Three month old only sleeps on my chest, how to start crib sleep?

[Ellie126]

My baby has just turned 3 months old and he is still incredibly contact seeking. He will ONLY sleep on my chest when I’m lying down… for naps and for night time sleep. I guess we did this in the very early newborn stage as he would protest greatly if he went in his sidecar crib or bassinet. During the day and in wake windows , he will now happily lie down in his bassinet / playmat or crib so I don’t think it’s a reflux issue anymore whereas at 6 weeks he would immediately shriek so the chest sleeping we just continued.

It’s easier for everyone and everyone (and importantly baby) gets sleep this way we’ve just been continuing but it is not sustainable. He’s getting bigger and when the weather was hot last week, having him on my chest was so sweaty. I put him next to me in the bed but he just wiggles around so much it ends up waking both of us. He only wakes up about 3 times during the night on my chest but it’s usually just for a suckle / dream feed and he immediately goes back to sleep so it doesn’t seem as exhausting

I really do want him to get some stretch of sleep in the sidecar crib though. Before it goes past the point of no return. I’m scared to practise though because I’m quite obsessed with ensuring he gets enough naps / sleep as he gets harder to settle the more tired he becomes. He HAS done 20 mins here and there in the crib and then has woken up due to the Moro reflex and then his little face when he realises he’s not on me is heartbreaking.

Every night I say I’m going to try it again but the last few nights he’s been fussy before bed and so by the time he’s asleep I just put him on my
chest so he and I can sleep!

Obviously I know he’s not going to be 15 and sleeping on my chest and I should enjoy the cuddles while they last. I don’t mind most of them being chest naps but I during the night it would be good to get some good quality sleep.

does anyone have any tips to share please or is it a case of just persevering with the crib and then cot because no doubt he’ll grow out of that soon before we’ve even used it!

plan a weekend where you and the other parent/ DH tag team and do the hard yards and just keep putting him down in the crib. It’s seriously dangerous for him to be sleeping on your chest it’s not safe co-sleeping. There are safe co- sleeping options and this is not one- sorry to be harsh but it’s really dangerous.

Do you use a swaddle or sleeping bag - that might help the wake ups from the startle response.

Bless him ! I'd say you're nearly there OP, you're doing all the right things. Baby steps. When they're teeny tiny we can't imagine ever getting to the next stage - but I think we naturally move them on when we start to get fed up with having them 'on' us 24/7 and we gently move on.

When he wakes in the side cot and finds he's not on you just cuddle and reassure. He sees you are still right there. Maybe lie him back down there when he's gone back to sleep. One day soon he'll feel fine waking and knowing you're right there 💐

We had this with my youngest DD. We just persisted with a consistent bed time routine and settling her in the bedside crib at the start of the night. At the start it would only be 20mins, but gradually the time increased. I would bring her into bed with me after that first stretch. It's been 3.5 years and she now sleeps in her own bedroom through the night. There might be a quicker fix, but we felt it was better to take it slowly and build up. Things markedly improved at 6 months when she went into her own room at the start of the night.

Try sleeping on the sheet of his cot so it smells of you so he has that comfort whilst in bed.
If he falls asleep on you try the bomb trick. Put him down in his cot as though he’s a bomb 😂 very gentle and slow then pull your arms back. Hopefully he’ll stay asleep 🙂

There’s a chapter on this in a la leche league book on infant sleep, they do consider it as a safe sleep surface, with the same conditions as other safe co sleeping.

One of mine was like this, at around 4 months they were strong enough to roll off and they started choosing to sleep by my side all by themselves. Prior to that, they would absolutely never be put down. So it might just change without your input.

Also, I’m sure you know this, but don’t swaddle when co-sleeping!