Struggling with anxiety after my preschooler was admitted with breathing problems

[Catherine4488]

My three and a half year old was admitted to hospital on Monday night so almost a week ago, discharged Wednesday so after two nights. She’d had a cold for a few days which on the Monday turned into a cough with a temperature but came down with calpol, took her to the walk in centre and her oxygen read low but they tried on a different monitor and it went up to 97 so they let us go. Later that evening her breathing became more laboured and the oxygen finger monitor we had at home read low 90s and she was sick (maybe due to the cough maybe due to the heat). Took her down to A&E and her oxygen was in the low 90s but as we waited to see a doctor (it was above 30 degrees and the waiting room was BOILING, hotter inside than outside and it 30+ outside) I noticed her breathing worsen and took her outside where she was sick again, her oxygen went to the 80s and they admitted her on nebulisers and oxygen for two nights. We were sent home with an inhaler and antibiotics and for now she seems to be getting better. I suppose my question is they weren’t sure if it was pneumonia (discharge notes state pneumonia) or a viral wheeze and acknowledge I am a real worrier but I quite literally haven’t been able to settle since. I’m constantly watching her, checking on her, living in a state of high alert. I’m terrified of it happening again or something worse happening and I know we aren’t in control of anything and no one knows minute to minute what could happen to anyone or with anything but I guess I was hoping for some words of encouragement or reassurance in some way or anything that might help me be able to not be fixed in this mad cycle I seem to be in.
At this very moment she doesn’t seem to have a bad cough which is confusing me slightly, it is chesty when she does cough but I think I’ve convinced myself they’ve got the diagnosis all wrong and they’ve missed something or it could all of a sudden happen again or be alot worse.
Thank you

My son has a viral wheeze and has had multiple hospital admittances. He typically gets it at the end of a cold when you'd think he was on the mend - and then will start sucking at his throat and under his ribs, fast breathing, very tired and emotional and his oxygen levels will be low.

After a few episodes we were referred to the asthma clinic and now have a care plan. In winter he has two puffs twice a day of his steroid inhaler (brown one) with up to ten puff of his blue inhaler in one go or six puffs every four hours for maintenance for 48 hours. If he needs it more regularly than that we have to go back to hospital. But knowing the guidelines of what is ok and what isn't has helped a lot. Just get used to what her usual respiration rate and heart rate are so it's easy to spot when it's elevated, and if she's upset check if she's sucking in and it can happen when you wouldn't really expect it. But even though it happens pretty regularly for us, it's manageable and if we can't we go straight to hospital so not an issue. X

You poor thing, I’m so sorry. I’ve had this happen with both of mine and it scares the absolute shit out of you, I really truly empathise with the fear and how exhausting it is. Are you sleeping with or near her? Then you can hear her and check on her easily.

She’s probably not coughing as much because the antibiotics are helping her chest get better. Have you used the inhaler/spacer on her yourself? Are you comfy knowing when she might need it and how to do it? Keep it where you know you’ll easily find it if you need it, that’ll help you feel prepared.

Trust what you can see, that she’s getting better, that she’s had good care, you can monitor her objectively with the oximeter and you know her better than anyone, you can take her to the doctor or hospital again if you need to. Give her lots of cuddles and treats. Look after yourself as well as you can. You’re best able to look after her when you’re fed, watered and rested! If you struggle to sleep at least try and rest, lie with her and listen to the radio or a podcast or watch something light.

Thank you both so much for your replies. I feel moved you’ve replied back to me. She’s sleeping in bed with us (husband upside down like we’re the grandparents from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory)…

We were sent home with antibiotics and a blue inhaler with a spacer, I’m not actually sure when I should be using it for the first few days I gave it like in hospital every 4 hours 6 puffs but then realised it was as and when needed but I’m not even sure what that means. I’m nervous if I don’t give it to her then we’ll go backwards (haven’t been doing the 6 puffs all this time).

I’m just really struggling to go back to “normal” and put her in her own bed etc. or not just be in this loop of anxiety as it happened so (what seemed) randomly the first time. She’s had croup a few times and I was actually on high alert originally thinking the cold could go that way, last croup episode was 10 weeks ago. I know I’m being so self centred as she’s the important one entirely but I just feel like my nerves are frayed and I’m terrified.

thank you both so much again for getting back to me xx

Unless you’ve been told to I wouldn’t use the blue inhaler unless she needs it, either because her sats are low on the oximeter or her breathing is concerning. Did you see the GP once she’d been discharged? After DS was discharged after pneumonia in December I got a text from the surgery asking me to take him in the next day for a check up and then a further follow up 4 weeks later. She listened to his chest and answers all my questions very kindly.

Why not call them tomorrow and ask for a chat? Your reaction to her being so poorly is completely normal but it sounds like you might feel more at ease if you were confident about exactly what to do, when and how.

Glad you feel a bit better just for being able to have a chat. I’m around tomorrow if that’s any help. But I’d stop the blue one unless she needs it and I think you’d feel better for a chat with the GP.

Thank you so much for your help, I appreciate it so much and your kindness. I did call the doctors but they said they needed to review her discharge notes and would be in touch. I didn’t give the inhaler last night and won’t now unless I feel she needs it but I feel anxious even about that, about her potentially needing it and what that might mean. Thank you so much xx

Op we had this and a and e admissions and at one point the ward was full of DC with same thing.
I was thinking air pollution but years later a wonderful school nurse (my doctor refused ) sent us to the asthma clinic at hospital where they did allergy testing and it turned out a severe allergy to dust mites ! Which parried with her worst episodes !

Sorry to add we also had atsma pump etc.
It wasn't asthma and she had milder response to tee pollen

Thank you so much for your message. How long did it generally take to recover and how soon after were recurrent episodes? We have my sister’s dog in the house at the moment as she lives in Dubai and flew the dog back when the conflicts began not knowing what the situation would be and she’s a real malting dog. My daughter has a reaction to my husband’s mums house(?!) whenever we go there and she has three dogs, could that have made the issue worse? I suppose I’m wondering if and when I can reasonably “stand down” a bit. I have a ten week old baby boy too and I am so aware of how self centred I sound but I’m just so exhausted and worried all the time xx