If you were born in the early seventies and had an older brother ...

[hilife]

... what are your memories of your relationship? Mine was 2 years older, big and boisterous. I remember him teasing me, scoffing at me, and introducing me to playground trends like dead arms and chinese burns. I learned to fight back. We grew out of it and get on fine as adults, and he's now a well adjusted man with kids of his own.

I was reflecting on how different the relationship between my two children (both boys) has been. They are different to each other, but have always got along ok, encouraged by us. We obviously bring children up very differently now and things that seemed 'normal' in the seventies seem pretty bad now.

Have others had similar experiences with big brothers from that era?

My brother is actually younger than me but we still used to fight like cat and dog and he still wound me up to get me to react and get in trouble well into our teens. In fact he was still moaning about anything I did after I left for university. We have a functional relationship now but don’t really get on. I also have a boy and girl though older boy, they are very different and don’t really get on, still bicker occasionally in their early twenties but didn’t physically fight.

I was born in ‘73 and my brother is 9 years older. He didn’t speak to me really until I was about 15..undiagnosed ND probably part of it. My mum once asked him why he didn’t communicate with his sister, his reply was ‘what do I have to talke to a 15 year old girl about?’
we get on fine now as adults.

Yes, that’s it, the expectation that things will work out. When I pointed out decades later to my DM that my brother had bullied me, she said ‘History repeating itself, my brother was the same.’ She had a terrible relationship with her brother, he ripped her off for a large amount of money as an adult and bullied her as a kid. I think she just couldn’t face the fact that her son was of exactly the same ilk and turned a blind eye, unless he was in trouble with school or police.

My brother is 6 years older and physically bullied me quite badly. He grew into a lovely adult though.

Yup youngest of 6. Lots of physical wrestling, Chinese burns etc. We are all pretty close in some ways, not in others. Mum died when I was 7 and my elder sister has made sure we still meet up at least once a year.

My SIL and DH were born in the early 1970s, DH was the older brother and violence was definitely discouraged by PIL! They have a good relationship then and now. She found him a pesky older brother at times, normal sibling snark and so on, but basically they got on. It was one of the things I judged him favourably on, early on when we got together, that he had a nice, chilled out, strong relationship with his sister. She is like a sister to me now too.

@hilifeme too. My brother was 3 years older than me. He used to tie me to chairs and see how long and if I could get out! Play fighting was the norm.

Sadly he passed way in 2020 unexpectedly. We hadn’t seen each other for 7 years due to living miles apart and an awful toxic mother I couldn’t bring myself to visit. I regret not spending that time with him as that happy relationship I had with him was great. He was very cheeky and naughty.