think every one of my similar age friends would be hugely embarrassed by this

Younger women have grown up in very different times and are perhaps more able to shrug it off

You thinking it's not embarrassing doesn't make it not embarrassing

Theres no choice but to go back to work and hope for the least said soonest mended solution

Agree with all of the other replies but just to add as I’ve got older my periods stop at night and then restart after an hour or so of getting up! Just another little trick our bodies like to play.

Of course you can go back. It's your job. What would you say to a colleague if it had happened to them?

I am a teacher and this happened to me during a parents’ evening .I leaked through on to the chair and floor when I stood up. Site team were lovely and did not say a word when I asked for a wet cloth for the chair and one ( of the all male) site team just got a mop and bucket and quickly did the floor. No one mentioned it and I am not saying you should do this , but I bought in a tin of biscuits and a note , thanks for helping me out and being understanding .

Happened to me on a white fabric chair, who chooses white chairs?!?

Normally I wouldn't be so embarrassed but it wasn't a little leak- it was literally down to my knee and all over the seat of my trousers. Had to walk right through the office like that too and a lot of people who I don't know well saw me in that state. It was just an absolutely awful experience.

I think anyone would be absolutely mortified, I certainly would be, but as others have said, assuming you generally work with decent people, your colleagues will be completely understanding that you feel embarrassed and won’t mention it. If it happened to a colleague of mine I’d genuinely hate to think she felt so worried about coming back to the office. Your boss sounds like a good sort and I’m sure other than just asking if you’re OK, will make no mention of it.

"I considered staying home, but decided I'd come in so you didn't think I bled to death."

"Well, yesterday gave new meaning to the term Bloodbath."

"Sunday, Blood Sunday has been succeeded by Wednesday, Bloody Wednesday."

"I thought I knew what it was to be embarrassed, but yesterday was next level."

🤷‍♀️

Life goes on. 💐

Oh gosh that happened to me!

I also had a “bit of a turn” in the ladies loo at lunch once due to a bad migraine and I fainted in a loo cubicle, as I was getting myself together and preparing to go get up, someone saw me and called out “hello are you ok” and then turned to her friend and said “oh god she’s on the floor I think she collapsed - she might be dying” and then ensued a really mad conversation in which I tried to explain I just needed a few moments but the woman insisted on getting our first aider and the whole thing became a huge drama in which I was told, no I couldn’t rest on the floor for even a few minutes.

Well they insisted on moving me and in exchange I vomited all over the lift!

God the embarrassment.

I did go back though. Rent to pay!

OP, l feel for you.

But please think of this from another perspective. What would happen if you did not return to work? Do you need the job? Do you like your job? Wind forward to a future job interview “why did you leave your last job”.

The situation may be awkward but you have done nothing wrong, it will be forgotten quickly. Less so if you don’t return to work.

These things happen. Women have periods. I notice that in Boots now, the aisle selling sanpro is now labelled “Period Care”. This may seem a minor change but it is a final admission that yep, periods are part of life, not a huge female secret. Take care OP and return to work. x

This also happened to me while I was working as a secondary school teacher. I was teaching a year 10 class and was wearing a light coloured dress. A female student raised her hand and when I said yes and asked her what she wanted, she asked me to come over to her and then very quietly whispered "I think you've leaked miss" so only I could hear. I always think back to that moment and even though I was absolutely mortified, was really grateful for how she communicated it to me that I had bled. Undoubtedly other students also saw but she was kind enough to let me know in a really mature way. I miss teaching her!

Anyway, I went home during the break and got changed and taught my next lesson straight after. The worst part is going back but once you're there, it gets easier.

I seem it from both sides. Once when it happened a colleague and I also had it. Mortified too.

Hey. Some thoughts.

What advice would you give to a friend that this had happened to? Use those same words to yourself.

What would you do if this had happened to a colleague? That's what many of your female colleagues will do.

What would you do if this had happened to a colleague and some guy thought it'd be cool for him to be a dick about this? That's what many of your colleagues will do.

Long story short: If yours is a workplace staying in, your colleagues want you back, they want to support you, and they'll deal appropriately with anyone who's being a dick.

I'm so sorry Op, as I can just imagine how I would feel in that circumstance, and your embarrassment is totally understandable.

BUT, if I turn it around and imagine it happening to someone else, I truly would not feel anything but compassion. I might think I was glad it wasn't me, but I wouldn't think anything negative about them whatsoever. Nothing.

I’m so sorry OP. I’m a women’s health nurse and see so many woman who’ve experienced similar so it’s not just you it happens so much. I always think how I’d feel in the other position- if I saw a woman walking through having bled and clearly uncomfortable all I would feel is empathy and I know all women and most men would too.

Hold your head high. A quick acknowledgment to your boss for being understanding and move on.

Just thought I'd mention that at school the kids are now being taught how to help someone in this situation (offering a jacket to wrap around them to preserve their modesty for example). Even in a stranger situation. Which I think is just lovely!

Hope you'll be ok going back in OP. I'd be giving you a reassuring hug on sight if you were my colleague!

This has happened to me several times, I have had 3 new office chairs in a year and a half. I have PCOS and several other crappy conditions which mean my blood loss is gushing and enormous at times.
I work in a small supportive team of both men And women and each time it’s happened I’ve said something like “oh ffs’ and ran off to the toilet with my carefully prepared bag of spare clothes and come back dressed differently - honestly op it’s crappy but I’ve suffered long enough without punishing myself be feeling it’s something I should be embarrassed about. I’m in my early 40’s and although it’s annoying that my work buy me a new chair every 6 months it’s beyond my control and my team have always been incredibly sympathetic when I’ve come back to me desk, someone usually runs out and buys the whole team chocolate!
I hope you’re getting ready for work now and have a better day. Sometimes things are out of your control, this wasn’t your fault.

Nobody will ever mention it OP.

I'm pretty shocked nobody offered you any assistance though. Someone must have had something available to help you out, something to wrap around you, gym clothes, anything at all.

I'm a secondary school teacher and have been bleeding for 14 months, sometimes catastrophically. The first time I flooded at work, I cried with embarrassment as I was in a meeting with my 28yr old male mentor. After the 10th time and having done it in front of teenage boys, the head, parents and so on, I became immune to the embarrassment.

I have learned that 99.9 of people are kind and concerned and want to help. And if .1% judge me well fuck them. They haven't spoken up and I don't care for their opinion.